Parents that let their children "run wild" indoors in a public confined space are uncouth

[feellikeahugefailure]

So watching swimming lessons (again...) on a mezzanine floor with other parents. Some have brought their other children along and let them run around the place, up and down on a wooden floor that reverberates throughout the whole pool room making a lot of noise. Some even run into me, no apology from either the child or the parent and the parent says nothing to them.

They are uncouth right?

I was tempted to spit in her food

Why didn't you?

YANBU they do it where we go swimming too. The yummy mummies sit and ignore their little darlings howling the place down and running flat out among the chairs and stands. When the staff intervene it's all very huffy from the mums.

I used to work in a big London museum and the amount of parents who basically treated it as a free creche was staggering. We had to ask parents to put scooters in the cloakroom because otherwise kids would be scooting all over the place and banging into the free-standing exhibits.
I mean, really?! Do people seriously think that scooting in a crowded public place like a museum is acceptable????

"We're bringing him up to be a free spirit."

"No, you're not. You're allowing him to be a pain in the backside to everyone else in the room."

Actual conversation overheard

I hate it too, sadly there are parents everywhere raising their free range children. Wonder who they will blame when they get hot food/drink spilt on them.

as long as its not dangerous, im happy for kids to be enjoying themselves

running around in a sports centre? well i never

They are monumentally inconsiderate and bringing up their children to be the same.

My friend brought her 2 year old out to lunch in a quiet restaurant. The child squealed almost non-stop (and picked all the petals off the gerbera on the table). After a while and with other diners giving us daggers, I said to her, 'oh my goodness, you need to stop squealing!' and my friend, affronted, said, 'that's what children do!'

Er, no.

Is there maybe a slight difference, though, between the cafes and museums mentioned by all of the responders and the OP's example of the swimming pool waiting area during lessons time? At the pool one can assume that all of the other people in the room are also parents who are just trying to get through the afternoon and likely understand how hard it is to deal with a younger child in that situation. That seems pretty different to a cafe or museum where people from the general public have come for the purpose of enjoying a meal or an exhibit.

I'm sure now you will all accuse me of letting my kids run wild -- the truth is I set a very high standard for my kids at restaurants, shops, and other public places, but I admit that I might slightly relax those rules in a waiting room for a kids' activity. There are degrees, of course, and I would never allow my child to bump into anyone, scream loudly, or do anything dangerous.

I've never been called uncouth before but I guess there's a first time for everything.

This is a pet hate of mine. Part of being a parent is teaching your children about appropriate behavior in different situations. There are plenty of parks, soft play etc where children can run and scream to their heart's content. It's not fair on the kids either, because when they go to school they will miss out on learning, and the teacher will constantly be having to pull them up on behaviour.

I honestly very rarely see children running riot in cafes, restaurants etc.

I've been a TA for years and in my experience the vast majority of children can sit still when required. No specific change in recent years that I've noticed.

Very uncouth. Had this on Saturday when I went to a cafe for a quiet cuppa before an appointment. A group of Mums were in the rear part of the cafe and their four toddler-age darlings were charging from back to the front counter area, screaming and yelling at the tops of their voices while the mums just carried on chatting.

I have to say I told them to stop screaming in a loud voice but it was water off a duck's back. The danger of toddlers around hot drinks being served was bad enough, but the disturbance to all the customers, just unbelievable.

I went to Ikea on a mid-week morning thinking it would be quiet.

It was like a bloody zoo with children swinging off the furniture and generally running round unsupervised.

I then popped into a supermarket to find a child marauding IN the freezer and the parent finding it hilarious.

But then my idea of child proofing is tying the child to a chair, so I am definitely the wrong person to ask.

It can be very annoying/dangerous in a sports centre though- I had this the other week with my DD's (preschool) swimming lessons. It was half term so some older siblings had been dragged along.

There were 2 that spent the whole half an hour charging up and down past the seats, climbing on the barrier, and going in/out of the viewing area repeatedly. Bear in mind the set up is that there is a single row of chairs and a waist high barrier between the seats and the pool. The barrier is close enough to the chairs that I could stretch my feet out and touch the barrier if I wanted and to allow someone to pass you have to tuck your feet under.

