To be feeling hormonal, angry and frustrated!

[Onthedowns]

My little boy was born on Tuesday morning 5 weeks early, in scbu but doing well! I had to leave him behind yesterday as also have a 4 year old DD, it's killing me. Every time I leave him I am crying also trying to express round the clock this is not easy. The majority of people have been brilliant my mum has looked after DD and cleaned my house, done washing. Some people just keep pestering for visits and photos . MIL doesn't drive and is pressurising DH for lifts to hospital and back. We live 15 minutes but busy route. She lives 5 minutes from a bus stop runs every 15 minutes . We had a stressful situation in the week with DH spending rush hour backwards and forwards missing care time with our son. Today she has posted on Facebook how hard it is for her just looking at him and not having a first cuddle. It's made me rage! Grandparents are allowed visits but no touching. I try to tell my DH and he sort of gets it but then sides with his mum . I am also now hearing about making sure his mum goes tomorrow. I am holding back replying to Facebook post and my tongue. My mum and dad haven't seen him they are helping with the practical things that need doing. I know I am sensitive but it won't be long before I bite the way I am feeling

I don't get the rage over the FB post, if it was my grandchild or niece/nephew I'd find it hard to not have a cuddle or be able to touch them and feel helpless. It's not just parents who find it hard.

The lift thing, depends on if your DH is passing. 15 minutes on a bus is likely 5 by car so not like it's a million miles away.

I suspect your emotions are all over the place and you dislike your in laws whilst favouring your parents so one can do right and the other not.

I think, considering your situation, you don't owe rational thinking to anyone.
If you want DH at the hospital as much as possible, MIL will need to get the bus. Anyone wanting visits, your child is not a show. No visits until you want them.

Ideally you should be able to explain this to DH and have him deal with it for you but if he won't, put your foot down. But I would ensure that he knew that at this point, you should be a team. You and dc are the primary family and the ones he should be focusing on keeping happy right now

I don't agree actually the parents find it hardest, I gave birth to him and was taken after ten minutes. My daughter is just as important and no one esle has made a fuss. I am sure my parents each time they came to see me wanted to see him but the focus was helping me not being selfish. And actually when we have a dd at home I don't think my DH needs to be ensuring his mum can get to the hospital for visiting. We have childcare, a home and he has a job.

The lift pressurising was also whilst I was in hospital so one down for childcare. There were plenty of others To ask . The journey is 15 mins by car if traffic then longer.