Dsis too old to need a babysitter?

[GummyBunting]

This is part aibu, part wwyd?

My sister is 14. I babysit her sometimes, and as much as I enjoy spending time with her, isn't 14 a bit old?

Also, a few weeks ago I met her and my dad in a pub, and my dad asked me to take her to the toilet, as her mum won't let her go on her own.

I should point out that we have the same dad, but different mums.

Part of me thinks that if it's working for them, there's no harm. But she is smart and sensible, and it seems insane that a 14 year old requires a chaperone to the loo, or can't be left alone for 3 hours in the evening.

Would you say anything? Do you think her mum has anxiety issues? Will this affect her development?

I used to babysit younger children when I was 14. And my 5 and 7 year olds happily take themselves to the toilet (including in public places). What you described seems bizarre unless your sister has special needs.

How long were the parents out for in the evening?

I think for early evening, she should be fine by herself. However, if late (after 9pm?), then the parents may feel happier with someone else in the house. Not so much babysitting, more companionship, especially if there are no neighbours she could go to in an emergency.

I was babysitting for other children aged 13! Is the girl perhaps very nervou/anxious or has a phobia not known/obvious op?

We still have a babysitter for our two DDs aged 14 and 12. I happily leave them in the day but don't feel comfortable leaving them alone after 9pm. They have been going to the loo in their own in public places for years.

Mixed feelings from me, I have a babysitter for my 14 year old, because I know I would not be able to relax on the night out, without the knowledge she was being supervised by a adult.She does go to public toilets on her own, but in a way I can understand your Dads concerns. We live in a city where sex crimes are at their highest level in decades, you only have to read the local paper to see shocking, horrendous sexually based crimes.Any public space from swimming pools to bus stations and department store toilets seem to attract freaks and make sad, depressing reading. So I can see where he is coming from, but I also believe that kids still need freedom of movement and must be encouraged to confidently move around freely.They should be aware of their safety but not scared of their own shadow.its so difficult reaching the right balance between guiding and protecting versus suffocating.

There may be some history you are unaware of.wwyd? Nothing! Noyb!

Depends where they live and the sort of pub. DD was fine at 14 because we lived in a safe road with good neighbours and she was happy and secure in our house.

Last night I collected her from a main station in London and was very worried when she was late because there were small groups of drunks around. She is 17 now and it made me feel very uneasy.

Not allowing a 14 year old to go to the loo solo is absolutely, positively bonkers.

I have a 13 year old, he stays at home alone if we go out locally/return home before he goes to bed (so, 10.30 or so). I tend not to get sitters anymore unless we have a big night planned.

I think not leaving a 14yo after school is daft. I was walking to/from the school bus at 11 and letting myself in to an empty house for 3+ hours at that age.

Yanbu at all. That sounds crazy because your dais isn't being given any of the normal opportunities to develop her own independence.

Dd has a friend whose mother is similarly over protective. Her dd is beginning to take on her mother's considerable anxieties which really makes it hard for her to have a normal social life with other young teens.