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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to go back to work early because I'm so miserable on maternity leave.

44 replies

havingamadmoment · 21/02/2016 14:16

My dd is 4 months old she is dc6. The whole thing from the birth to know has been a nightmare and I am so miserable , I just can't face another few months of this. People have suggested that I see my gp about it but tbh I already take citalopram plus I don't know if it's a doctor thing or just a very odd me thing (I am well known for having wildly fluctuating moods!).

Aibu to go back now ? Just to escape this?

OP posts:

Hurrayitsnotdark · 21/02/2016 15:25

After my first I was devastated to go back after a year, after my second I was a SAHM for 2.5 years, after my third I went back after 6 months. I was climbing the walls with boredom. Do it

PeppasNanna · 21/02/2016 15:33

I'm a mum of 6 & run off my feet all day...

Don't get 5 minutes. Would love to know your secret op!

ChalkHearts · 21/02/2016 15:36

You can be run off your feet and bored!

You can be busy all day and bored. Miserable. Unhappy.

Working FT is often easier than staying at home.

And lots of people enjoy it more.

HackerFucker22 · 21/02/2016 15:46

I dreaded going back to work (I was off 13m with DC2) but to be honest it's been a welcome relief. I hadn't realised how monotonous my life had become.

Don't get me wrong it's hard being pulled in yet another direction but I feel overall I appreciate the different aspects of my life. I look forward to seeing the kids after being at work and I look forward to work after 4 days with the kids I only went back part time

Sounds like there could be more to it though OP? You have a Hell of a lot on your plate - 6 kids? And you are taking medication I assume for depression.

What is it about your DD you find so challenging?

SusannahD · 21/02/2016 15:50

Go back, no point bring miserable and your baby will love nursery.

magpie17 · 21/02/2016 15:55

Go back. After 6 kids you know what you are doing and what is going to get easier/harder in terms of the baby. If you are ready and have available childcare then go back! My DS is 7 months and up to now I thought I didn't want to go back but I had a KIT day last week and it reminded me that I was this whole other person before I had a baby. I realised I kind of miss her and will be glad to go back in a couple of months.

PrimalLass · 21/02/2016 15:56

If you have your own business then why not start doing some work if you are bored? It is not the same as 'going back to work' for an employer IMO.

wallywobbles · 21/02/2016 17:07

In France maternity leave is 13 weeks so totally normal here.

StillYummy · 21/02/2016 17:16

I went back to work early, just to have a wee on my own :) bliss

Stickerrocks · 21/02/2016 17:21

Don't forget that the norm for maternity leave until only a few years ago was 6 months max. I'm sure it's harder for babies to settle in childcare at the 1 yo stage as they are naturally clingier around then. I went back to work after 5 months and then became self employed a year later. I never regretted it.

Original poster

havingamadmoment · 21/02/2016 17:44

Thanks everyone. I do feel depressed but i just trying to think how to make that better.

Peppasnana - my children are 11,9,7,5,4 and 4 months. So the older ones are at school, I spend an hour in the morning tidying before we leave for school - that's pretty much it!

OP posts:

Original poster

havingamadmoment · 21/02/2016 17:49

Ameliablue- I could go back part time if I wanted yes.

OP posts:

Original poster

havingamadmoment · 21/02/2016 17:50

Primal lass I can't really just dip in like that I wouldn't know what was going on with the others at the office etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

havingamadmoment · 21/02/2016 17:52

Hacker - I take it for depression/anxiety. I gave had anxiety problems for about 8 years and have been taking the medication for 18 months.

OP posts:

PrimalLass · 21/02/2016 22:01

*Primal lass I can't really just dip in like that I wouldn't know what was going on with the others at the office etc.

That makes sense, but I imagine you could still manage a bit and be more flexible than the scary commitment of going back when you're not the boss. I've been self employ since DC2, and am tipping my toe back in employment, so am thinking a lot about the benefits of a regular salary v the flexibility of being just me!

PrimalLass · 21/02/2016 22:01

*employed

Xmasbaby11 · 21/02/2016 22:05

Honestly with 6 kids I can well understand your need to get back to work!

You should go back whenever you feel comfortable. I'd probably wait month or two to see how you feel, though, as you may be less tired by then and enjoy your time with the baby.

Philoslothy · 21/02/2016 22:06

I think that by the time you have six children you have your routines and it is very familiar so it is easy to get bored especially if you have an easy baby.

I have two at home at the moment but tend to have my housework and chores done by midday. I did not want to go back to work because I am too lazy but I can see that if I was more motivated I may have gone back. However I am never bored as I do some voluntary work, lots of socialising and have started a few business projects.

If you want to go back to work there is nothing wrong with that but you can have adult company and a to do list without returning to work.

Terrifiedandregretful · 22/02/2016 12:04

I stayed off for 9 months because I felt guilty for wanting to go back earlier and was scared I would judged, despite the fact I was severely depressed while on mat leave. I was so much happier once I returned to work and wished I had done it sooner. We are very lucky in this country to have a generous leave entitlement, but that doesn't mean we should feel obliged to take it if it doesn't suit our needs.

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