To think dds teacher is wrong?

[stressedmind]

DD has been off school poorly. She has a couple of medical conditions which mean normal viruses floor her. She is past the 48 hour mark so can go back but she is still pale/ legs ache, feeling rough etc. In a realistic world I would keep her off longer however she would never be in if i did that and schools are full on attendance monitoring wise these days.

My issue is the pe teacher is insistent that if a child is in school they are well enough to do PE and will actively ignore notes from home and make them to it.

So dd who is just recovering will be doing outdoor pe in the cold and wet today while already feeling rotten.

Aibu and pfb or is she?

Adults shouldn't be going around "bollocking" other adults - totally weird thing to say.

But

As an ex teacher I am wondering whether this is school policy or the individual teacher's policy.

If it is school policy the PE teacher may be enforcing it reluctantly or may feel ambivalent about not being able to use his or her own discretion to make exceptions - in this case the people wanting to "bollock" or otherwise confront the teacher are way, way out of line and are indeed part of the reason teachers are leaving in droves (not the main part probably - aggressive clueless parents trying to make school policy personal are an irritant and sometimes upsetting but not the worst thing about teaching in the UK school system).

There are a few teachers with rather Petty Dictator type personalities (I can think of a couple from my own career - they tend to make it to middle management partly by bullying more junior colleagues into doing "behind the scenes" work for them and not giving them credit, as well as get a bit of a kick out of bullying as well as some of their students) who maybe could do with a bollocking :o But that really has to come from their line manager, not a parent!

Either way this has to be addressed on the assumption it is a policy - going in politely assuming everything is being done with good intentions but that the people who have made the policy have unintentionally overlooked/ misunderstood or simply been totally unaware of long term / chronic health problems and the need to make exceptions is what will get you somewhere, not trying to "bollock" a teacher!

If she has a medical condition then reasonable adjustments should be made for her to attend school. That should be across the whole school day. It can include not sitting by open windows, not doing PE, toilet pass etc. The school should be doing what they can to allow her to attend when the effects of the illness are due to a medical condition.

If a child has been off with sickness and is otherwise healthy then yes they should return to normal school day of they are well enough.

A child with asthma or diabetes wouldn't be advised to do sport if their condition was unstable at a given time - but there's a massive difference between sitting in a room doing algebra and running around a sports field playing rugby. There's every chance they don't need to stay off school - but they will need adjustments to ensure they don't make themselves iller.

My issue is the pe teacher is insistent that if a child is in school they are well enough to do PE

The PE teacher sounds a bit thick then. I've sent DC into school with a broken wrist, ankle in a cast, damaged ligaments in their knee and after concussion which means they couldn't do any sport for 2 weeks despit appearing completely well.

I would bypass the teacher and speak to the head as it is not the PE teacher's job to decide a child is fit for PE when the parent has said they are not.

Agree with PP, you need to see the HT and have some kind of 'medical needs' guidance drawn up which sets it out for the PE teacher.

I've had multiple pupils over the years who have had ongoing medical issues which meant they were not always able to fully participate in school (chronic asthma, cerebral palsy etc). They had good days and bad days. They were well enough to be in school, but not to be outside/running about. Had they been off school every time they weren't 100%, they'd have missed an awful lot more school.

I'd rather have them in but with restrictions/extra tlc than not have them in at all. It's not unreasonable to ask school to make adjustments when it's an ongoing health issue.

This isn't really an attendance policy issue, it's a made PE teacher issue. I get it that they get tired of kids skiving, but they need to look at individual cases - they need to treat a child who doesn't normally skive, or who is known to have a diagnosed condition, differently from others. I still harbour a grudge against the teacher who made DD do PE with what turned out to be a fractured foot; and because her stupidity aggravated the injury, it meant that in practice DD was off PE for much longer than she need have been.

Sorry, that should have been "It's a mad PE teacher issue."

My son has missed swimming and PE a few times when he has been a bit off. The teacher doesn't even ask for a note. I just tell someone I want him to miss swimming/PE and they say okay. Sometimes I just take him home since they are the last lessons of the day. Most of the teachers are fabulous and know the child is the parents child and not the school property. DS has physical issues and while the teacher didn't initially understand them, it was irrelevant, she accepted what I was saying and watches out for him really well. Would not like to think it is just because we are at an independent school. I think it's about the person.

I'm not sure DD gets the same respect at secondary school. Unfortunately some parents over react about their child which makes it harder when your child genuinely needs a pass and added to a condition the teacher doesn't understand...

Oh no it will be because he's at a private school. If you pay then you can take him out or bring him back as you please. Private schools are not subject to the same requirements.

The PE teacher is wrong and I would go ballistic on the school if my DD was made to do PE when I had sent her in with a note to be excused. She has asthma, we know how to manage it, she misses enough school as it is on account of it, so will go in if she can but may certainly not be able to do PE.

Fortunately this has never been questioned, because I would take it to the top if it was. Children have died at school when thick as mince teachers have thought they knew best about asthma. A PE teacher has no ability to judge a child's health.

