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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask I'd this is correct about school she

40 replies

Abbinob · 21/02/2016 09:23

Looking at 2 year old DS (august born) and thinking about how in a year and 7 months ish time he will be going to school full time.
Seems crazy to me, doesn't seem like he will be old enough at all? Do they really grow up so much in that amount of time? I'm quite worried about it actually that they start so young

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 21/02/2016 10:32

Think how different he was a year and 7 months ago. Yes, he will grow up that fast.

DeeLite · 21/02/2016 10:51

My DS is summer born and one of the youngest in his class. He is in Year One now and absolutely thriving. He does gravitate towards the younger boys in his class but is exceeding expectations academically, popular and happy. I think he might be a little bored if he was September born and only in Reception now.

scrivette · 22/02/2016 08:06

I felt like you, right until September when he was starting reception. I was so worried as he seemed to be too young and he adored Pre School and I wished he could stay there for a couple more terms.

I needed to have worried! The child who could barely write his name at pre school is very good at writing and thoroughly enjoys school, it's very much play based and they don't realise how much they are learning.

Yes the first time was quite tiring, but all of the children were the same, I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying now!

Gatehouse77 · 22/02/2016 08:19

My eldest is a (end of) July baby. We took the decision that he would not start until the term after his 5th birthday which meant he went straight into Y1. It has made no difference to him but we were the only parents who did that. That said, he is academically very able and we wanted to give his social skills a bit more focus. He got to spend an extra term at nursery school (Montessori) where, for the only time in his school career, he was one of the oldest.

The other factor was we would happily have home educated had he not got a school place so there was no pressure, from our perspective, to get him into school. The same for the others as they followed.

DD1 only did a term of reception. With her, it meant starting at Easter with 2 or 3 others or in January with 17. Given her personality we felt she was better off starting where the majority knew what they were doing and she could follow quietly.

I do believe it's a personal choice and hate the pressure on parents to get the kids in sooner than they might be ready purely out of fear they might not get the school they want.

BillSykesDog · 22/02/2016 08:31

Speak to your LA admissions to find out if he can start reception at 5. I am expecting twins in August and I intend to send them to reception when they are 5. My DS is the age now they would be starting school and he's just not ready.

AStreetcarNamedBob · 22/02/2016 08:37

England has the youngest school starting age in the world except Northern Ireland. It's technically 5 but as you know in order to secure a place at your chosen school you have to send them at 4.

The rest of Europe is either 6 or 7

America is 6 I think.

If you can afford private they'd usually let you send him into reception the next year as his bday is so close to the cut off.

or I think the law is changing soon that you can defer a year in the state sector too

AppleSetsSail · 22/02/2016 08:39

I disagree with sending 4 year olds (even 5 year olds) to school. Ridiculous. 6 seems quite reasonable to me.

AStreetcarNamedBob · 22/02/2016 08:41

I personally think it's appalling that children go at 4. The government needs to look at this in depth. In Finland they start at 7, and overtake is academically extremely early on.

It's not the case that the earlier you start the better the education.

SmellTheGlove · 22/02/2016 08:41

I have recently discovered that some LAs are actually making it quite difficult to defer entry - I'm a teacher and in my LA there needs to be input from an Ed Psych giving reasons why a summer born child would struggle in Reception age just 4. It's the first instance I've come across and the situation is still under review so not sure how it's going to pan out at the moment. Interesting though that the deferral is not an automatic right though...

Stillunexpected · 22/02/2016 08:54

Understandable concerns but very early to be deciding that your DS won't be ready for school. They develop so much in a few months at this age. You are worried about his preparedness in a year and seven months time, think back to a year and seven months ago, how far has he come in that time?! How far might he go in the same period of time again?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/02/2016 09:02

At our school I honestly don't think there was that much difference between preschool and reception; it was all just learning through play. Year 1 was when the work stepped up a bit.

bluespiral · 22/02/2016 09:13

The difference between a 2yo and a 4yo is enormous. For example DD could barely talk at 2 and was having speech therapy. Now 4 in reception she's articulate, reading, writing etc.
Don't worry!

DisappointedOne · 22/02/2016 09:36

The child who could barely write his name at pre school is very good at writing and thoroughly enjoys school, it's very much play based and they don't realise how much they are learning.

In Wales learning is play based until age 7, which follows the Scandinavian model.

Finnish children, as someone raised the point, don't start formal schooling until 7, but are in state sponsored preschools until then. Their whole society is geared around supporting children and families in a way ours isn't.

MyIronLung · 22/02/2016 09:52

My ds is August born and started reception last September. He's the youngest in the whole school (it's a big school).
He's struggling a bit because he's so tired all the time and an awful lot is expected of them. The teachers don't really take the difference of age into account and expect all of the children to be at the same level of being able to sit still/concentrate/do zips and buttons up, etc.

Ds is unusual in that while he's the youngest and smallest child, he's also the most competent academically. He's the only one in his class who can read independently and is very good with numbers/ X-tables, etc.
Because of this, I believe, even more is expected from him. The fact that he's up to a year younger than a lot of his peers is not acknowledged.

It's all very frustrating. I wish he could've had another year of pre-school.

MyIronLung · 22/02/2016 10:01

I meant to add that technically ds's class is also 'play based' but after talking to friends whose children are at different schools (in the same city) I think our school is more geared towards the academics.

Ds regularly gets writing homework, researching homework (online and in books). This is on top of reading 5 times a week (which we would do anyway...maybe not the bloody Biff and Kipper books though!) he also gets spellings, but I think it's only him getting these because he's such a good reader.
My friends dc doesn't get any of this. They can read "if they want to" but nothing's pushed.

I'd like something in between the two

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