To warn PILs about sick kids

[Katastrophe13]

We are due to have lunch with PIL today, they live about 40 mins away. Last two days DS has had temp and a headache/feeling unwell then last night DD vomitted and had diarrhea twice in the night. They both seem fine this morning. I said that we should call PIL and tell them the DC been ill in case they don't want to risk contamination and rearrange. DH says that they would interprete that as us saying we don't want to come and they won't mind about the DC being ill because they are their grandparents. I think it's rude to take potentially contagious children to anyone's house without warning. If it were my grandchildren I think I'd probably rather reaRrange although
I don't have any yet. So is DH being unreasonable or am I going to be a heartless cow of a grandmother?

Your DH needs to be told, this isn't about making his parents happy, this is about the welfare of your children. Don't even think about taking the poor loves on a long journey. It's also irresponsible to take a child with those symptoms to someone else's house.

Yanbu

Tell the ILs and let them come to you if they're desperate to see the kids, or DH can go on his own otherwise.

YANBU

My XDH and XPILS also had this weird dynamic where they disregarded any illness that didn't warrant immediate hospitalisation.

I remember calling MIL to say I couldn't attend her 60th birthday party because DS had been up all night vomiting and creating bright green never seen the like before or since poop.

She acted like I had slapped her across the face. XH backed her up, said it looked like I was "making it up so we didn't have to go." Obviously he had managed to sleep through all the sick and poop.

Don't go - say the DC are too much of a V&D risk in the car, but if they want to risk getting ill they are very welcome to visit you.

That way you are putting the ball in their court.

And tell DH to grow up.

Call, tell them, put the ball in their court.

If you're happy to take the children, say you will if they still want a visit and risk catching it; if you'd rather not move the children, offer them to come to your house of plague instead, if they want to and are ok to risk catching it.

But it would be very rude to risk infecting them without warning.

I would call PIL and cancel. If they get the hump with you then they are being totally unreasonable. No one with any sense would question you not wanting to keep your child at home when they've been up half the night with D&V.

I'd suggest your husband goes on his own. I know my parents being older tend to suffer more with any virus, so I wouldn't want to expose them to anything. I also would not go in a car for 40 mins with a child who had been vomiting in the night unless unavoidable. And also we've had 2 schools locally with outbreaks of norovirus leaving to large scale absences and repeated deep cleans so I'd keep them in for 48 hours.

Who wants to pick up D+V unless they have no option! Even if your PiL are young and healthy it's not exactly something they'd love to schedule in for their coming week once your poor children have left germs all over their house.