I love him dearly but .......

[Vickymumof4]

Perfectly prepared to be told I'm a miserable, ungrateful mare ! So I've been moaning to dh for months that the kitchen needs painting. we even bought the paint weeks ago, however we both have been really busy the last month with work so it hasn't been done. Normally I would just crack on and do it but I've really not had time and neither has dh. I went to work this afternoon and finished at 10 pm. When I got home (shift from hell) he had started to decorate as a surprise ! ( I can hear everyone now saying how lovely ) I am furious. It is only half done, there's paint everywhere,on the floor, on the work tops, on the cooker, even on the bloody dog. So tomorrow I will have to get up and not only finish the sodding painting but clear up the mess too. I know he will help, he won't leave it all to me, but there is no way it will be finished tomorrow as we are going out for lunch with the dc so it will be left until the end of next week as we are both back to work On Monday. I know he was trying to help and was so happy that he had made a start and I've been kind and thankful, but inside I'm seething ! I know I'm a horrid wife 😔

So you've wanted to get it done, he's made a start, won't leave it all to you to clear up and will likely be finished next week. I'm not seeing the problem tbh

Good on him for getting started. I wouldn't be too happy about paint gone astray but as long as he can remove it then it's ok. Why are you furious? Has he got one over on you by getting started?

YANBU, the anticipation of all the shit that has to happen until you can be 'in control' of your kitchen again is enough to piss anyone off (apart from Costa )

He can't undo it though, is there any way you can ignore the mess while he gets it sorted? Have your lie in and pretend you always live in a building site so everything's as it should be.

I read it as OP saying it will have to be finished tomorrow, presumably as everything been moved etc...so yes OP, he is a fool for starting it on a weekend where you're home at 10pm and out of half of Sunday.

It's a good thing I'm single as this kind of lack of common sense would drive me mad...actually I feel bad saying that as my exes did have the "sensible planning" thing down....

YANBU in short.

Half of the half job is cleaning up after yourself! Slapping on some paint and then leaving it splattered on the floor/work tops/cooker/dog isn't a lovely surprise for your DW to come home to after she's had the bastard of all late shifts.

Majestic not at all ! I really can't stand mess and it's just that it won't get finished for nearly a week, added to splotches of paint everywhere and a zebra striped dog to bath too ! I wish he had waited till we were both off and could get it done in a weekend together. He's a love really, bless him , I'm still annoyed though !

YANBU but its almost impossible to say anything about. My partner is the same, he thinks he is being helpful by putting on a load of washing, actually he just put on 1/2 a load of clothes with our towels (so fluff city) AND the dog towel.

I tried to explain but he has no idea why I might object to my undies rubbing all up against a towel that has been used to dry our smelly, soaking, sand covered mutt after a day at the beach. You know because its all being cleaned anyway.

He tried it again this weekend, I don't know what he was planning on washing because there is only 1/4 of a load of clothes to clean. I'm sure he would have found something disgusting to throw in there to make a full load.

The thing is I don't even want or need the help. I'm on maternity leave after suffering badly with HG, only now the worst of the nausea has passed and all there is for me to do is clean and nest. Phew rant over, feel better now.

YANBU. Is it really so difficult to use dust sheets?

YANBU. Sploshing paint everywhere is not on, Im not brilliant at painting at all but I can do better than that, even if it takes longer. Dust sheets and masking tape are my friends. Sounds like he was rushing. Not much you can say about it though, its done now and he was trying to help or doing it so terribly that you'd be compelled to help . You both sound over-busy anyway, maybe an idea for next time is pay to get someone else in to do it, use Task Rabbit or Handymancom or some such. You are both working so pool your money together to get the decorating done, make life easier.