The benefit of AD side effects is that if you try one and it doesn't work for you, you can discontinue the med and the effect will go away. My DS was started on a SSRI and had the specific side effect we were most warned about (symptoms worsened, and he really went into a downward spiral). Once we figured out what was causing his deterioration, thanks to my astute niece, the med was discontinued and he returned to baseline within days. Now, he is on an AD/anti-anxiety med combo that is finally bringing him back to us - but the meds don't work overnight. I'd say it took 2-3 months to get dosages and meds right. Between the medication and therapy, we are beginning to see the amazing young man he is again.
I am on the other side of the coin... I would love to be able to access CBT but where I live (Ontario, Canada) it isn't covered under the provincial health care and is out of my reach financially. Forthunately, care for teens and young adults is a priority, so DS hasnt fallen into the same crack. I am trying to find a sliding scale service, so I can add my name to the wait list.
It is so difficult to face these demons - feelings you don't understand and can't control - but you are doing a fantastic job. Don't sell yourself short, this has been your reality for years but you are still fighting to make life better for yourself and your family. Your DH is right, your GP may well be able to help, good on you for taking the tough step to confide in DH and talk to your GP.
And, during dark times, there are no shortage of Mumsnetters who have walked this road who can hold your hand and help you walk it too. You aren't alone - please, never forget that.