To absolutely hate to be touched by strangers?

[CinnamonBunYou]

I work in retail and often get people placing their hands on me when asking me something and sometimes it doesn't bother me but most of the time it totally freaks me out. I have to go to the toilet and wash myself and then can feel their hand on me for the rest of the day and it makes me shudder! I have actually thrown up before or I end up gipping! I know my reaction is extreme but I can't help it.

It's mostly older men that bother me and they're not doing it in a pervy way, it's just a hand on the shoulder or a tap but I can't stand it. I always withdraw from them in disgust and distort my body so they can't touch me again and I realise it seems rude but it's a natural reflex and I don't do it on purpose. I spend the rest if the day feeling tense and flinch/cringe when people come near me.

My colleagues joke and take the piss about it and call me a weirdo when it happens. They say they don't particularly like when people do it to them but they just shrug it off and that I over react.

Are other people as funny about this as I am or am I a complete loon?

No you're not being unreasonable at all. People sometimes need to observe personal space, and touching a staff member in a shop, even a tap on the shoulder when the words "excuse me" will suffice, is not really acceptable. IMO.

an old bloke asked me for something and he was so happy I found it for him that he hugged me and really gripped me tight and I had to actually push him off me. He even went into give me a kiss on the cheek which I think is a weird thing to do to a stranger anyway

Totally inappropriate and thoroughly disgusting

Isn't this a prime example of women just being expected to excuse pervy behaviour from men. Not acceptable at all

I don't like it either. One of my colleagues is a real pain in the arse for this - he can't speak to a single person without tapping them on the arm first, and he is contactly pointing at people. He doesn't mean it in a bad way at all, but it is very irritating and it drives me up the wall.

I hate it too but clearly you have a very good reason and it's understandable. I don't think it's acceptable and have no idea why some people think it's ok to touch people actively or passively unless it's necessary. I know some people use it to emotionally connect but I find it a tad aggressive unless you know them well. Apart from in relationships and with my kids I don't really do hugging, I find it awkward and unnatural. I would try to get that referral to the psychologist however, it may really help and you can ask to tread carefully around your past abuse, you don't need to go into details to resolve these issues and make it more manageable.

I hate strangers touching me too - I don't have such an extreme reaction but I do dislike it intensely.

If you've been abused I think your reaction is understandable- however if the reaction itself is causing you distress, then perhaps you would benefit from therapy to process and desensitise?

Your colleagues are twats, by the way.

YANBU.

And I don't think anyone has to give a reason for disliking others invading their personal space.

I sometimes visibly flinch when someone touches me, as do many people who don't like being touched. Add to this the trauma in your past and it's not even a little bit strange that you feel this way!

The customers who hug you are being very unreasonable, on the other hand. That's not normal.

My advice: Practice your bitchy resting face and use it when you see some old guy approaching.

Hello,

Not wanting to be touched by strangers is perfectly normal, many people don't like it. When the distaste causes a physical reaction, it could well be Haphephobia. Don't worry what other people say, you're right to set your own boundaries.

Someone putting an arm round a shop worker is strange thing to do. Invading someone's personal space to that extent is weird.

Just noticed this thread is donkeys old.