There were other, younger children that were sitting nicely, watching the swimming, chatting, some had brought along things for the children to do. If all of the children had been allowed to run like these 2 (as my niece wanted to) then there would undoubtedly have been an accident.

Add to that, the barrier was making a very irritating banging noise as the children climbing along it, it was disturbing me, so must have been putting off the children in the pool too!

It's a sports centre, as well as the sports facilities there's a cafe just outside of the pool area, and a outside play area too, if the children really couldn't sit still for whatever reason, there were more appropriate areas for them to go to. Or they could just not go to swimming lessons while it's half term?

This thread is awful!! Such hatred!

And I'm not someone who let's my kids run free either (though frankly in a sports centre you could fuck right off). But, really, 'if you can't control it don't bring it out' and tying children to chairs? On mumsnet? Really?!

My inlaws breezily keep telling me that my three year old "does about ten laps of Starbucks" when they take her in there. She is never allowed to run around in cafes/restaurants when she is with us. It pisses me off that they think it's ok and don't make her sit down

plantsitter we must be reading different threads - I see no ´hatred´ just exasperation tbh.

Plant, there is no hatred, not of the children anyway. There is plenty of pissed off-ness about the parents who can't be arsed to parent their children though. The kids behave how they are allowed to.

I can see both sides of this debate: I have in the past had to take toddlers to older children's activities and it is hard to keep them entertained/quiet/physically still. But - there is not need for them being a nuisance to everybody around them and I like to think that a combination of snacks/books/mummy's phone etc kept the disruption to an acceptable level.

We recently had a 8 yo ride his fecking bike along a long corridor at work - NOT acceptable in a doctor's surgery in my and every other witnesses' opinion. But his mother put a complain in when he was asked to stop…

I think the tying children to chairs comment was slightly tongue in cheek.

Here's the hatred I can see. Hatred of kids and mums.
I hate all parents who allow their children to wander round cafes, restaurants, run arund supermarket isles etc. If you can't control it don't bring it out!

The yummy mummies sit and ignore their little darlings howling the place down and running flat out among the chairs and stands.

But then my idea of child proofing is tying the child to a chair, so I am definitely the wrong person to ask.

Like bloody Daily Mail Bingo it is. OF COURSE you should control your children to an extent but there is really no need for children to be made to sit absolutely still and silent in case someone should be offended by their existence, nor for them to be tied to a chair, nor referred to as 'it'.

Oh whatever. Just carry on as you were going on about how over-entitled yummy mummies are about little Johnny etc etc.

No one expects children to sit in silence, unless it's a place where that is the expected behaviour.

But most people do expect children not to be indulged and allowed to run riot, especially when it could potentially be dangerous, like in a restaurant.

Absolutely no hatred of children. I love watching children running, climbing, exploring, expressing themselves. That goes for my own DC'S and all the ones I've taught over the years.

I feel very, very sorry for children whose parents are so disengaged/can't be arsed parenting that they are being brought up with no concept of appropriate behaviour in public places, or that they are not the centre of the entire universe. They find it very hard in school, or indeed later in life when parents suddenly realise that a 'free spirit' teenager with no boundaries is going to get into trouble. It's generally too little too late.

Tuesday night is swim club night for the DCs here. Generally they're pretty well-behaved and know not to be foolish around the pools. They swim at the same time and tonight DH made it home in time to come with us. I took the little one, he took the big one, everyone was fine til DS2 (5) sprinted across the wet changing-room floor and slipped over into a bin. I'm shite at sympathy at the best of times, but when it is self-inflicted you can sing for it so I sent him on his way.

Two minutes later he was waiting by his swim teacher and decided to jump straight into the pool without her having said it was ok. She fished him out and gave him the bollocking of a lifetime. He looked at me and I shook my head and said "she's absolutely right, and if you do that ever again I'll ban you from swim club myself". His teacher apologised at the end of the lesson for having raised her voice at him, but in a situation like that she has to have complete obedience from them or they're at risk. I fully understand that young children can be silly and impatient and impulsive; mine are incredibly silly. But that's not an excuse to allow dangerous behaviour, and parents can sometimes forget that.