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Original poster

About this ready meal falling on the floor?

58 replies

Teaandcakeat8 · 05/03/2016 19:39

I'm at my parents house for the weekend (for Mother's Day). Back story: I moved out when I was 18 and I'm now nearly 30 so I'm quite used to looking after myself.

I've driven 150 miles to come home. My parents are going out tonight to a party (not an unusual occurrence) so they bought me a ready meal to have for my dinner.

Just went to put said ready meal in the oven, didn't realise it was already hot and then dropped the meal on the floor. Swore a bit, in annoyance went into the lounge.

My parents asked if I wanted some money for the chip shop but I said no as I already did this last night. I said when I work up the motivation (it being Saturday night after all) I would go and find something to cook.

At this point my mum started crying, ran out of the room and hasn't come back.

Can anyone tell me what I have done wrong here?

(Just made myself some soup etc so I'm not starving)

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/03/2016 20:17

Did the ready meal stain her brand new white 90% wool carpet, splatter all over her distressed wood cabinets and splash her party outfit in unsightly orange blobs?

If not, I think she's 'highly strung'.

WilLiAmHerschel · 05/03/2016 20:17

It sounds like maybe your mum has something else on her mind or that was the final straw at the end of a long run of bad luck or something. Unless there's a back story.

LineyReborn · 05/03/2016 20:18

So your mum had heated up a ready meal for you, but you didn't know it was hot?

That's odd, that she didn't tell you. And she must have put the sleeve back on it (otherwise it's obvious that a ready meal's been heated up).

Do you think she has problems she's not sharing?

Blu · 05/03/2016 20:19

When you say ready meal do you mean from a shop, or was it home made by her to heat up?

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 05/03/2016 20:19

No... I went to make my own dinner but the oven was still hot (as my parents just made theirs earlier). I wasn't thinking, pulled the door down, it was hot and I dropped the meal on the oven/floor.

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 05/03/2016 20:21

I'm lost. Confused

ApproachingATunnel · 05/03/2016 20:24

Odd but i recognize the behaviour. My own mum does similar stuff like cook and then get upset if i didnt want to eat at that specific time (because she decided i should be eating). Drama, unnecassary drama! At 35 she still tries to infantilize me and when that fails gets in a huff. Your mother sounds similar, dont feed her drama, ignore, ignore.

decisionsdecisions123 · 05/03/2016 20:25

Why are you travelling long distances for your parents to go out to a party without you and for them to eat without you and then you have a ready meal by yourself? Doesn't sound like much fun to me.

No idea about your mum, sounds very odd.

LobsterQuadrille · 05/03/2016 20:26

So the dropped meal was caused by shock that the oven was hot, rather than a burned hand because the meal was hot ...?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/03/2016 20:26

Weird they didn't leave you some of their recently cooked dinner. This is getting stranger and stranger.
Try not to overthink it OP, you'll drive yoursef mad, give mum a nice hug instead.

Pipbin · 05/03/2016 20:27

I'm confused.
Why didn't you all eat together if they had just had their dinner.
Why are they going out when they have you coming to visit for the weekend?

LineyReborn · 05/03/2016 20:30

If the oven was still that hot, they could only just have eaten, surely? Why did you need a separate ready meal? That seems very isolating for you.

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 05/03/2016 20:31

They cooked themselves a pizza as they are off out.

They almost always have plans when I go home to visit... we are out for a meal tomorrow as it's Mothers Day but it is a long drive for an afternoon hence I'm staying tonight.

No, I don't really like it or think its normal (compared to friends parents) but I'm not sure how I would ever bring it up with them.

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 05/03/2016 20:34

Has she had a drink?

It just seems terribly strange.

IHaveBrilloHair · 05/03/2016 20:34

Is it that she needs to know you've a decent meal?
I can be like this but my dd is 14 and I certainly don't react the way your Mum did.

Sophia1984 · 05/03/2016 20:46

I'm seconding the menopause suggestion/question. Sounds like she needs a listening ear whatever it is x

StrictlyMumDancing · 05/03/2016 20:52

That all sounds like something that would happen at my parents, apart from the running off crying bit. If that's not usual behaviour for your DM then there's possibly something else up. She's not showing other signs of anxiety? Sounds strange but when my anxiety flares up sometimes something innocuous will be the thing that drives me over the edge.

eddielizzard · 05/03/2016 20:52

so let me get this straight:

  1. you drive 150 miles to stay one night and one day to take your mum out for mothers day.
  1. they have made plans for the only evening you're here.
  1. they cook themselves a pizza which they eat together, without you.
  1. they buy you a ready meal for you to eat on your own.
  1. mum flounces out of room after chip money is refused.

doesn't sound very welcoming.

Justaboy · 05/03/2016 20:54

eddielizzard Do you know any normal parents or offspring for that matter as sure as hell I don't!.

eddielizzard · 05/03/2016 20:55

hahah justaboy, come to think of it i don't! my family dynamics are just as fucked up as the op's!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/03/2016 20:59

Probably best to brush the whole thing under the carpet like any normal dysfunctional family Wink

AcrossthePond55 · 05/03/2016 21:00

It all depends on the scenario. If you dropped the meal, said a little swear, Mum says do you want money, you say "No Mum, my fault for not being more careful, I'll grub up something later", then I'd say you need to ask her if everything's OK in her life. If on the other hand you dropped the meal, let out stream of loud swears including 'who left the fucking oven on' or words to that affect, Mum says do you want money, you say "No Mum, I had chips yesterday, I'll cook myself a meal later" with a 'tone', then I'd say you owe her an apology.

Frankly, I'd probably check first next time to see if they had plans before I planned a visit even if it were for a 'special day' unless you have friends you like to see. I can't see making the drive just to spend most of the time on your own.

HemanOrSheRa · 05/03/2016 21:05

Ah. This reminds me of the time my Auntie and Uncle came to visit. Auntie fell threw the door when they arrived because Uncle had forgotten to pack her nightie Confused. Something else is definitely going on.

Just to add I would have scooped the meal up and eaten it. And taken the chip money

BackInTheRealWorld · 05/03/2016 21:08

Does you being there make them on edge? Sorry, I'm just trying to get a feel for the relationship

CurlyhairedAssassin · 05/03/2016 21:26

Do you resent the fact that they are going out when they knew you were coming? It would be understandable if you did, particularly as it seems to happen a lot. So could that resentment be coming across in your demeanour and tone and they're picking up on it? And your mum thought you had a big mood on when you dropped the meal?

Was there a discussion about who was having what for tea? Did they even ask you if you wanted pizza with them?

Was your visit last minute so they already had pizza in for them, still felt obliged to attend the party because they had already Rsvp'd they'd go even though you were visiting, and then got a separate ready meal for you?

Did you expect them to cancel their party plans which may have been planned for ages, because you were coming and then feel a bit aggrieved when they didn't cancel?

Were you also informally invited to the party once the hosts knew you were visiting home, but refused to go with them and your mum felt torn?

Come on, OP, give us a bit more to go on, I feel like I'm writing a soap opera here!