Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unpaid bar tab AIBU?

76 replies

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 02/03/2016 10:49

This is the first time I have ventured over to AIBU, please be kind Grin

I do a hobby in a large group, and have done for a few years now. I am also involved in the organisation of this group. We meet once a week to do the hobby, and normally have a couple of social events throughout the year. The latest one was this weekend and was a party in a pub. It was good fun, lots of people brought their partners or friends and we all had a nice time.

Throughout the evening I was vaguely aware that some people had a group bar tab going, but I didn't think much of it, and I wasn't involved in any way (I paid for each of my drinks as I ordered them). However towards the end of the night the barman pointed out to me that a lot of people had already gone home, but the tab was still pretty high. I had to do an announcement anyway that the bar was closing so it was last orders, and I also asked everyone to remember to pay off what they owed. A few more people did, but when everyone had gone home there was still £50 odd that hadn't been paid. I paid it, assuming that for most people it would have been an honest mistake and I could ask at our next meeting for those that had forgotten to pay me back.

We have now had our next meeting and no one has come forward. I know it is only £50, and I am not going to starve because of it, but I am not exactly swimming in cash and honestly I am a bit annoyed to lose it.
So would I BU to make a bit more of a fuss? Or should I just chalk it up to experience and let it go?

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 02/03/2016 12:12

Seriously, don't ask for the money back from club funds, state that you will be having it back, as an emergency expense you paid to maintain the goodwill of the venue. It then becomes the responsibility of the club as a whole to track down the culprits to replace the lost funds.

JoBlogs · 02/03/2016 12:13

If a bar allows guests to start a tab then they should take a credit card. The bar has been very naughty here and I think you should give them this feedback.

I would tell your group that you had to pay off £50 of someone's bar tab and that this will be taken from club funds and it will have to be recouped by charging more for the next event.

Please, OP, next time, put in writing to the venue when you book somewhere that no tabs should be set up without a credit card and that you will not personally be responsible for any failure on their part to collect monies owed to them.

I'm actually quite annoyed on your behalf. Need a Brew and a Biscuit to calm down!

GoblinLittleOwl · 02/03/2016 12:14

You were right to pay it on behalf of your club, but you should definitely be reimbursed from club funds, and everyone needs to be notified of this.

I expect it was partners/friends of members who took advantage of the tab, and probably the members themselves aren't aware.

ggirl · 02/03/2016 12:17

I'm also intrigued at which hobby?

maybe a vintage car or vw camper van club

some sort of sport?

stamp collecting

do tell..please !!!

WellTidy · 02/03/2016 12:23

I've had a similar situation. I organized a night out for a group of parents from the school my DS attends. Very informal, a chance to meet up etc - all parents invited, asked to let me know if they were going to attend, so that I could book a table for the right amount of people. Everyone paid me a £5 deposit in advance. There were between 15 and 20 of us.

It is an all you can eat buffet, set price per adult. People ordered drinks at the table (some people did not drink alcohol). I asked for the bill at the end, and all drinks were itemized. I sent the bill round the table, and asked everyone to contribute their share of the bill ie the set price buffet plus the cost of their drinks plus 10% service, less the £5 deposit they'd already paid.

Everyone had cash on them.

The bill went right round the table and came to me last. And the cash put down as against the bill, less my share, was £40. So clearly people had contributed less than their share. I had no idea how to deal with it, as I didn't even know all of the parents. People were getting impatient as they wanted to leave, had to get home for babysitters, catch trains etc. Another lady, who had much more experience of similar events than I did, took control, sent the bill back round, pointed out that (some) people hadn't contributed enough etc. It was fine in the end, but I think if she hadn't been there, I would just have had to pay it.

Lessons learned:
Keep the deposit until the bill is settled, and then return it after the event. Then you have it to fall back on.
Tell people to order their drinks at the bar and pay then and there for them.
Take the full price of the meal, plus service, in advance of the event.

NerrSnerr · 02/03/2016 12:27

I think it's tennis.

I definitely think there should be one more announcement and then you get the money back from club funds.

HandsoffGary · 02/03/2016 12:31

I would make a fuss and bring photocopies of the itemised receipt to the next meeting. Explain that you paid it out of your own money,

Noodledoodledoo · 02/03/2016 12:36

Welltidy I had this with a group of friends one too many times when I would end up being expected to sort the bill as I was driving so not drinking and stump up the additional money as others hadn't paid enough! It was a group of about 30 so tricky to monitor who was having what to help out at the end

I lost the plot once and from that point forward only food was allowed to be ordered at the table as people lost count of the number of beers they had! Anyone who moaned I just told they would be covering the excess at the end!

