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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want to go out clubbing on my own AIBU?

54 replies

ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 02/03/2016 20:20

I really want to go out clubbing but I have nobody to go with I've been raising a family for a long time now and I feel a buzz to go out again before it's too late.

Have any other mums been out on there own is it safe to go what kind of things might I expect?? or AIBU and should I just not bother!

OP posts:
CrazyMary · 03/03/2016 00:55

I would never have the courage to go clubbing alone

DiscoGlitter · 03/03/2016 01:04

People saying it's sad to be dancing and clubbing on your own. If it's busy, how the hell do you know if someone is truly by themselves or not?!
For all you know, their dancing partner could have naffed off to the bar or something, or got talking to/dancing with someone else.
I've done clubbing by myself before. Pre kids days when me and DH had just moved in together, in a completely new area, away from friends, and he hates cheesy music/dance shit.
The fact I didn't know anyone wasn't going to put me off going out, I was going to do it anyway.
Beat sitting at home, miserable, wishing I was back in my home town with friends.
I had a great time!

SolidGoldBrass · 03/03/2016 01:27

I used to do this all the time.The only reason I don't do it now is that I am genuinely a bit old to find clubbing fun (am 51). I still go out to social events of other kinds on my own, though.
No one should have to stay at home just because they haven't got A Partner. If you are, for whatever reason, unable to find friends to go to stuff with, you should still go on your own. You might make some friends that way. And even if you don't you will have still enjoyed the thing, whatever it is.

ANd it's a particular thing for women: we are told not to go out alone (without a male owner) because Bad Stuff Might Happen - but the more women who go out on their own, the more we reclaim public space for women.

GarlicShake · 03/03/2016 01:34

I used to do it loads - until my late forties Grin I just wanted to dance! The only pragmatic advice I have to offer is: make sure the staff know who you are. I was rescued a couple of times from overly-persistent blokes.

It's a tad more important to take the safety measures you used to take as a teen, too - mainly, have your taxi fare hidden about your person in cash, in case of emergency. Nothing of mine was ever stolen but at least I'd have been able to get home if it had been.

You'd be surprised how many people do go on their own - all ages and sexes.

GarlicShake · 03/03/2016 01:36

Should have added - this was in central London. Obviously if you're in a smaller place where most people know each other, it's as easy as barrelling up to someone you know and joining in :)

GarlicShake · 03/03/2016 01:37

xposted, SGB. Couldn't agree more.

GarlicShake · 03/03/2016 01:44

I had a fear of flying alone but recentky got on a plane by myself, i felt so grown up

I love to hear things like this. Well done!

MistressDeeCee · 03/03/2016 01:55

OP I go out quite a bit, I've been clubbing on my own a few years back but mostly Im with friends. Im there for the music, and to dance. Unless its a "partners" place, would it really be noticeable if someone is on their own anyway? I find women get talking to other women pretty easily too.

Why dont you join meetup.com? Loads of groups on there, a good number are for people who want clubbing buddies. Groups for 40/50+ too

RosyCat · 03/03/2016 01:57

I've done it. Went to an orbital gig on my own one time and it was brilliant. I think its fine if you go to clubs where it's all about the music and/or gay clubs, rather than your meat market type joint IYSWIM.

That said, if you're in Edinburgh, I'll come with you...

Original poster
ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 03/03/2016 09:50

I'm in the East Midlands I really like dancing, but the music has to be my kind of music (house/trance even happy hardcore!) or I can't get into it so much

There's an event that I was thinking I might go to but I think what worries me most is turning up and finding the place is empty, or there's not enough people to cover up the fact that I'm on my own?

I suppose a few vodkas would help smooth things over a little bit :D

OP posts:
SouthPole · 03/03/2016 10:15

What event? Love that genre of music you mentioned!!

BadDoGooder · 03/03/2016 10:27

If there was a place playing decent music round my way wether rave/club/warehouse party I would tell DP to suck it up and head off on my own!

I am desperate for a good rave up!

Sadly I would have to travel for at least half and hour by train to get somewhere, and I don't think it would work out, as the music in my town is all terrible chart/pop dance type places or cheesy disco type places.
If there was some decent Drum N Bass within 5 miles of me I'b be there like a shot!! Grin

SouthPole · 03/03/2016 10:32

Me too Bad, me too.

Pidapie · 03/03/2016 10:32

I went clubbing on my own when I moved to London (no friends in the UK) and it was great fun :) Don't see why not. Nobody will ask you why you're alone.

ReginaBlitz · 03/03/2016 10:35

Op as you are in the East Midlands did you used to go to passion? If you are into that sort of thing then those clubs you would def get away with it, I used to go with friends etc but spend 90 percent of the night mingling and talking shite to randoms.

BadDoGooder · 03/03/2016 10:39

South it's shit isn't it?
What has happened to music recently?

Is it too much to ask for just a teeny bit of DnB, or even better a teeny bit of Jungle?!
No I don't want to listen to a slightly dancy version of Katie Perry!!

SouthPole · 03/03/2016 10:48

I'm trying to educate the kids in the ways of good music. They like Olly Murs. Ffs.

BadDoGooder · 03/03/2016 11:01

DSD is a huge fan of him, plus any other pop "icon" so I really feel your pain! DS is luckily 3 so has to put up with whatever I want (but his current favourite is ska music, so we might be having an influence!)

Mind you my friend has always said DS is going to end up wearing suits and listening to opera as some sort of rebellion! Grin

whois · 03/03/2016 11:14

If you're happy to go on your own, then do so. There is nothing 'sad' about not having a friend who is free on the exact night and into the exact music you are into!

You actually quite often see people on their own - some have come on their own, others have lost their friends.

If you don't feel comfortable advertising the one-some factor then move around a bit so you're never in one place for too long. If it's the kind of clubs I've been to you'll end up chatting to a nice grip of people and probably make some new clubbing friends.

If you're about the music and club experience kind of person, and not about the tacky getting wasted or out to pull - totally ok to go on your own

tkndnv · 03/03/2016 11:46

I have done in the past when there was a DJ I really wanted to see and no one else could go.

It was OK, but not as fun as with other people. I don't know why that should be though, as most of the time my friends and I just dance and don't really talk to each other.

SolidGoldBrass · 03/03/2016 13:38

Of course, nothing wrong with going out on your own if you are hoping to pull. It usually worked quite well for me .

oldlaundbooth · 03/03/2016 14:08

I wouldn't go clubbing on my own but I'd definitely go to a bar/ pub on my own, especially if I was away on business/in a hotel dreams of night away on own in a hotel

Oldraver · 03/03/2016 20:48

Claudia what is the event. There may be people on here that have heard of it

mellowyellow1 · 03/03/2016 21:16

I'd go on my own, probably would have a few drinks first just to make myself more relaxed! Have met lots of people before on nights out who have lost their friends and ended up having a wicked night with them!

SouthPole · 03/03/2016 21:45

Yes, do tell Claudia!