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AIBU?

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To be irritated by this Facebook post?

251 replies

MattDillonsPants · 24/02/2016 06:50

I think it's an actual poem but not certain....either way it's frigging stupid. We all, as adults have to take responsibility for ourselves. This post seems to suggest that being an eternal backpacker is a good idea!

I don't think so and I suspect it was written by someone in their late 20s who still has the energy to "bathe in bio-luminescence and lie in a dirt road staring at the moon"

FFS. Hmm

I will never be a well behaved woman.

I would rather pass my days lying in the middle of dirt roads, staring at the full moon with a bottle of summer red in my palms.

I would rather have kids when it suits me, not when society expects or throws shoulds.

I would rather live in a hammock on a beach for six months, and write like my soul means it.

I would rather be horribly broke at times, than married to a job because a mortgage payment has my ass on a hook.

I would rather own moments, than investments.

I would rather eat alone, than sit with women who bore me at 'Wives’ Night.”

I would rather swim naked with bioluminescence, have it fall like fireflies from my hair, my breasts, my back.

I would rather do handstands naked in the moonlight when no one’s watching than pick bridesmaid dresses.

I would rather drink seven year old rum from a sandy bottle, smell of smoke and ash than sit in church.

I would rather learn from life than rack up debt, in a desk.

I would rather drink the ocean, again and again—celebrate being madly alive.

I would rather my love be defined by love itself, and nothing more or less.

I don’t need a ring on my finger to prove that I am in love.

I would rather take the chicken bus, than spend useless money in safe gated communities. Sit beside a goat, listen to raggaeton and eat green mango with sugar in a plastic bag sold from the woman who harasses the bus each time it stops.

I do not need a degree to prove that I am intelligent.

I do not need to own a piece of earth with some wood on top of it—to feel successful. No one truly owns the land, anyway—we just think we do.

My savings account has diddly to do with my richness.
I would rather sprawl my single ass out like a lioness each morning and enjoy each corner of my empty bed.

I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day.

I will not work and work and work to live when my body is old and I am tired.

Stocks are for people who get boners from money.

Not everyone should have kids, and my eggs aren’t expiring.

I will not drink the societal Kool-Aid on a bus, nor will I drink it on a train.
Not on a plane, with a goat, in the rain, in the dark, in a tree, with a fox, in a box!

I will not jump through societies’ hoops and red tape, the treasure hunt in the rat race we chase.

If we must have milestones—mine will be measured by how much joy I have collected at the end of each day and how often in this life I have truly, deeply, opened.

Seek, see, love, do.

OP posts:
OohMavis · 24/02/2016 07:51

I would rather lie in the crystalline waves cresting the calm, peaceful shore while raindrops bead my eyelashes and snowflakes frost my hair and grains of sand tickle my leg hairs, while I sing songs that nobody else has heard of because they're too busy having sexual intercourse with money to know what reel moosik is.

Then I'd rather post about it on Facebook with a badly written poem, to show everyone how little I care about modern life and how I have NO intention of drinking their social media koolaid.

scarlets · 24/02/2016 07:55

It sounds like a sixth former wrote it. Full of naïveté and entitlement, with a bit of sneer thrown in. The writer is probably an unbearable bore.

headinhands · 24/02/2016 07:56

I'm guessing everyone who posts that is being a hypocrite. For starters, they have Facebook and the technology to access it so I very much doubt they're running naked through a pineapple plantation in Barbados. If they're so different and unusual they wouldn't be sharing that brain bilge on social media.

dangerrabbit · 24/02/2016 07:57

I nominate this poem to be the trustafarian national anthem.

MrsHathaway · 24/02/2016 08:06

I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day.

I will not work and work and work to live when my body is old and I am tired.

I find it ironic that these two statements are together. Surely they are incompatible. Even an Instagram sleb has a shelf life, and if she's spending all her money on travel/wine/yoga classes she won't have much of a nest egg.

The Pocahontas-style "nobody actually owns land, guys" is facile and the law reflects it. You own rights over land, not the land itself.

Canshopwillshop · 24/02/2016 08:06

Dream on ...

PaulAnkaTheDog · 24/02/2016 08:09

It's not my kind of thing but I certainly wouldn't say it's 'selfish' like someone has said. Hmm

acasualobserver · 24/02/2016 08:11

Seek, see, love, do ... fuck off dear. 2/10. Must try harder.

ManneryTowers · 24/02/2016 08:14

...."then when I am old and decrepit I will come back and expect care from the NHS having not paid a penny towards it...."

Let's hope they've stocked up on bioluminescent bed bath water by then.

MattDillonsPants · 24/02/2016 08:19

Mannery and that the canteen serves green mango with sugar.

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 24/02/2016 08:21

God. She's a lifestyle coach. And she's lecturing other people on how futile their lives are.

Because, of course, she has it all sorted. All those doctors and nurses and teachers and farmers and aid workers are just wasting their lives doing something meaningless that can't possibly be as valuable to the world as a lifestyle coach.

sootica · 24/02/2016 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToffeeForEveryone · 24/02/2016 08:28

Complete self-absorbed twattery.

It's all a bit "look at me! I'm so special and unique and interesting!" Her instagram is just 100s of pictures of herself posing scantily clad on a beach. And one laughable photo where she's wearing a "Feminist" t-shirt.

