AIBU to think i shouldn't have to put up with my job any more

[lisa2104]

I started my part time job two years ago. Every day I face some kind of negative comments and criticism. Mainly from one person bit occasionally my boss joins in. Sometimes it's fair other times not. Even when I do something good they find fault. I have only put up with it because of the hours 9-1 weekdays and because oh was planning on us moving. He has now found another job and we will be moving in a few months. I was meant to resign this month but he wants me to stick it out so we have some money in the pot. This is getting me down to the point where I talk about it all the time and we have arguments about it in front of 3 year old dd. Not blazing rows but there is tension. I feel I've had all I can take and I have reached my limit. I've tried blowing my top and I've tried not reacting. I can't win whatever I do as one minute I'm doing too much and next minute not using my initiative. Last summer I was leaving work in tears and whilst I've stopped that (apart from just before Christmas) I just can't stop thinking about it. Added into this is that I want to spend as much time as possible with dd before she starts school.

Because she's not sick Eits?.

I hate that reaction too, it makes people suffering from genuine illness look like they are swinging the lead and leads bad managers to feel justified.

It's better to either choose to deal with the issue via the proper channels or leave as OP plans.

Some could strongly argue that leaving work in tears daily amounts to stress which is technically an illness and worthy of being signed off for.

I agree that you are unwell - work related stress. You're having blazing rows about work with DH because you hate it there so much. You leave work crying.

You can self certify your absence for a week before you need a gp's note. If you really hate it but feel you must keep at it, take a week off sick if you need to.

So DH's new job means he gets a new job I assume he wants, and tgat means you can't give up work so what's in this for you? That wasn't what was agreed. He needs to think about the impact of his actions.

Work related stress is a recognised illness. Your GP will be understanding. I took time off and I made a complaint and was ready to take up a grievance. Ultimately mediation did the trick. The time off did make me feel better. Do not let them get away with this behaviour if you feel strong enough. It is a horrid situation to be in so best of luck to you. Sending you hugs and strength!

I do actually have an anxiety condition which I've never disclosed at work. Last summer they were micro managing me and I suffered very badly with the anxiety. I mentioned it and my manager said it sounded like an excuse! Exactly why I hadn't mentioned it. Confrontations make me feel like I'm having a panic attack although I have started to stand up for myself.

Oh and at Christmas they all went out and didn't invite me in fact lied to my face. Then there were posts on Facebook. When bitchface (ringleader) was off ill I commented on a colleagues post saying I was thinking of her and she ignored it! I don't understand what I have done to make her be like that with me. She is pretty lax with her job though so I can only think that's why. She loves everyone else in the office

Maybe they feel threatened by you? I had this from a previous boss. I did not realise ho bad it was until he left. His replacement was fine so I knew it was not me.

Also. It's not up to your husband if you stay there or not. It's only p/t and so the money won't be that much.You can be in control of this if you want to.

If they see you as a pushover then they will continue to bully you. Raise the grievance if you have to stay, going further up the chain if everyone is in cahoots

I feel your pain OP, going trrpugh this myself ATM- see my post 'WIBU to quit my job?' It is horrible, it affects you completely and seeps into every area of your life.

If it's only for a couple more months & you've stuck it this long, I'd try and see it through I think and walk out if it becomes unbearable.

The highest up I can go is practice manager who also really likes her. I can't explain it but I just know I won't be able to think of any examples. She'll call this bitch in and she'll talk herself out of it. Once I stormed off crying and she came after me hugging me and saying she didn't mean to upset me. I know that will happen and then it will just be swept under the carpet. I hate it but that is the way it will go. DH thinks I'm being over sensitive and he said he will be annoyed with me for making us lose money.

And it's now four months because he can't hand in his notice for one month then he has to be in this new job for three months before he can move to the new office.

Yes, when I mentioned perspective it was only that many work places can make you feel you've signed your life over to them if that makes sense.
There is more to your life than your working life, especially as you're not planning to stay there long anyway.

Start mentally leaving that job even if you don't do so physically for however many more weeks ... or days!

What are you thinking of doing next? - start thinking towards the future is my advice

To be fair it's only really the one woman who is nasty to me no sometimes the boss diffuses the situation. I think in the latest instance she heard selective words and made her conclusion. And I did stand up for myself a bit. I'm just feeling pissed off because I try to help people and do the right thing and get kicked in the teeth for it. They have just lost one of us to a promotion so maybe they don't want me having y finger in too many pies, as it were

Thanks juggling. They are weird because if ever have to take time off with my dd they're brilliant. I am just going to do exactly what is required of me and grit my teeth. I'm irritated because I could've looked for another job ages ago but I am trapped a bit as I can only do certain hours etc. This woman just has strange ideas in her mind about people and I think she thinks I'm lazy and stuff. Anyway she will always be her and I won't always be there. I just know she could benefit from getting on with me and funnily enough she made a similar speech to me ages ago. I would like to do something in healthcare after this.

And just to give the situation a bit of background we have got a good deal from Dh new job so he would be an idiot not to take it. And I suppose I would make a tidy bit of money from sticking this out I just feel what price is a bit of dignity? And if I stomp out now they will definitely have won.

It's not unreasonable of your H to want you to keep your job IMO, unless you get a new one. One partner being a SAHP is something both need to be OK with.

It is hard to put in a grievance, but it is likely to be the most sensible way to deal with the situation.

Going off sick might be necessary if you feel unwell, but could lead to attendance monitoring etc and be mentioned in a reference to a potential future employer. It's also still likely to be sensible to seek to resolve the issues at work through discussion/the grievance process.

If I were you I would resign and temp for a few months.

"Anyway she will always be her and I won't always be there"

See, classic, wise words there - from yourself

Thanks for all your comments. I felt so much better from it. Putting in a grievance is sensible on paper but she is just so close to everyone I really think it will make it worse. I think it just got on top of me this week. If she speaks rudely to me again I will take it up with her.