DD/DSD bank accounts and lack of

[Beth2511]

I have DD, 15 months and DSD 8 years. Since i was pregnant i have made it clear i feel its really important to have a savings account for any children. DSD had one when younger but her mum emptied it. I have also made it clear to DH that if he wishes to set DSD up a bank account that can pnly be asked once she is 18, like DDs, i will happily put in the same monthly amounts as would my parents to both girls. It was made obvious that ehilst i will happily contribute i am not putting in the leg work to set it up.

Well he never bothered so myself and my parents have been paying in x amount whilst DSD has not got an account and thus no savings. The first annual statement has just come through and its caused an almighty row that DD will have some money whilst DSD nothing. I dont see this as my fault or really my problem to fix, she had one that was emptied and he never botbered to set one up for me to pay into. So now of course im big nasty stepmok who favours DD...

Have i really done something that bad?? I feel like he is responsible and its hisfault:(

Poor DSD. Seems you and your parents give more of a feck about being fair to her than her own parents do. (Are you quite sure the story about her DM pinching her savings to party on is true btw? You sound a bit vague on the point so I wonder whether your sources are quite reliable. Just a passing thought.) It's all very well to decide he can't be bothered to set up a bank account for his DD, but to berate her stepmother for failing to pay into an account that didn't exist is... I'm not sure what it is... delusional? Unjust, anyway!

Even XH, who is a pretty useless article on the financial front, managed to set up an ISA for youngest DS, and to put his own money into it rather than expecting me to cover it. But then, whatever else his many faults, he does love his DC.

Its definitely true, have seen old statements. I think i might say to OH. That im still happy to contribute once he bothers but if he doesnt bother i wont be saving for her and it will be his responsibility to explain the difference.

He does have lots of good qualities just think he had a shit time growing up and really struggles with parenting even though he adores them.

I worry about DSD all the time, she gets the shit end of the deal with her mum all the time and she always looks so sad and upset yet is the easiest to look after child i have ever come accross. She deserves something when she reaches 18 to be able to have a car or travel or do something that she wants.

I'm still on the front that dsd shouldn't suffer because your husbands crap. If u care so much sort it out for her. As another poster said u can set up online without birth certificate.

A child even when older won't see that her dad couldn't be bothered it will appear her step mum couldn't be bothered either

I dont think you are unreasonable at all.
You are just expecting your dh to parent his child. You are expecting him to behave like a responsible adult. I think you have bigger issues than the bank account. It gives an
impression of his general Attitude.

I don't see how this is in any way the OPs fault, she's not unreasonable at all imo.

The child's parents should be sorting an account out. Which banks can you set up an account without a birth certificate? I tried to open an online account for one of my children but couldn't do it without 2 items of ID and at the time only had a birth certificate, no passport so had to give up.

A grown man who can't organise it himself is pathetic imo

YANBU at all. Your entitled manchild of a DP needs to get off his lazy arse and open an account for his DD instead of expecting you to do it for him.

Hearing about men like this makes me remember one of the reasons why I'm so happy being single.

Not your problem IMO

Its lovely that you and your parents care so much, your dsd is lucky to have you. Your dh sounds like a bit of a fuck wit. (Sorry)

Gosh your DP sounds a tool!

Beth2511 I think it is lovely that you and your parents want to do this. Your OH needs a kick up the backside as he is being unfair to you and his daughter.