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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask for tolerance towards learner drivers?

141 replies

Ohtobeskiing · 22/02/2016 10:48

Dd is learning to drive and as well as her lessons she is now practising in my car. We were out this morning and experienced some awful behaviour from other drivers. For example - turning right out of a side road into a main road the driver behind her beeped their horn several times to get her to hurry up. This of course just made her anxious and she stalled. The car is clearly marked with 'L' plates. Is it so difficult to be considerate to an inexperienced driver?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 22/02/2016 13:28

I actually don't think.its the fact that learners are slow. I think.a large percentage of people drive to fast and that's the issue.

the amount of people who go speeding past me whilst I'm. driving at the limit is unbelievable

people seem to prefer to cause an issue by being impatient rather than just wait.

EleanorAbernathy · 22/02/2016 13:33

When I was learning I was waiting in a right turn only lane waiting for a gap in the traffic, indicators on - was just about to go and had started to pull out when some tosser came out of nowhere and overtook me!
My instructor managed to slam on the dual control brakes in time, but it shook me up a bit.

YesterdayOnceMore · 22/02/2016 13:34

YANBU and I have never understood what people hope to achieve by beeping a learner waiting to pull out of a junction?

TheFairyCaravan · 22/02/2016 13:40

Well Yabu if you are taking her out during rush hour, what do you expect ?

Both my children's tests were during the rush hour. How else are they going to learn to drive to the conditions if you avoid certain times of the day/conditions? Our children frequently drove to school, with me, when they were learning.

People can be complete arses to learner drivers, it's quite shocking, and you don't realise how bad they are (the arses) until you've been out with a learner.

YANBU OP.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 22/02/2016 13:41

And it's not only learners who can occasionally stall at a junction - I have been known to occasionally if I am wearing different shoes! Blush

Dh has and he drives for a living.

Shit happens to everyone but harassing a learner so they stall is counterproductive as it takes them longer to restart and they tend to do it properly. Handbrake on, into neutral etc etc. whereas an experienced driver will start it up with it still in gear and foot on the clutch :o

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad · 22/02/2016 13:48

Tell me about it Giles... Last week some twat decided that the 60mph that I was travelling at (on a 60mph road) wasn't good enough, and having hovered behind me for a few minutes, suddenly put his foot down and overtook me with a roar - incidentally throwing up a stone which cracked my windscreen...!!! Shock Angry

Original poster
Ohtobeskiing · 22/02/2016 13:55

onemagnum yes, you're right about restarting 'properly' after a stall. That is exactly what dd did. We talked a lot about the attitude of other drivers always being an issue regardless of how long you have been driving. Her instructor and I can teach her about judging road conditions based on light, weather, volume of traffic etc but other road users will always be the Unknown.

OP posts:
notquitehuman · 22/02/2016 13:58

I actually don't think.its the fact that learners are slow. I think.a large percentage of people drive to fast and that's the issue.

True. I drive pretty much spot on the speed limit, for example 28mph in a 30 zone. The amount of impatient dickheads who I can see gesticulating behind me. I really must give people the rage! I suppose being a youngish female driver in a small car is like a red rag to the owners of certain vehicles.

I think people need to learn the definition of speed limit.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 22/02/2016 13:59

and the thing is she should do it properly as that is what she will be tested on. I hope it hasn't knocked her too badly and yes the world is full of twats and you can't legislate for it. I remember when the girl I drove to school along with my children was learning and she was shocked that the correct reaction to a tailgater was to pull in and let them past as soon as it's safe to do so, and she was Shock that they basically get what they want by being a bully. I just explained that you'd rather have someone like that as far from you as possible so whilst it seems unfair, it's the safest thing to do.

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/02/2016 13:59

I have been known to smirk to myself when the hit the lights and have to wait anyway..

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 22/02/2016 14:05

YADNBU OP. My driving instructor (fab, calm, lovely gent) used to say this to me about dickheads:

'Look in your mirrors, can you see blue flashing lights? No? Then he's not an ambulance, just a prat, ignore him.'

I had undertaking and crossing red lights at junctions to get around me, car overtaking, swerving in and then emergency stopping, a bottle thrown at the car while I was trying to restart at junction, a man clipping the tail as he shot past my bumper as I was halfway through a manoeuvre...

Since I passed, I've a) experienced much less cockwomblery from other drivers apart from BMWs and Audis who cannot help it and b) been as kind as possible to learners when out and about myself.

Hope the driving goes well.

Lockheart · 22/02/2016 14:06

It's not disgusting to beep at a learner, or any other driver, if it's appropriate to do so. However, appropriate to do so means to warn them of your presence, not because you think they're taking too long. For example, if someone tries to reverse into you, as one learner almost did to me in a car park whilst I was stationary. My beeping them prevented all of us having to exchange insurance details.

I was a nervous learner at first and I stalled the car something awful until I got used to it. So I sympathise greatly with learners who might just take a little more time. I had someone beeping me to go at a junction years after I passed my test. He didn't seem to realise there was a bloody traffic jam and there was nowhere for me to go to. He did look suitably red-faced though when there was a gap, and he followed on my tail and subsequently blocked the junction - prat.