OP - be a lioness for your DD and get this sorted.

Point out if forced to be in school and do PE to meet attendance requirements when poorly, she will mostly likely end up with more time off so it will not look good that the school cares more about attendance than the health of the child.

If you pay then you can take him out or bring him back as you please.

This simply isn't true. Certainly not of all independent schools anyway.

Appalling to intimidate a teacher.

I'd normally agree with this 100%, but I'd make an exception for PE teachers! Especially ones that ignore notes from parents of children who have recently been ill.

You need to talk to the school, ask to speak to the SENCO and get something written up about the accommodations your DD needs, which includes not being forced to do PE if she has a note, but also including rest breaks etc. Then when the PE teacher makes her/tries to make her do PE when she is not up to it next time - lodge a formal complaint CCing in the Head, SENCO, Pastoral heads, and maybe SEN Governor.

My youngest went to school for weeks with a cast on her ankle - there was no way she could have done much PE.

As for today - I just would keep her off school, maybe do some work at home if she is up to it.

YANBU they should make allowances given her underlying condition

Yanbu.I would speak to the go next time you arethere then next time you can add that it is 'doctor's orders' .

DD's school had the same rule. It was relaxed for obvious broken bones etc. Then their policy was that the child still had to change for pe and umpire or help out. DD went in with her shoulder strapped from dislocation. They told her she had to change. Then they found her tangled in her top in tears. I had to help her dress all week, because she couldn't physically get her arm in and out of clothes.

I fully sympathise with pe teachers, but this event was beyond my sympathies. Maybe they were testing if her injury was real? I don't know.

Just as an extra thought - will she also be having playtime outside? Running about with her friends or will she sit inside?
Obviously playtime/lunchtime they should have their coats on ( often my ds doesn't)
If you are not happy for her to do PE then speak directly to the headteacher. Or keep her off school until she is better.

My dh used to be a teacher (not PE though!). We are generally very supportive of school, and have two motivated and (now) well behaved children. dd tried her very hardest at PE (as I said she's a perfectionist, wants to get A's in everything) and never skives. The teacher should have listened to her, recognised that she had only just returned to school after illness and accepted our note. Instead he forced her to participate and made her ill.

dh can't help being a big guy. On this occasion he was also angry. dd said he was intimidating mainly because he was being so polite. Should I have gone in to complain instead? Perhaps the teacher would have ignored me, and made dd do PE again when she wasn't well enough. That wouldn't have been a great outcome for us. dd had to be picked up early from school (so missed lessons she was already trying to catch up on) and then spent the next six or so hours in a dark room in a great deal of pain. Frankly I'd do a hell of a lot more to avoid that scenario than making some guy feel under a little bit of pressure for a few minutes.

anyway OP I hope you find a way to support your dd, it's a very frustrating situation to find yourself in. Make your child miss lessons that she needs to catch up, or risk her being forced out into the cold to run around for no good reason.

Hmmm, Nooka well I've never been shaken up by someone having a quiet word with me. You are back tracking. Your post was positively gleeful on the effect your DH had had on the teacher.

Next day he went in to talk to the PE teacher. dd told me later that while dh was very polite the teacher was a bit shaken up, so he obviously got his message across (possibly helped by being a good foot taller than the teacher) and he was much nicer to dd after that.

Thanks everyone. It is actually parents evening tonight so will have a word. We are on the attendance level of doom because she has had three days off poorly since September. Oh and half a day because she left school 55 minutes early for a medical appointment and because they only have one period after lunch she lost a whole half day

The attendance officer is a bit ermm full on

I'm wondering if this is my DDs school. We have parents evening tonight too and once had a very rude letter from the attendance officer. She was hassling for a letter to explain why my DD hadn't been back at school. She had been authorised time off and hadn't been back yet to give the letter in..

You are right I am a bit. Sorry! dh doesn't think he was intimidating. dd thinks he was. I wasn't there. All I really care about is that dd has not subsequently been forced to do PE when she isn't well. Luckily now she never has to do PE again.

The attendance stuff in the UK has got a bit crazy. This year dd has had two very painful ovarian cysts (leading to A&E visits) and two nasty colds as well as two or three migraines. She never skips school, works very hard, always makes up work that she misses and has very high marks (except in PE, although she still managed to get a good B). She has friends who skip school and fail courses, that's where the school focuses their efforts, as they should.

Putting pressure on families with chronically ill children is really really unfair.

No the teacher does not need a bollocking - their line leader needs to talk to them about the school policy and if it is that kids coming into school should do some PE and that's that, then they need to speak to their headteacher about changing the policy so there can be exceptions.

Sorry I don't agree. The teacher is endangering children in their care, they have a duty of care as an individual regardless of the school's policy.

This is dangerous practise, just as it would be forcing a child to jump from a first floor window or drink alcohol. The school wouldn't have a policy on not allowing a teacher to do those things because it is common sense.

A PE teacher should know when something is dangerous and not do it / inflict it on a child.