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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is there a facebook curse?

29 replies

cuckoooo · 07/03/2016 13:05

AIBU to notice that every single one of my facebook friends who over the years post things like " look at me and DH/DP we are so happy" or "Look how great my DH is for [enter here] - i.e., buying flowers etc" or "world's greatest partner" - that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM DIVORCED/SEPARATED.

I can even predict now who is the next to divorce based on how many lovey-dovey gooey public comments they put. I call it the facebook curse!

I started doing this about 5 years ago and completely based on facebook I have predicted 5 divorces/separation purely based on facebook comments. I have counted 8 divorces/split ups so far. DH calls me psychic!

Am I the only one to observe this?

OP posts:
gunting · 07/03/2016 13:19

I don't think it's a curse, I think these people feel like they need to make up for their shit relationship by pretending to everyone that it really is amazing.

Sallyingforth · 07/03/2016 13:20

Facebook IS a curse.

StarUtopia · 07/03/2016 13:20

People pretending things are great, when actually they're shit!

You're not wrong!

And thinking about it, I can count 3 friends too who this is...and another 2 who will be following suite soon.

StitchesInTime · 07/03/2016 13:21

I don't think there's a FB curse.

But perhaps people who are feeling insecure about their relationships are more likely to overcompensate on FB with excessive lovey dovey posts?

BillBrysonsBeard · 07/03/2016 13:22

Not always the case but yes I've seen this... The ones who feel the need to declare it to everyone are the ones with the most insecurities. It's the same people who feel the need to renew vows after adultery and tell the world they're having a fresh start. If a relationship is genuinely comfortable and happy, there is no need to seek outsider approval and attention.. There's nothing missing.

londonrach · 07/03/2016 13:24

Tbh is someone says something like that on fb it means the other way to what they saying from what ive seen. I rarely post on fb but keep it to message friends behind the main page.

OohMavis · 07/03/2016 13:24

I agree, but the outpouring of public love is a symptom of a bad relationship in a lot of cases, and not the cause!

There's a woman on my newsfeed who openly declares her undying love for her gawjuss fiance every moment she can, while we all dutifully ignore the fact we saw them break up nastily via facebook because he had a ONS a few months ago. All posts related to it were deleted and it's as though it never happened Confused

cuckoooo · 07/03/2016 13:35

I was being a bit tongue in cheek with 'facebook curse' - I don't think there is an actual curse.

I agree that it seems to be an arena for the very insecure and public outpouring is a symptom of a bad relationship. Very well put - @Oohmavis.

OP posts:
CommanderShepherd · 07/03/2016 13:38

The sign of a good relationship is no sign of it on Facebook

TooMuchOfEverything · 07/03/2016 13:40

maybe you should sell your skills to Facebook so they know when to start advertising tissues/Haagen Dazs / online dating to their users!

My Facebook ads are often colostomy related - I have not had a colostomy- I think it thinks I am full of shit.

EponasWildDaughter · 07/03/2016 13:46

All the biggest flashiest weddings i've been to have ended in divorce. The cheap and cheerful ones have stayed the course.

stitches said people who are feeling insecure about their relationships are more likely to overcompensate on FB with excessive lovey dovey posts?

Similar sentiment.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/03/2016 13:51

Absolutely. It's not a curse but I do know exactly what you mean.

I think it's a public declaration of love for someone, in circumstances where your spouse needs constant reassurance.

For example, H has only mentioned me on FB since I discovered he'd been sexting a work colleague. To an unaware FB friend, it might seem lovely & romantic - but in reality he's trying to "win me back" as it were!

GardeningWithDynamite · 07/03/2016 13:54

I guess it's just the same as a football manager having the "full confidence of the board". You just know he'll be out within the week.

cuckoooo · 07/03/2016 13:57

@toomuchofeverything - that is hilarious.

My friend once used my phone to show me some over the top juicer on amazon and ever since then, all I have on fb are adverts for juicers!!

OP posts:
blindsider · 07/03/2016 13:57

My gut feeling is if you have to announce on FB how good your relationship is it probably isn't very good at all. Your friends should know you are happy.

hmcAsWas · 07/03/2016 13:57

Yep - have also noticed this phenomenom

BloodyDogHairs · 07/03/2016 14:05

I really can't be bothered with the ones that write lovey dovey messages to their OH and then tag them on the status, if you want to tell them you are missing them then PM or text each other.

If anyone was looking at my profile you'd think I was single with 2 small DC's when infact I have a OH and 4 DC's.

Helenluvsrob · 07/03/2016 14:06

Probably- trying to make things right when they aren't

I charted Mothers Day on FB yesterday to remind me I was doing things to try to get some happiez when inside I just wanted my mum ( who died last feb)

elegantlygrey1 · 07/03/2016 14:07

Anyone else get the 'I love my kids/sister/mum/auntie' when they were fighting in clumps at the weekend?

Msqueen33 · 07/03/2016 14:07

Ironically this happened to friends of ours. She was always posting on fb how amazing he was, how awesome life was and then out of the blue left him.

acasualobserver · 07/03/2016 14:25

OP, perhaps you are the jinx? Perhaps being your FB friend is pretty bad juju? Have you noticed happily married people defriending you just in case?

BillThePony · 07/03/2016 14:36

I totally get what you are saying.

My cousin once asked me if me and DH where still together as I never mention him on Fb. The fact that he isn't on it so would never see it escapes her.

stumblymonkey · 07/03/2016 14:47

There was actually a study undertaken which showed that the more someone posted about their relationship on social media the unhappier they were in the relationship.

I'll see if I can dig it out..

hmcAsWas · 07/03/2016 15:35

I never mention dh stumblymonkey - so I conclude that we must be in it for the long term!

hmcAsWas · 07/03/2016 15:35

And if you can find the study it would be great, wouldn't it be fun to post it to facebook