To look into having a baby without a partner?

[spottydresshighheels]

As in using anonymous sperm donation, I wasn't sure parenthood was for me but now I think it is and scared I will miss my chance (just turned 36.)

Sorry Spotty I didn't mean to appear patronising

I actually really admire parents who do it alone but I personally would not choose to embark on parenthood without a partner as the responsibility it so huge

Don't worry :)

I have plenty of friends but I'm lacking on the family side

I have done so.

I would advocate it but without family support its expensive or knackering.

I think that as long as you don't rely on government initiatives that may no longer exist, you'll be fine. You've a support network of friends. You've thought it through. Put as much rainy day money aside as you can.

There's no problem being single at baby groups. They're often massively cliquey, yes, but that's nothing to do with the marital status of the participants, it's just the weird nature of baby groups! Hopefully, you'll know what I mean one day :-)

It's bloody hard on your own that's for sure but I think the benefits far outweigh the difficulties. If you are 100% sure this is what you want then go for it but be mindful of the issues of being a single parent which have already been highlighted by PP's. I wont lie.... there were many days when I just wanted to get in the car and never come back but it certainly gets easier from a practical perspective as they get older. If I had the option I would have preferred to have had a partner but hindsight is a wonderful thing. The regrets you might feel if you don't go for it could be with you the rest of your life. That said, you might want to thick very carefully about the future emotional/psychological implications for your child of using a sperm donor.

I have an open mind about these things.

If you can financially support yourself and baby?
would your family and friends be supportive?
Are 100% sure you want a baby? It is a massive commitment

When you say sperm donor do you mean from a clinic? Do they now keep fathers details for if the child wishes to know when they are adults?

What will you tell the child when it asks about his dad?

Baby groups wouldn't be a problem, as all the ones I've been too only 1 parent has been with the child anyway.

I raised my DS from birth without any support from his dad, it was hard but not horrendous and totally manageable. And I wasn't always financially secure tbh, but we got through it.

I do have lots of family around though - grandparents with time on their hands, and sisters who worked p/t or were sahms so could help swap childcare. I moved to be closer to them when I was pg so that could be worth doing if you don't have family support locally.

YANBU at all. A good friend of mine did it after her partner dumped her - she was 37. She has two DCs and is a wonderful mother. She has a strong network of friends around her and her DCs are thriving. whatever decision you make.

YANBU

I had the most supportive amazing DH

Then shit happened

I may as well have used a sperm donor,

Anything can happen. If you want DC and have a way your comfortable with yourself to make that happen - go for it

YANBU at all. You might want to get in touch with the Donor Conception Network to get support and meet others in similar situations.

Thank you for your replies, I'm so pleased they have been positive

My take, as an anonymous contributor on a website, and I can only write what would be right for me, obv) is that a) sperm from a donor I know, fine, no probs. Very few of my mates have the bio. Father around, and that seems to be a norm round hereThe child will know of their rels, even if the rels don't actually have anything to do with them now, so there will be some sense of family traits

My big reservation is just not knowing any family history at all, be it of a medical or psychological condition.

There again, I know nothing of donor screening in the uk , just that that would worry me somewhat.

I am 41 and have a 9mo dd with my dp. I considered doing this at your age and decided against as I would have no/limited family support. I made that decision whilst single and watching both my sisters go through divorce and seeing first hand just how punishing looking after kids on your own can be. I lucked out met dp not long after. I love being a mum, but I still think going alone without substantial family support would not be for me and I have an easy baby.

Waves!

My DS is .... We are very happy