Again I would say get money from club funds and make sure this is mentioned at the next meeting so those who did it can hopefully feel the guilt!

Narnia72 · 02/03/2016 12:41

Definitely ask for the money from the club funds and get the chair to announce no more tabs unless an individual credit card is put behind the bar to secure.

Really rubbish of your friends. Do you know who was in the group for the tab? Can you have a word and tell them how disappointed you were to be stuck with it and how short it's left you?

WellTidy · 02/03/2016 12:46

Noodle its soooo awkward isn't it. Ironically, the people who haven't paid their share don't feel at all awkward.

Inertia · 02/03/2016 12:55

Definitely get the money from club funds, and then get the treasurer to add it on to the next lot of fees for everybody.

And it is the pub's responsibility to take a card when setting up a tab- you need to make it very clear that the club will not cover future tabs, and it's up to the bar staff to take credit cards or immediate payment only.

Original poster
SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 02/03/2016 12:56

WellTidy That was unbelievably cheeky of them! I think in my case the culprits had already left when I realised what was going on, but to blatantly sit there and try to get away without paying enough is something else!

OP posts:
doughnutslikefannys · 02/03/2016 12:58

£50 is a massive amount of money for me, that would be a week's food shopping for DP and I so not something I'd be willing to let go! Definitely try to find out who opened the tab.

expatinscotland · 02/03/2016 12:59

I wouldn't have paid because I couldn't afford it. But I'd get the money back from group funds. That would leave a really sour taste in my mouth about these people, tbh. That's just fucking mean spirited after it was mentioned.

CommunistLegoBloc · 02/03/2016 13:08

This used to happen during group meals. I always ended up feeling so awkward that I'd chip in the extra cash. I hated it and I never understood if people were just shit at maths or deliberately paying less than their share. I'd honestly rather believe the former - how shit a person do you have to be to let other people cover your costs, knowingly?

Gobbolino6 · 02/03/2016 13:13

I would have paid too, but I'd certainly be making a fuss now.

AugustaFinkNottle · 02/03/2016 13:31

See if you can identify at least some of the people involved in the bar tab, ask them to identify the others, get together with the club committee to say that it is the bar tab group's responsibility to sort it out; if they don't, the club will reimburse you but those individuals will all have raised membership fees next year to cover the expense.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 02/03/2016 13:41

I definitely think there should be one more announcement and then you get the money back from club funds.

Nope. get the money back from the club and then they can announce it every fucking week until it's paid.

Cheeky fuckers

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 02/03/2016 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillBrysonsBeard · 02/03/2016 13:48

Don't let this go OP! £50 is a lot of money and your 'friends' are taking the piss. Unless they were too pissed to remember! But it should come out of the clubs fund if no-one comes forward..

Foslady · 02/03/2016 14:05

If you go there regularly won't the bar staff recognise faces of those on the tab next time you meet up?

Foginthehills · 02/03/2016 14:29

Oh OP you did the right thing, and those who haven't paid are arses. YANBU, they are.

I despair at how awful apparently 'naice' people are, sometimes. It would make me look sideways at my so-called friends afterwards I think.

Original poster
SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 02/03/2016 15:11

We go there maybe 2 or 3 times a year, so I don't think the pub staff would recognise individuals. At first I thought that the club shouldn't pay because it's not their fault either, but actually the people organising the party shouldn't have allowed the tab to be set up. Anyway I will definitely not let this go, and I have learnt a lot for the next time we hold an event!

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 02/03/2016 15:22

People are selfish fuckers.

Years ago I was queuing at a bar after a very big sporting event, Id met a couple of very distant cousins and offered to buy them drinks, then their mates kept coming to me in the 50 person queue and asking me to get x for them. I paid over £80 for that round and not a single person offered me money!

I agree that getting the subs put up by x£ per person so you get £50 back is a good idea. I would have refused to pay and I would have let the non payers deal with the consequences of being chased for it. I would have given names and addresses to the bar staff!

storminabuttercup · 02/03/2016 16:27

You know what? I'd be willing to guess they knew exactly what they were doing. Why set up a tab in the first place? Ok me and DP may do it if we are eating and paying by card but if it was a large group how were they planning on splitting it all out and paying individually? I would make a fuss.