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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that adult life (or atleast mine) is so mundane.

48 replies

Abbinob · 18/02/2016 15:23

I'm so bored and fed up.
Wake up. Sort toddler. Take toddler to nursery. Tidy up/study. Pick toddler up at 12. Play. Go to the park over the road/soft play. Cook. Put toddler to bed. Tidy. Eat. Watch t.v sleep.
Uni twice a week.
Repeat for infinity.
Got pregnant at 21, so had a couple of adult responsibility free years. But now I am so bored.
I love ds. But I'm so sick of having no time or money or energy to do anything.

OP posts:

HelsBels3000 · 18/02/2016 20:17

A delight? When said toddler is lying on the floor screaming because you had the audacity to remove their coat & hat & boots not bitter oh yes such a delight

jevoudrais · 18/02/2016 20:22

Interesting what you say about your SIL. I am someone who loves a night in with a takeaway and the TV. Sod going out, not my thing at all unless it involves horses and dogs (I'm not a drinker). I don't have kids, but just backing up that everyone is different and at this stage in your life it's probably harder to do want you enjoy often compared to your SIL, who is like me and easily pleased.

Spero · 18/02/2016 20:25

Anyone who 'adores' spending time with a toddler cannot actually spend very much time with them at all.

roundaboutthetown · 18/02/2016 20:27

Train your toddler up to share your interests, then as they get older and more interesting, you stand a greater chance of enjoying spending time with them.

cleaty · 18/02/2016 20:32

Everyone needs things to look forward to. Do you have some money? Can you plan some nice stuff regularly? Book a babysitter?

ReginaBlitz · 18/02/2016 20:34

Poor you. Deal with it,it's called life.

Backingvocals · 18/02/2016 20:39

OP is dealing with it regina so no need to take that tone. She was posting what she's experiencing and expressing her feelings. And got lots of empathy and suggestions of ways forward. That's the whole point. Not a slap round the chops for no reason.

CrockedPot · 18/02/2016 20:42

ReginaBlitz may have taken a harsh tone, but essentially, she IS right...that's life, you get one go at it. Now you either sit around moaning about it or appreciate the fact that you have a child, a roof over your head, food in your cupboards and a bed to sleep in. They are the essentials. The rest is up to you.

BeeppityBeep · 18/02/2016 20:44

What's with all the bitchy comments? I can't decide I think posters who make such comments enjoy trying to upset people or whether they are so unaware that they don't understand how they come across.

OP, I second trying to make sure you get out everyday. What about sport? I know it's not for everyone but I always feel happier if I've exercised especially if it's a group sport.

merseyside · 18/02/2016 20:46

It's does sound boring.

Can you go out to work? I'd be bored shitless at home with my toddler all day. I'm so glad I have my job to keep me sane.

I don't understand a lot of the posters on this thread moaning about how boring SAHM is. Don't do it then, get a job!!

And in response to a pp's "deal with it, that's life" NO ITS NOT!! Life is interesting and funny and exciting (with some boring bits) but you have to get out there and make it happen

No one is going to knock on your door and suddenly offer you a fascinating life with loads of opportunities, you have to choose it for yourself.

WhoisLucasHood · 18/02/2016 20:48

Yes, it's dull and tedious but changing your mindset is all that's needed. Finding the joy in everything no matter how bonkers it makes you sound. I've always been a natural grump pessimist until the last few years where I've enjoyed it all and stopped comparing my life to anyone elses. I hate toddler groups and the toddler stuff but it makes DD so happy, it's not for long until she's at school.

merseyside · 18/02/2016 20:48

Sorry I missed the uni bit. Part time job?

BillSykesDog · 18/02/2016 20:52

I had my first at 33, second pregnancy due at 37. I guess I had my fun as a teen/early 20s. Looking on the bright side when you're just a little older than me you will have done your mother duty and be free to have fun! By the time I've finished all I'll have to look forwards to is decrepitude and death!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 18/02/2016 20:52

Yep, its boring. That's being an adult for you.

I will quote your op at my children when they reach their late teens, to remind them of how incredibly important it is to have the most reliable contraception they possibly can. And to come to me if they need money for the map!

CrockedPot · 18/02/2016 20:57

Exactly merseyside...the everyday, run of the mill elements of life can be tedious, but you have to make the most of what you have and find enjoyment where you can. If your comment was at me, Beeppity* I genuinely wasn't trying to upset anyone, I just think that you need to take stock sometimes and appreciate what you do have, and then see what you can do to make life interesting and fun etc. Go out, get fresh air, join a group/club/chat to people who share interests with you on this site. But also do take stock of what you have that is good - you probably have a lot more than some people, is the point I was trying to make.

LaContessaDiPlump · 18/02/2016 20:58

It is boring op. I'm in it myself atm so an really sympathise!!

The reassuring posts are nice. The less supportive ones are

Lightbulbon · 18/02/2016 20:59

You're bored because your life is boring.

Mothering in western society is boring.

if it wasn't more men would do it

ohthegoats · 18/02/2016 21:07

Looking after a toddler is fun when you have slept, when you haven't got anything else to do (like cook dinner, or sort out washing, or change sheets), when it's not raining, when you have different options for entertaining them. I watch our parents with our daughter, and both sets LOVE spending time with her, but for them it doesn't matter if she doesn't sleep very well that day, or eat very well that day, or watch too much Peppa or whatever, but for me it's quite a rare day when I haven't got other stuff on too.

To enjoy it properly I have to really focus on HER... and that's not always possible. Sad but true. I'm on holiday alone with her at the moment, no work to do, no washing to do, no cooking to do... just playing, napping etc, and it's great. If I was at home, I'd be finding it tedious.

Trills · 18/02/2016 21:20

To be more precise, having a toddler and not much money is mundane.

Lack of toddlers and/or money can enable you to do many more interesting things.

People who complain that their lives are mundane when they have disposable income and no small children - they are the ones who should be treated to a bit of only boring people are bored tough love.

Trills · 18/02/2016 21:24

Backingvocals you might like this as well - Esther Walker saying "No, I don't have postnatal depression, I'm saying it's a bit shit because it's a bit shit".

timemaychangeme · 18/02/2016 21:33

It's hard work, often tedious and life generally can be more of the same old same old. I think this time of year too can make everything seem worse and more claustrophobic. Cold, grey, gloomy - that just adds to the cocktail of bleugh.

It's hard when you're in the middle of toddlery playdoh, dressing up and duplo fests, to feel as if things will ever change. But your toddler won't stay a toddler, your uni course will finish, things in your life will change and life will be different.

Can you try accept that you feel bored and not fight it? That for now, life isn't particularly interesting or fun and that' ok? But that this is how it is now, but it will get better?

shinynewusername · 18/02/2016 21:36

Love that article, Trills - thanks.

This book is also excellent.

Sunshine87 · 19/02/2016 17:18

I adore her as i never got the opportunity to spent the toddlers years with my DS as i was single mom when he was 13months old I went to full time nursery as i worked full time mom. It wasn't a dig i just enjoy the time with my DD as i never had that opportunity with my eldest. Shes a very placid child and we enjoy that time together. More so as we will be welcoming DC3 in 5 weeks.

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