To send my daughters to go underwear shopping together?

[madimia]

Have two DD's who are 15 and 11 and very close - talk to each other about anything.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time a good time for DD2 to start wearing some underwear crop tops - cross between vest and bra. Had a quick chat with DD2 about it and she was comfortable with it. That same weekend they decided to go clothes shopping together.

I suggested to DD1 and DD2 (both in private) that they could get these crop tops together while on the clothes shopping trip, and it was fine if they said they wouldn't feel comfortable. DD1 said she would love to take DD2 and DD2 said it would be great to go with DD1. So they did, and DD1 helped DD2 pick out some lovely ones from M&S. Nice bonding experience for both girls.

Was chatting to my own sister yesterday about it as she too has daughters, although they are grown up. She was flabbergasted that I had sent DD1 and DD2 to get the crop tops together, said that I was neglecting DD2 () as it was a mother daughter thing, said that I had been unreasonable to ask DD1 to do it instead and it would have been embarrassing for both of them.

Am not that bothered as what's done can't be undone, but I was wondering - was I being really unreasonable to ask them to do this? Thanks.

Pacific - Crop tops were essential for me from when I was 10/11 until I needed a bra at 14. I wore crop tops so that the girls who fancied themselves as "grown up" wouldn't call me a vest wearing baby

I think it's lovely that your DDs have that sort of relationship OP.

Awww op you are definitely NBU!
I am only 2 years older than my sister, but remember taking her shopping for bras/crop tops etc.
We are closer because of it (and we used to fight like cat and dog!)
It's good for sisters to share this stuff, ignore your sister!

Ah, I see, InternalMonologue, thank you.
I would've been delighted not to need a bra at a young age (I did from about 12) and most certainly would've refused anything like a crop top (because, you see, if I ignored puberty for long enough it would Just Go Away ).

Ahh, just come back to this thread, thank you for the lovely replies my sister just felt so strongly about it that I thought I must have done something completely horrible! Anyway, thank you all.

Your girls sound lovely, your sister sounds a bit odd.

Nope you're not U

I went with my (much older) sister to buy my first bra. Never even thought of it as a mother-daughter bonding moment!

I wish I'd had a sister to help with bra shopping. By the time my dm reluctantly agreed that I needed a bra (I was a 32d when I got measured!). She insisted on picking out very matronly pointy triangle bras for me. I ended up just wearing sports bras until I could save enough money to go by myself. I can assure you, my dm and I did NOT bond over the experience!

So, OP, are you going to tell us more about your sister? Why should she feel strongly about this?

My Dd is 10, my OH's niece 17 lives with us and they are very close. I would think nothing of dn taking dd shopping for crop tops/bras or anything else dd needed. To me dn is an extra ear/shoulder for dd.
Dd knows if she was to tell dn something dn thought I should know she will tell me ie, cramps, spotting, bullying etc. I love their relationship.

Yanbu

It sounds like you were sensitive in how you asked them and gave them both space to back out. It sounds like a lovely bonding experience for them

I think it depends on the size of the eleven year old. I still take my DD who is 14 for bra fittings as she finds the experience mortifying and definitely needs me to advocate for her. For a crop top in age 12 or something I guess you couldn't go wrong though! My DD would love a sister to go on shopping trips with so both your DDs are very lucky!

I'd have thought it would be LESS embarrassing for them to shop together than with you.