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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate talking on the phone when im at home

19 replies

MrsSeanBeanIsAtWork · 25/02/2016 12:56

I feel like it's an invasion of my private space.

If I am expecting a call / call back, then I will answer, but otherwise I let it go to voicemail. I also keep my personal mobile on silent.

People sometimes then say thinks like 'Blimey you're hard to get hold of' - but it's not like they are contacting me about anything urgent. It's just that I didn't text them back within 5 seconds.

I prefer to check my personal phone periodically at a time which suits me and deal with messages / missed calls then. Possibly IABU, as I might miss an emergency. But I make a point of giving all emergency contacts DH's details as the primary number as he and his phone are one answers straight away.

(I do of course answer the phone when at work!)

PS as I am at work I might not be able to check back until later as I now actually have to go and do some work.

OP posts:
Insomniastrikesagain · 25/02/2016 13:00

I am exactly the same as you! I so much prefer a face to face chat than on the phone, much more natural. I had my mobile usage breakdown for the month and my outgoing call minutes was something ridiculous like 20 mins for the whole month!

shamonts · 25/02/2016 13:00

i am the same.

I like and reply to texts and emails.

I absolutely hate talking on the phone, even to dh, I just want the facts then they can go Grin

shamonts · 25/02/2016 13:01

yes, forgot to say I will face to face chat for England!

I don't think I can hear properly when talking on the phone.

Thurlow · 25/02/2016 13:02

A bit, though it seems like there are 2 parts to your complaint.

One, no, it's not unreasonable at all to respond to messages when you have the time to deal with them.

But I don't see how it is an invasion of your privacy if someone wants to talk to you? Generally when you call someone, you're probably thinking that you fancy having a chat or asking them a question, not wondering how best to invade their privacy. Honestly don't get what you mean by that.

allnewredfairy · 25/02/2016 13:02

YANBU. As with the doorbell which I only answer to people I am expecting, I am firmly of the opinion that my phone is there for my convenience and not other people's.

Collaborate · 25/02/2016 13:27

YABU. You should warn people that you're so phone-anti-social, to give them the option of reciprocating and not taking your calls. How can you expect them to answer the phone to you?

Thurlow · 25/02/2016 14:01

That's a good point. If they think the same thing, and refuse to answer their phone unless it is a time that is 100% convenient for you, then no one is ever going to talk to anyone.

EponasWildDaughter · 25/02/2016 14:10

I feel the same OP.

If i don't answer my house phone to family or friends they will just text. Then i'll text back when i can, or ring them.

The trouble is here that we have a couple of older members of the family who WILL NOT text. They will only ring the house phone.

This feels like ''answer me now!''. A bit of an invasion when you're busy.

I think these days people are less inclined to be available to talk at the sound of a bell when they are at home. Texts and emails are so much more relaxed, ''Answer me when you're ready''.

jellycat1 · 25/02/2016 14:17

I'm exactly the same!! Ugh - I hate it when my phone rings. I have to speak to people all day when at work and when at home there's always child related stuff and other stuff to do so when I'm relaxing I'm relaxing! There are very few people who I want to talk to! So much prefer to receive a text and be able to chat at a mutually agreed time if need be. Having said all that, we are probably both being unreasonable!! My mum calls all the time to chat about nothing in particular and it's usually not a good time, but when it is a good time (i.e. nothing else pressing and kids not around) I just want to read or watch something mindless on tv not have to chat when we've probably only seen each other a few days before - (and we email and text chat daily!) - but i feel really guilt and I know I'll regret this one day, probably when she's no longer here. Confused

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2016 14:20

I'm the same!

I can use the phone fine at work but absolutely hate it at home.

It really disproportionately annoys me when someone replies to my e-mail with a phonecall!

EponasWildDaughter · 25/02/2016 14:25

Ha ha santas, yes!

On one of the occasions when i was trying to pursued my mum to get her mobile phone out of the bread bin (! i know) turn it on and text me instead of ringing the house, ringing the mobile, ringing the house, ringing the mobile to tell me something mundane i didn't need to respond to right away, she thought for a bit and said (genuinely) 'oh, i suppose i could text: ''Ring me now'' ...

Yes, i suppose you could. Arrgggghh.

Grin
MrsSeanBeanIsAtWork · 25/02/2016 16:29

Collaborate - i never call anyone Grin. I text or email them.

OP posts:
NotQuitePerfect · 25/02/2016 16:43

Yes yes yes!!!

I haven't answered the house phone for about a year now. Nothing dreadful has happened. If anybody really wanted to get hold of me they would ring my mobile or text me. I LOATHE phone chit-chat. I don't know why Confused

SnobblyBobbly · 25/02/2016 17:35

Same. I got rid of our house phone and now I can ignore/screen calls to my hearts content.

cardibach · 25/02/2016 17:40

I really don't get the unsociability of many on MN. I like droppers-in and phone calls, because I actually like my friends and (most of) my family. Why wouldn't o want to see/talk too them? If I'm busy, I'll say do. No big deal.

malloo · 25/02/2016 17:47

YANBU, I feel exactly the same. I'm rubbish on the phone, I'm very glad to live in the age of texts and emails. I like speaking to people face to face, just not on the phone. I very rarely answer my home phone now I have caller ID. Like a pp said, if I have some free time, I want to relax, not try and think up stuff to say on the phone which is stressful. It's an introvert thing maybe?

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 25/02/2016 18:41

I agree completely! I hate talking on the phone, and also don't like being summoned by a ringing bell (door or phone). Just think it's weird. All hail the email!

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 25/02/2016 18:42

YY malloo, introvert here too Grin

PitilessYank · 25/02/2016 19:11

I am an extrovert and I also hate chatting on the phone. I prefer texting or in person talks.

I can't hear that well on the phone, can't read people's expressions like in person , nor can I take a minute to compose an answer like via text. Also, timing is an issue so we often end up talking over each other.

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