Exh showed up looking like a fashion model!

[RosaDiazepam]

Skinny distressed jeans, boots, superdry leather type thing with fur collar, freshly shaved, hair in a quiff

Me & kids were like
After 10 years of not bothering to shower properly (once a week?) or brush his teeth and stinking the place out with his beer/fag breath aibu to feel a bit bemused/amused??

Lighthearted of course he is entitled to sort himself out and why do I even care ? No I definitely don't want him back
aren't superdry jackets expensive? Bastard,I'm scraping the cupboards for t tonight still happier though

He's now bald, lives in black addidas trackies and thinks he's some mixed martial arts pro

That's brilliant ^^

MrsC, I was 11 years younger than him so I think my beautiful youth kept him young. When he was sniffing around older women, he aged. 33 and 44 now. I came off winning with this one.

But it is amazing what offloading dead weight can do for you. Also I can dye my hair bright red and wear jeggings with funky trainers without looking like a twat because I still look in my 20's

Ooh maybe that's what it is TaliZorah...! Interesting! I do think that my ex-h's OW was very well aware that she looked significantly older and thus has encouraged him to dress like a twat he does. His eye bags are a sight to behold too. Gosh, we had a lucky escape didn't we?

You most definitely came off winning and are blessed to be so youthful! Whilst I can't claim the same (am in 40's), I have been told repeatedly that my ex-h was very much punching above his weight. I'll take that, thank you very much .

I omitted to add, upthread, that the very last time on earth I saw my ex was when he was in court, being done for harrassing me. Which resulted in a suspended sentence and a lifetime ban from every contacting me in any way ever again. So the bald on top with dyed black ponytail combo was especially a joy to behold but not so much as the turning up - in court - wearing a cream jacket... My theory was he did it deliberately to look even more insane, so they'd let him off...

He had his 'character witnesses' there, too, a load of clean cut, shaven, cheap suit wearing blokes from his Alpha course in Holborn. As the (usher? not sure of his name) opened the door to walk me into court, he whispered "This lot look like a load of bloody Jehovah's Witnesses!"

I don't think the judge was fooled by them or the Saturday Night Fever Meets Midlife Crisis costume.

Makes me think of this

Saturday Night Fever Meets Midlife Crisis costume

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Joffrey, that is hilarious, although awful that you had to go through that . On a brighter note, what a marvellous Judge (and usher!). I guess the only plus point of having a dyed black ponytail hanging off a bald head is that he'll never have to trouble himself with roots issues....

Fontella

Your post had me belly laughing (wipes eyes) what a great mental image of you and him

FormidableMrsC I am lucky enough now that I never have to see him because our children are all adults. However, I don't think it is exaggeration or sour grapes on my part to say that last time I saw him he looked old enough to be my father and he is only five years older than me! He looks twenty years older than his age, easily.

One thing he did after we split which I always begged him not to was grow his hair long. He'd tried it before and it always got to a point where he resembled nothing quite so much as Isla St Clair circa 1980 and I'd refuse to be seen with him; it REALLY doesn't suit him.

Anyway, it was thus that I had my own court moment some years ago when he turned up what looked like it might have been his granddad's demob suit along with plaits and beads in his newly long hair. I only saw him as we were about to enter the court room and I had a devil of a job trying to supress the hysterical laughter that was bubbling in my chest, threatening to burst out of me the whole time we were in there. I stared at the floor because I knew if I looked at him again I wouldn't be able to control myself!

Are they fake tanning too? Maybe divorced men all get a smidgen of the Peter Andres

Mine started dressing up as a Star Wars character. Do I win?

Which one?! If it's Chewbacca or C3PO then yes, probably.

TeaOnEverest I fear that you have trumped us all

He'd tried it before and it always got to a point where he resembled nothing quite so much as Isla St Clair circa 1980 and I'd refuse to be seen with him

Oh these stories have made my Saturday! Thank you Ethelmercaptan...so funny!!

I think it's great that you all see the funny side and as for whoever said we encourage each other to have a make-over after a split, what a pile of shite!

I'm not sure which character exactly, bit one of the humans. Leather trousers involved. There are pictures of him online, in full regalia, cuddling someone dressed as chewbacca. He also has lots of Star Wars tattoos. He never even liked Star Wars when we were together, and he thought tattoos were disgusting

I am eternally grateful I dodged that bullet, he was a nasty bastard, but still half fascinated at his personality change. Really want to do a study on him and present it to my old anthropology tutor. It would be groundbreaking, I'm sure.

Tea...Han Solo??! I challenge you to go and buy a hairband that has Princess Leia hair attached and wear it the next time you answer the door. He will beat his chest and growl a bit .

It is indeed fascinating isn't it? I feel much the same about my ex, who also hated tats with a passion (particularly on women) and boob jobs. OW has both, in fact tats on her false boobs I am given to understand. It is amazing how they adjust their "tastes" when they need somewhere to cocklodge live!

How I would like to climb into his added little brain and do a spot of analysis pours more wine..........

Im loving this thread, all the comments are so funny.

OP my ex did very similar. I remember when he came to drop DS off when he was little. Ex was all done up like a dogs dinner in a silver/grey shiny skinny legged suit with winkle picker shoes. He looked like fekkin Robo Cop.
My next door neighbour knocked when he left as she had seen him out the window. We were absolutely crying. Her words were "ya cant polish a turd"

OH wants to know what I'm laughing at
This thread is too funny.

He looked like fekkin Robo Cop.

I am horrified at my spelling mishap Vocational, I meant "addled"...not "added". Indeed, what the feck, a huge waste of anybody's resources...who needs to analyse twats? I have had wine thus my "ardour" is cooled..... Looks forward to Star Wars sticker thesis

I call her my ghostie....chokes...

Mine bought a Lexus as opposed to pay for his son and discovered elasticated jean bottoms, not-quite-Adidas trainers, superdry and my hairdresser.

Where he got foils [cryingwithlaughter]

Superdry is very popular among middle aged ex husbands.
They should name it Midlife Crisis.

rename it.