It all screams judgement of others, how other people choose to live their lives - esp this bit: "I would rather eat alone, than sit with women who bore me at 'Wives’ Night.” There's nothing in there about community, or sharing, or bonding with others, or compassion, or commitment, or any of the other positive traits that generally come along with finally growing up and realising there is more to life than thinking about yourself all the time.

I would rather eat alone than be stuck at a dinner party beside a permanent adolescent who sanctimoniously promotes navel gazing as a way of life.

BlueMoonRising · 24/02/2016 08:28

Maybe it is a bit insufferable, twee, immature etc -

BUT - it's clearly a snapshot in someone's life. It isn't about this is how they will live their life forever. It is how they see themselves living their life forever, in their naivety.

And there will be a swathe of teens and twenty-somethings that will 'get it' and think there is someone out there that understands them.

I am 44, and can relate to some of it still.

Hercule · 24/02/2016 08:29

"you can't really get by in life eating green mangoes on chicken buses with luminous boobs forever"

Love this - must get it printed on a T-shirt

BillSykesDog · 24/02/2016 08:39

I thought I was swimming naked with bioluminescence once. Turned out I'd just pissed in the bath after too many froot shoots.

Skiptonlass · 24/02/2016 08:42

It's excruciatingly badly written.

Is she a Vogon with a trust fund?

Furiosa · 24/02/2016 08:47

self-absorbed twattery Grin

Well I think it's absolute hysterical, it's really cheered me up this morning!

I'm laughing at "slabs of my heart" thing as well. Slabs, slabs, slabs. What an odd word to use. It's ugly. Maybe "pieces" was too conformist.

Furiosa · 24/02/2016 08:48

Is she a Vogon with a trust fund?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 24/02/2016 08:49

I will Never be a Pretentious Women

I would rather pass my days not passing judgement on other people's lives

I did have kids when I wanted them not when someone passed judgement on me for my life choices

I would rather be pay my way in the world doing a job I love - oh yeah, I do. Being financially independent is priceless

I would rather own my own ideas, than psycho babble platitudes.

I often eat alone, and have never heard of 'Wives’ Night.” and wouldn't have anything to do with anyone who suggested such a naff evening

I'm not sure I like the sound of bioluminescence, but I think Persil do a washing powder with it in.

I'd rather not do handstands naked in the moonlight thanks. Not with my knees.

I would rather drink a really decent red from a beautiful glass and smell of Chanel number 5 than sit in church.

I would rather learn from life than some random women's instagram witterings.

I's rather not drink the ocean thanks. Quite apart from the terrible thirst, I'd be up and down all night needing a wee

I would rather my love be defined by love itself, and nothing more or less. Or rather I guess I would if I knew what the hell that meant

I don’t need a ring on my finger to prove that I am in love. But a big diamond is always appreciated

I would rather not it beside a goat, as their funny eyes creep me out a bit and it might eat my hair. I'd prefer to listen to some 70s Roxy music and eat some Walkers crisps because frankly the women who harrasses the bus sound a bit scary and I'm not sure she's got a hygiene certificate.

I do not need a degree to prove that I am intelligent. But I've got one anyway because education is a marvellous thing and broadens the mind as much as travel.

I do not need to own a piece of earth with some wood on top of it since I don't have a wood burner though I'd very much like one.

My savings account has diddly to do with my richness. Except I strongly suspect I don't mean richness there. That means something else doesn't it? I refer you to my decent red above.

I would rather sprawl my single ass out like a lioness each morning and enjoy each corner of my empty bed because my ass is large enough to reach every corner of my bed.

I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day. Which is precisely what I have done and don't need some prissy teenager who thinks she knows it all because shes been to Jamaica telling me I'm a wage slave

my body is old and I am tired.

Instagram posts like this are for people who get boners from pretension.

Not everyone should have kids, and my eggs aren’t expiring. Though I do have some cheese at the back of the fridge that looks a bit dodgy

I will not drink the societal Kool-Aid on a bus, nor will I drink it on a train.
Not on a plane, with a goat, in the rain, in the dark, in a tree, with a fox, in a box! Because I hate cool-aid, I get travel sick and Dr Seuss is overrated

I will not jump through societies’ hoops and red tape, the treasure hunt in the rat race we chase. Because I'm not fond of internal rhymes.

I don't know if I have ever truly, deeply, opened. But it sounds painful. And messy. And I'm out of kitchen roll.

merseyside · 24/02/2016 08:51

It's just someone justifying their life choices by pissing over other peoples' isn't it?

Actually, my life wasn't too different to that in my 20s but I didn't think I was better than everyone else plus we all have to grow up sometime

If you are the sort of person to take hippie shit like that too seriously then I'm likely to think you're a bit of a twat tbh.

BillSykesDog · 24/02/2016 08:52

Bit your version is much fucking better

BillSykesDog · 24/02/2016 08:54

From her website:

Robinson’s work empowers people to live their truths and be authentic. Transparency is how she walks her talk.

ODFOD

QueenArseClangers · 24/02/2016 08:54

She doesn't half fancy herself doesn't she?

She sounds just like Kate from The Archers Boop!

GloGirl · 24/02/2016 08:56

Reminds me of Ryan from the US Office.

"It was indescribable Pam"

To be irritated by this Facebook post?
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