There are massive bellends in all walks of life. One was very interested in the contents of my boot (hay, if you really want to know) this morning whilst I waited for a safe spot to overtake a cyclist. Please reassure your DD she's doing nothing wrong and try to get her to ignore the impatient tossers.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 22/02/2016 14:06

I have to say I'm not without a smirk either when that happens Giles . My normal route when dropping of at school takes me both up and down the same road in a fairly short period of time - it's a 50 road and dual in part so loads of folk speed on it. There's a bit at the top where I come on that sometimes has the traffic cops on it. I've twice had folk that don't know it's there go speeding past me on my way back up the road (while I'm doing 50) not knowing the speed trap is there and getting pulled over - my heart bleeds obviously....

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 22/02/2016 14:07

Oh, and I had all my lessons at rush hour, because that is when I could do lessons - after work, but before dinner. So, sorry impatient people who think all learners could stay off the roads when they are zooming along on their Very Important Journeys, but that was when I could get a slot and actually have the time to have the lesson, so tough titties.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 22/02/2016 14:14

YANBU, OP. I was on my way to my driving test, years ago, when I made an error - I didn't pull in behind a car to let a car coming the opposite way go past. There was just enough room for us to squeeze past each other, but I fully admit I was in the wrong. The driver of the other car stopped, rolled his window down and started screaming and swearing at me, with hand gestures thrown in for good measure. It really shook me up, and I was already in a state due to the upcoming test.

I didn't pass (nowhere near ready, due to useless instructor - he didn't notice either my mistake or the driver yelling at me, that's how bad he was), and I've only just plucked up the courage to try lessons again recently, over a decade later.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 22/02/2016 14:16

Humpty I think I would be put of doing them at rush hour as apart from the beneficial experience of being in heavy traffic, you'd get less of an overall lesson iywim? Clearly you needed to do them then for a reason though.

maamalady · 22/02/2016 14:19

Magnetic L plates work just fine. When I was a learner we got extra magnetic strips so the plates were stuck down on all four sides - no problem at all, and my parents could take them off easily when they drove the car. There's no excuse not to do that, Maryz, incorrectly labelling your car with L plates is just lazy.

OP, I sympathise, some people are dicks. Most people are patient with learners, though, the dicks are the minority.

Original poster
Ohtobeskiing · 22/02/2016 14:20

beautyqueen very best of luck for your driving. It IS worth it!

OP posts:
ICanSeeForMiles · 22/02/2016 14:21

It's not that long ago I was a learner, and I always give them plenty of space and time to do their thing. However, the utterly oblivious idiots who have been driving for years and don't have a clue of speed limits or lanes, for example, make my blood boil.

Original poster
Ohtobeskiing · 22/02/2016 14:22

Thank you everyone for your reassurance and your own stories. I was indignant on dd's behalf this morning. I have just had a text from dd to say her instructor has offered her a lesson at 5pm today - rush hour. Oh the irony!!

OP posts:
MNHQ
LisaMumsnet · 22/02/2016 14:25

I've had 'Learn how to drive!' shouted at me by another motorist when I didn't do something or other fast enough for his liking. It gave me such a fright I nearly pranged my car! I would never do anything to unnerve an already nervous newbie driver because I think it's actually unsafe to do so. Driving is all about confidence and everyone know you only REALLY learn to drive AFTER you've passed your test. We should all be kind to learners as we were all there once... Good luck OP's daughter, you'll be fab on test day!

VelvetSpoon · 22/02/2016 14:32

Yanbu.

People should bear in mind there are plenty of tests in rush hour, those learners they're honking at may well be on a test at the time! So not helpful at all...

I'm a learner, I drive reasonably well but I am cautious at junctions, when overtaking etc. I almost never stall but I don't go til I'm sure I can get out safely - I have to learn to judge this myself otherwise I'll never pass my test. I am usually out eves and weekends and quite often will either be honked at, or more usually undertaken/ overtaken often dangerously by impatient dicks.

Everyone was a learner once, people seem to forget this!

Worst example was on the big roundabout near the O2, which was pretty horrendous. My bf says that I need to show less weakness as I get bullied by other drivers, but it's difficult to project strength when you're a learner driving a tiny 998cc car!

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 22/02/2016 15:24

OneMagnum yep, I didn't have other free time, and that was the only slot my instructor had. Sometimes we sat in traffic, but that taught me patience and clutch control Grin

GoblinLittleOwl · 22/02/2016 17:09

Yes, but please do not have lessons/ practice during morning and evening times when people are trying to get to work, until they are really competent.

Maryz: get magnetic ones.

JacquesHammer · 22/02/2016 17:19

I really judge driving instructors who take learners out in traffic when they're clearly not ready.

A few months ago I waited for 3 traffic light changes because the learner couldn't do a hill start. It helps no-one.

When I learnt to drive my instructor took me along industrial streets/quiet back roads until I was competent enough to cope with more traffic.