Well I've heard it all!

[mincepieprivateeye]

I'm going through the long process of getting a court protection order for my dad who has Alzheimer's, has been detained under the mental health act and is now in full time care and under a deprivation of liberty order. I don't have POA which is why I have to go for deputy ship as he lacks mental capacity to grant it. Today I've received a letter and forms which I have to take in person to my dad, a sixty mile round trip, to explain what I'm doing and why! I know it's the rule but seriously I'm having to explain this to my poor dad who doesn't fully realise who I am and talks about his dad who has been dead for fifty years. Seems quite farcical really

We had to do this for my MIL, you are correct, it was totally farcical.

She is now at end stage Alzheimers and we are battling to try and get Continuous Healthcare Funding for her as she's been self funding for the past 4 years and her money is running out fast.

If you saw the checklist that was carried out by the nursing assessor you'd think she was getting ready to go on a cruise or something when in reality shes completely bedbound, no cognition at all, says about 5 words in total, doubly incontinent, nursed on an air mattress to prevent sores and eats very little puree and drinks thickened drinks.

The whole system needs looking at to be honest. Its a disgrace.

Knit, it's a battle you shouldn't need to have. As it stands for dad, he is on 117 aftercare because he'd been detained in a section 3 mental health act so his care is paid by nhs/council. A social worker assessed dad after he'd been at the care home a month and he will be continually assessed to see if his needs change. From what I'm told if his needs less care they will move him from the 117 and then he'll need to have a financial assessment. The fees where he is are £1400 a week!!

Although individuals can and do get good care, it seems like our elderly care system is well below ideal. Is there a country that does it well, wg

Which we could model our care on?

No practical advice for you, but respect and for what you are doing and how you are coping.

The care system does seem difficult to navigate and at times is very poor, I speak from experience going through the system with dad. I've had brilliant advice from mumsnet elderly parents topic, there are some fantastic people on here! As for the care system, well, Alzheimer's is a disease not a life style choice. It just happens to the elderly and that's the problem, we wouldn't expect a younger person with a disease to put up with the type of care and lack of support that many older people put up with. There are many things that need looking at but as for the answer, eventually it all comes down to cost and sadly there's no way we will ever have enough money in the pot to give the care our families deserve.