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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

family

14 replies

manicattack · 20/02/2016 12:50

Ok lets see how much grief i get today, i'm trying with my spelling and grammar .
Right so a few years ago i fell out with my family ,well all but mum, which im actually surprised with because we have never really got on ...
I found out i was hiv and i was extremely angry and disapointed with my husband .
When i told my family expecting, which ive since learnt you should never do , support my sister turned up with text messages from my dad saying i was lying i never had it. Well i've got over it now . i found my silverling my girl and a happy settled family ,that now has a great future . i'd love to show my family how well were doing . but im not sure if id be preppared for being rejected again ... Should i bother

OP posts:

Guitargirl · 20/02/2016 12:56

Crikey. You have really been through it.

If you approach your family what would you like from them? An apology? I think I would concentrate on my nuclear family. You really don't need any more hassle in your life.

Good luck OP

gleekster · 20/02/2016 12:59

Hi Manic There isn't loads wrong with your spelling and grammar - have you posted before and had posters having a go at you about it?

Well done for working on it and coming back.

Anyway, I am so sorry to hear about the HIV and your family's response and lack of support. To be honest I wouldn't bother contacting them, no. It sounds like you have done a great job in very difficult circumstances, but a big dose of rejection could be hard to manage.

Are you still in contact with your mother? If so, surely she reports back to everyone else anyway?

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2016 13:11

I wouldn't bother now that you're happy and settled. They sound like they should be left firmly in the past.

Ignore the grammar and spelling wankers OP. Yes, your post is a little hard to understand but I've just looked at your other thread and seen that you took a right pasting from some.

Start a thread saying someone called you a cunt on a bus, and you'll (rightly) be told to consider that they might have had a MH issue or SN.

Start a thread with bad grammar and spelling, and it seems very few will afford you the same sort of thinking.

Original poster

manicattack · 20/02/2016 14:02

I try with the the whole english langauge ,i'm taking english and maths level 1 along side my course. The senco lady said its not im unintelligent, its somethink to do with social and emotional ....i just see it as a new challenge.
And hopefully with a bit of patience from my english tutor and this forum full of hungry grammar monster will help ....

And my mum moved to greece 10+ years so that annoyed my sisters no contact there either family are strange thing lucky i got my partner and kids

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2016 14:06

No, this forum won't help, believe me

Type 'could of' instead of 'could have' and suddenly every fucker has an English degree they want to tell you about

Yes you're lucky to have found happiness with your partner and kids. Sometimes it's better to concentrate on the future and put the past behind you.

They might contact you one day and then the ball will be in your court.

Original poster

manicattack · 20/02/2016 14:14

Laughting in the barbers , the future is going to be awesome thanxs.

OP posts:

liinyo · 20/02/2016 15:40

Well done on keeping going when life has thrown so much at you. I am glad you have found happiness.

It sounds a bit risky approaching your family. If they are still going be unkind or unsupportive it might be upsetting for you. I would make sure they know where you are,( perhaps send your mum a card on her birthday every year with contact details) and then as Worra says, they might contact you.

Best wishes xx

Original poster

manicattack · 20/02/2016 16:32

that's actually not a bad idea,the card thing, it won't be as publicly humiliating ... right thats what im going to do .

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2016 16:58

Actually it's Mother's Day in a few weeks, or would you rather send a birthday card?

twistedlove · 20/02/2016 17:11

Your family are cunts and your better off without them, you have a fantasic fiancee and 5 beautiful kids, your doing well at college and one day you'll run your own business, you dont need them

Original poster

manicattack · 20/02/2016 17:13

mothe'rs day even better, i hope it works for my children more than me, i feel guilty i haven't been able to give them grand parent , espeacially as i had an amazing grandad . not to sure how he produced my dad and his brother . but he was away with the army when they were small .

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2016 17:16

Aww you should never feel guilty about that.

It's beyond your control.

Birdsgottafly · 20/02/2016 17:19

I used to support people with HIV, it depends on what you want to get out of it and the big one, if they will use your illness against you.

You've gone on and created a life for yourself, will they knock you back down?

Will they in anyway not be the best people to have around your DD, given your diagnosis?

How would they be during a vulnerable time, or a period of illness?

Whilst HIV doesn't mean that you'll ever get ill, it does change things, especially as you age.

I agree with a card to your Mum, but think very carefully if you even need the others.

Original poster

manicattack · 20/02/2016 17:45

your going to think this is strange. but hiv really isn't a problem, i was diagnosed 5 years ago on the 14th of February ,i am not medicated as my immune system is strong. i'm deemed not a public health risk(im not scared of saying im positive so its not a secrete) as in i have never ever ever infected anyone . im very open about it, im on aids med and also the tht not for the fainted hearted. its very similar to this but the queens run the show, all forums have there drama queens . im part of the patient participation team . i have also been asked to come along to a domestic violence conference . and i'm about to start a listening programme so i too can become a peer support worker and i'm 34 lol i feel like i'm a good 75 sometimes though

OP posts:

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