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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh thinks we have spent too much money on dd's birthday

70 replies

justalittlelemondrizzle · 05/03/2016 13:21

Just that really. £130 for a party with 12 friends £120 on pressies and extras. I don't think thats extravagant at all. Infact it is the cheapest weve ever done. Am I living in a dream world?!

OP posts:
HighwayDragon1 · 05/03/2016 14:24

I've just spent near £500 on dds birthday party. You've spent very little

Haudyerwheesht · 05/03/2016 14:25

If you can afford it without scrimping and she is grateful then it's fine.
My dc are 5&9 we usually spend £80ish on a present and £100ish on a party. They also get to go to the cinema or bowling with a meal out on the day. We aren't well off especially but can do it ok.

Original poster
justalittlelemondrizzle · 05/03/2016 14:26

Yes we did a party at home with a few friends for older dd last year. That came to about £40. That is the only way to do it for that price. Dd2 is 7 btw. In the past for the dd's 5th birthdays we hired a celebrity entertainer. It cost us £550 for him, the venue and food/party bags/cake. This is nothing compared to that

OP posts:
Cococo1 · 05/03/2016 14:28

I did a dinner party for dd one year - it probably cost £40 or less. No party bags as they are uncool (yippee!). Have spent a lot more other years, but all our home parties have been the best ones.

Notimefortossers · 05/03/2016 14:34

Ooh! Can't WAIT for the day when party bags are uncool! What age is this?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/03/2016 14:52

£500 for a 7yo here. That's just the party btw. It is bonkers.

Gift prob about £50.

GrumpyOldBag · 05/03/2016 14:55

Gosh Mumsnet is full of stealth boasts today!

PotteringAlong · 05/03/2016 14:57

Bloody hell, you are all crazy! Who spends £120 on a birthday present?! We don't spend that on Christmas let alone birthdays!

Notimefortossers · 05/03/2016 14:58

My 7 year old said she only wants 3 presents this year as she knows one of them is expensive. The one is theatre tickets! And she asked if she could bring 2 friends! Lol! I said no to the friends on the theatre trip and the other two presents she wants best be cheap! Don't know if she realises it means she won't be getting a party either (she's had one every year), but I might take her and her two best mates out to cinema and dinner or something on the day

Notimefortossers · 05/03/2016 15:02

Every family is different pottering For some people birthdays are more important, for others it's Christmas. I tend to spend about the same per child for each. And I don't think it's £120 A present, but probably a selection of presents. I don't think it's OTT. You can't get a lot for that now. What will you do when they're older and they want iPhone's and Xbox's n crap?!

EweAreHere · 05/03/2016 15:04

One of my DSs has a birthday this upcoming week. I have practically nothing for him ... and I say 'I' because I am usually left in charge of almost all gift buying and suggestions for every gift giving occasion, including my own! ... and I don't know what to do with him at this point! Parties are a social and political minefield in mid-primary school year groups, and we can't afford to splash out on an expensive party anyway, while tiptoeing around a minefield of an invite list.

I wish we could go away for the weekend which he would love, but because of sporting commitments, we can't even do that! Hmm

PutDownThatLaptop · 05/03/2016 15:14

We are spending £150 this week on DD's birthday party (she is 9).
We have spent £100 on gifts.

Xmasbaby11 · 05/03/2016 15:21

We paid £70 for party but that's only because it was shared with a friend - would have been double otherwise. We spent £100 on presents. I consider that a lot but some were clothes.

formerbabe · 05/03/2016 15:23

Last few parties I've done have cost between £170-£250...at soft play/activity centres. I see it as you are basically paying someone else to deal with the stress and mess!

I spend only about £50 on a present though as if they are having a party, every child brings a gift so they end up with 15+ gifts plus extras from relatives...which is plenty of plastic tat to clutter up my house!

Cococo1 · 05/03/2016 15:27

notime in my dd1's year the coolest kids stopped doing party bags in y4 and started going out to restaurants instead. It was fab! They were quite a sophisticated year group though. Dd2's bunch are still doing them (y4) but I'm hoping this will be the last year.

pointythings · 05/03/2016 15:30

This year we spent more on DD1 (15), less on DD2 (13). It just depends on what they want and whether we can afford it. DD1 wanted cinema for her and 5 friends, plus a meal out, which came to £300 all told. She didn't get a lot of presents though. DD2 just wanted 4 friends for a sleepover plus Domino's for all, so it was a lot less. Other years it's been the other way round.

Neither has had their big present yet, we have yet to go out and buy it - they want a decent compact digital camera each. I'm happy to get them that, it will be useful for school and they are both always using mine keen photographers.

dementedma · 05/03/2016 15:35

So glad to be past the party stage. Older DDS get some presents or money and go out with their mates. Ds goes to the cinema or bowling with a couple of friends. We provide a birthday cake and fizz. Job done. Grin. Yet another advantage of the dcs being older.

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces · 05/03/2016 15:36

Is this a "real" moan or a "shit, things are tighter than I thought and I'm having a quick grumble"?

If he agreed the costs, HIBVU

RandomMess · 05/03/2016 15:37

I think it's very easy to spend that sort of money and not see much for your £ but yes it's partly about what you can afford!

SoConfused15 · 05/03/2016 15:40

The big party stage only lasts a few years thank god. We had an unflashy party for DD age 5 in the church hall, paid for entertainer (money well spent!) and a custom made cake. It was still £250 for 25 kids which seems like a fortune to me! DS asked to go to a posh London restaurant for his 16th which was certainly more enjoyable for me and cost about the same for 5 of us IIRC.

GoodGirlGoneWrong · 05/03/2016 15:44

Dc1 - Birthday party was £120 for soft play a meal party bags included etc cake was £10 on top. Presents were £30. So that's £150.

Dc2 - was about £65 for food (had a party at home) and £35 on presents. Again £10 on a cake.

For X mass all presents etc for the 2 of them came to £101.85.

Could have afforded more but they didn't need any more.

One friends children's party came to nearly 1k that's a lot to me

PurpleCrazyHorse · 05/03/2016 15:44

Parties cost what they cost. If you can afford it, why not?

We had a jewellery making party for DD and it was £100 for the lady to come to our house. No party bags needed as they took home the jewellery they made. I just supplied cake and food. Limited mess, no stress and no party games needed Grin Was a good middle ground between expensive venue hire or doing it all yourself.

Millymollymoo8 · 05/03/2016 15:44

We spend very little on parties, always at Home and we go full out with homemade decorations, cakes, games etc.

No way would I spend hundreds on a 5 year olds party and we are really well off!

Some of the children in our school have very expensive parties ( thousands) huge cakes, catered food, entertainers, face painters, party bags full of expensive stuff.
It's crazy though as the children all love the simple at home parties.

Topseyt · 05/03/2016 16:07

Are party bags now uncool? Wish they had been when mine were of that age.

I hated doing party bags. When I was a child back in the seventies you went home with a slice of cake and perhaps anything you had won on pass the parcel. Nothing else.

fuzzpig · 05/03/2016 16:09

Each to their own. No idea about parties like that as we've not done any for that many children, but I would easily spend that much on DD's presents this year if I could. There are loads of things I'd really love to give her.