is it me or DP?

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Don't want to post too much invade I put myself... But...

Myself and DP have been in LDR for 5 years, until recently and are now looking to buy a house together. Currently, He's living in the nearest big city with his family as its closer for work and I'm with mine where I've always been while I've been waiting for him. We have put an offer on a house today so all very exciting, no problems in our relationship generally.
My AIBU is: DP has suggested that if we get the house (a 1.30 min train commute for him to work) that he stay with his family for a while until he "saves up" for a season ticket, as in his mind we have fees to pay as well as the house to furnish. In my mind, he has a work scheme for season ticket, we have money for fees set aside and family have offered us some furniture and we can furnish as we go along?!!

Please give me your opinions
Ta very much!

I agree with other PP, don't buy a house together if you've never lived together. Try renting first. The difference between a relationship where you live apart and living together can be huge.

So posters have very kindly given you their opinions. Now how about coming back to the thread and engaging with them.

Some more facts would be good.

Where are you buying in relation to where you live and where he lives?

How far is your commute?

Did you mutually agree on the house?

Why is it so far from his workplace?

He sounds less than keen and I can see why.

He's been unreasonable. You've waited long enough. Also you are very brave to buy a house with a man you've never lived with. I wouldn't. Been there done that, so glad we didn't have to sort out a house divide when we split up.

Sorry to everyone I insulted by working full time and having my house offer accepted and going out with my gorgeous DP to celebrate
We have lived together, for about 8-9 months very successfully. We're not silly young fools.
Location chosen very carefully for a number of reasons.
He's not keen on commute no, but it's something he is willing to do for the sake of a better life for our family, plenty of others do it.
Many thanks for the mixed opinions, it seems the jury is out!
We haven't decided what to do yet but DP DEFINITELY CANNOT WAIT, his feet are toasty warm, many thanks for the concern

So... What was your OP about again?

DP DEFINITELY CANNOT WAIT

So what is your thread actually about then...

What a strange 2nd post - changing all the information from the OP

Simple then, move in together and sort the finances out as you go. Staying at his parents to save up for a season ticket sounds like what a 19 yo would do.

I do wish though that people wouldn't moan when an OP takes more than 15 minutes to return to a thread. It's not Eastenders and no one is owed an update at a particular time.

Yes YABU, for making a daft issue out of nothing if judging by your update everything is just toasty and gorgeous. Jesus wept.

Cool. Sounds like everything is just dandy then.

Except he doesn't want to live in the house you've just bought with you

Congratulations on working full time! Amazeballs, innit.

I was the one who gave the op a ticking off for not coming back and I stand by it to some extent. I don't expect an ongoing dialogue, but a simple "thanks for the replies" doesn't go amiss.

In my defence I have a stinking cold and was a bit tetchy when I posted it. Sorry.

And since the op didn't really have a problem and was just posting for the laughs perhaps we should have saved our breath.

(still tetchy)

I think you might find that although your DP is willing to do this commute it will quickly become a different story. 3hrs plus commenting is a really wearing commitment everyday. My DH does it and is tired, weary and grumpy since starting the job a couple of years ago. He regrets his choice and can't find another job easily. I know it isn't what you want to hear or asked but I would reconsider. Your relationship will suffer.
Regarding the moving in I am confused as to how you will save money. Would you be paying all the mortgage with DP saving? I'm not sure how that saves your family unit any money? What am I missing?

Communting obviously not commenting.

Damn it commuting!

Sorry to everyone I insulted by working full time

Do you want a medal or something.....

Tendonqueen it was almost 24 hours though in this case, not 15 mins - it wouldn't occur to me to start a thread and then not reply to it for a day, just manners really.

Waste of everyone's time and effort then

My DH has been commuting for 3 hours a day for two years, and 2+ for about five years before that. He watches films and plays games on his phone. While I'm sure he doesn't enjoy it he definitely doesn't hate it. And no, that's not just my opinion and he isn't crying on the inside over it. Its something that comes up a lot in convo when people say 'Ohh, that must be terrible for you' and he says 'No, not really'.

I hate that he does it though! I'd love him to work close to home.

Hello it's the op again.

Just to say, my DP and I are going to measure up the house on Friday. And he's going to practice doing the commute to and from by staying with me until then. (I live 45 mins from where we are moving to so will drop him at station every morning before work and pick him up when I'm done) if he decides it's totally unmanageable for the four days a week he will have to do it (able to work from home one day a week), we'll pull out of house sale, if not, we'll continue on.
He's talked about getting another job, but we will see he's not very career driven.
Thank you for all your responses I did say thank you in my OP.

I don't understand. Why are you buying a house together that is 1.5 hours away from DPs work?

I don't blame him for not wanting that commute and saying he would rather stick at home a bit longer.

I can't go into details everyone I know uses MN, for financial and family reasons.
DP Is happy to do it now, has totally changed his mind about staying with parents, might stay if he goes out with his friends or one night a week but that's it!!