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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw a party in my parents home with their permission?

20 replies

January87 · 05/03/2016 21:12

My baby sister is moving to another country in a few weeks, we wanted to organise a party for her going away, nobody wanted to go to the pub as we've all kids and can't get babysitters etc etc

Anyways, the crux of the issue is that while it is my parents house, they don't live there anymore, my baby sister, my brother and his girlfriend live there, rent free might I add. My mother and father have no problem with us throwing the party in the house but my brother and his girlfriend are kicking up a stink even though they won't be there for the weekend they'll be away.

We've promised to clean the house before (as they don't clean it to my mothers standards) and after the party but I'm after being f'd and blinded out of it by my brother for even mentioning it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 05/03/2016 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2016 21:16

How old is the baby?

I don't think it's fair to hold a party in someone's home if they're unhappy with it.

Can you not have the party at yours?

honeyroar · 05/03/2016 21:16

I wouldn't want you throwing a party at the house I lived in, whether I owned it or not, especially if I wasn't even there to keep an eye on my stuff, no way! Why can't you have it at the house you live in if he's not happy about it?

blublutoo · 05/03/2016 21:17

By baby sister I'm assuming an adult? Does she want a party? If so then yes I would do it! it's your parents house.

Original poster
January87 · 05/03/2016 21:18

It's all family, no friends so there's no worries about stuff being moved or touched etc etc. Their bedroom will be locked anyway, everything downstairs belongs to my parents. I can't have it at my house as my kids will be in bed come 8 o'clock as my husband will be at home minding them.

OP posts:
Original poster
January87 · 05/03/2016 21:19

Brother is 24 sister is 21.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2016 21:19

I wouldn't want you throwing a party at the house I lived in, whether I owned it or not, especially if I wasn't even there to keep an eye on my stuff, no way! They don't pay rent either, so they would be a little U to start telling everyone the odds. Don't like it? Pay rent.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2016 21:20

Are they annoyed it was organised for when they are away?

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2016 21:21

I think the lack of rent is a red herring as if the parents wanted to charge them, they would.

Either way 3 people live there and 2 of them don't want the party in their home.

Does it matter if your kids will be in bed OP? It's a family party after all.

Original poster
January87 · 05/03/2016 21:23

No, they're not annoyed that we're throwing it while they're away he was initially annoyed because he is busy with uni atm and when I pointed out he wouldn't even be home that weekend he still threw a wobbler because he had no say.

OP posts:
Katenka · 05/03/2016 21:24

The rent is neither here nor there.

That's a separate issue.

I think someone has the right to say no to party thrown in their own home. All their stuff is there. It's their home.

bloodyteenagers · 05/03/2016 21:27

It's also the sisters home as well.
Why does the brother get final say?
The owners are fine about it.
The other occupant is also fine with it.

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2016 21:30

Well 2 out of 3 people whose home it actually is at the moment are not fine with it, and the OP seems to have no good reason not to hold the party in her own home.

Original poster
January87 · 05/03/2016 21:32

Well the good reason is my 4 kids who'll be in bed and are light sleepers... that and my home wouldn't be large enough to host a party in.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2016 21:34

I'm not sure the rent is a red herring. Presumably your parents expect to have more control over the home than a normal landlord would. Their vote counts. It wouldn't if it were a landlord being paid for exclusive possession of a home.

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2016 21:36

So they wouldn't be invited downstairs at a family party, when there will be other kids there?

Bogeyface · 05/03/2016 21:44

5 people involved. 2 owners, 3 tenants.

2 owners + 1 tenant are all fine with it, so if PP's are basing it on numbers then DB and SIL lose.

Bogeyface · 05/03/2016 21:45

Was he one of those kids that always wanted what you were playing with? And then when you moved on to something else, he wanted that too?

Sounds like a brat who can be safely ignored. Just organise the party but dont mention it to him again.

Original poster
January87 · 06/03/2016 15:40

Thanks all, I think it was more the way he spoke to me in front of others that made me quite angry and upset about what he said. He f'd and blinded out of him when there was no need for it. Spoke to my parents again and while they are agreeable to us using the house for the party I've decided we won't do it and we'll head out for lunch instead rather than a party.

OP posts:
Ameliablue · 06/03/2016 15:53

I lived in my parents house for a while, without my parents as dad was working away. It was still the family home though rather than just my home so my siblings could come and go as they wanted, (they didn't live there). It was my parents decision at the end of the day, even though they weren't there at the time so yanbu.

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