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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not buy DD a pet I'm scared of?

121 replies

Fink · 17/02/2016 16:38

DD (6) wants some sort of lizard as a pet, a bearded dragon to be precise. Bless her, she is trying to be considerate as I am allergic to pet hair (as is she) so we can't have any of the more normal pets (her first choices were guinea pig or rabbit, both of which I would have been fine with were it not for the allergy). However, I am freaked out by the things.

You have to feed them live insects, which I wouldn't look forward to (to say the least). You have to handle them for a considerable amount of time each day. I am really not a reptile lover. Not exactly phobic, but really not a fan.

My current thinking is that I would get her one, if she still wants it, when she's old enough to look after it without me having to handle it (I have no clear idea of what sort of age this would be). I could cope with having it in the house so long as I didn't actually have to touch it. Due to space restrictions, we would probably have to keep the vivarium in my office/study, which I wouldn't be overjoyed about but I can imagine putting up with.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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SitsOnFence · 17/02/2016 19:12

Buying any type of pet for a six year old is not a good idea really unless you are prepared to be the main carer.

This!

If you are still keen to get some sort of pet, consider rehoming some ex battery hens. Ours are surprisingly cuddly due to being hybrids; they are bred to be docile and lay lots of eggs. Plus, once you've sorted somewhere for them to live, they pretty much cover their costs in eggs.

SoThatHappened · 17/02/2016 19:17

How about a nice new toy? Something she has been on about or wants?

Tell she cant have a pet. She is too young and sounds far too complicated.

NeedACleverNN · 17/02/2016 19:32

Do not get a hedgehog.

APH are incredibly difficult to keep. You need to get all their protein and food diet correct aswell as heat.

They need a lot of exercise and they poo whilst excercising and it stinks so need continuous cleaning.

When they quill (loose baby quills to get adults) they are very temperamental and need bathing in soothing bath products as it's very itritating for them.

Some can be very pleasant but some never really become tameable and are continuesly huffy.

Mine was ok to be handled in small doses but when he has enough you knew about it

paxillin · 17/02/2016 19:33

Agree. Just tell her no. Most kids are too young until 10, quite a few lose interest at 13.

This is one of those points were kids shouldn't have a say.

lavenderhoney · 17/02/2016 19:39

What about a bird table and she has to go out in all weathers before school and put food out? She can watch from the window whilst eating her breakfast and keep a record of the birds.

Failing that I am now main carer of two rabbits. Ds gives me his pocket money to feed them in the mornings before school. And he handed me £5 last weekend to pay me to clean them out. Rabbits are nice, so, feel free to pm me:) :)

spiderlight · 17/02/2016 19:46

Not all labradoodles are hypoallergenic, and many of them have very high-maintenance double coats that require intensive daily grooming and are very prone to matting.

Sallyingforth · 17/02/2016 19:55

Tarantulas make great pets. They don't smell at all, rarely need cleaning out, and you can leave them for a couple of weeks with food and water when you go on holiday.

TooOldForGlitter · 17/02/2016 20:04

Don't get a pet for a six year old. Get a pet because you want one, it will be your pet if the child is six. And research it. I can't believe how many people are just throwing out suggestions like it's picking sweeties. These are living creatures and their care should be properly researched.

hiddenhome2 · 17/02/2016 20:27

What, actual living creatures you say? Not disposable items? Well, bugger me

Seriously, I think people here are more sophisticated than that

pookamoo · 17/02/2016 20:28

Really, don't get a tortoise as pp suggest. They are far more high maintenance than you might think. They also need heat lamps and a lot of care. Plus they can live for up to 100 years!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/02/2016 20:42

My DD got guinea-pigs when she was 9yo (I kept piggies for years so I was well on board )

She's now 13.6yo and she's excellant BUT I do about 60% + of the PigWork .( DD has 2 pigs , I have 1 )

I would never entertain a Skinny (I was almost tricked into 'adopting' one but that's another story)

They are £££. You're looking at £75-£100 rather than £20 for the furry kind.
They need to be indoors, they die if they get cold. They eat more. You need to maintain their skin.
Their bedding isn't the same but all piggies need hay (the main allergen) so you need to ensure they don't injure themselves.

I think the answer has to be "No" really.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/02/2016 20:45

lavender I'm doing it wrong
I put the piggies out (after getting their house ready at 6.30 am) and feed them. DD feeds at night.
When I was away, she did it all (good girl) and my guinea-pig 'bought' her chocolate.
I want £5 now

Xmasbaby11 · 17/02/2016 20:53

Honestly, in your situation I wouldn't buy her a pet. Take her regularly to farms and zoos if that's her interest. But it's your home and you looking after it. I wouldn't want any of the pets you're talking about. You're the adult. It's your decision.

coffeeisnectar · 17/02/2016 21:01

Why do people think fish are an easy or cheap option?

We have two tanks, one tropical fish and one with dwarf frogs and fish. Both tanks need flake, bloodworm and pellets put in daily. We have to check the water for ph levels regularly, clean the filter out and do partial water changes too. Between the tanks, filters, heaters, aeration systems and food I don't think we've got much left out of a few hundred quid. Not to mention live plants and the cost of the fish themselves. And the timers to turn it all on and off.

I despair when people buy two goldfish and just put them in a small bowl. Then wonder why they die six weeks later.

All animals need a habitat that meets their needs, the right food, the right care and time spent on them. If you can't provide all that, don't get a pet.

TooOldForGlitter · 17/02/2016 21:12

Do you think people are more sophisticated than that? I don't. I think it's extremely commonplace for people to treat pets as disposeable.

MirandaGoshawk · 17/02/2016 21:15

I have a friend whose DD bulllied her into getting a parrot. Friend didn't want to but after DDs months of begging. pleading, whining etc, bought parrot. The DD lost interest within a fortnight and friend is now lumbered. Please take note and please don't get an 'exotic' pet like a lizard! They are not suitable for children and require very precise living conditions or they dont thrive. Lots get abandoned .

I agree with xmasbaby - take her to farms and zoos. Possible to 'adopt' something locally and go & visit it?

BananaJane · 17/02/2016 21:17

Please don't get her a hamster - I have three, all of which were unwanted pets. Two after the kids they were bought for lost interest. Your talking at least £70-£80 for an appropriate sized cage (not one of the titchy things from pets at home) plus toys, a good sized wheel etc just to start you off. They need handling every evening, feeding daily and cleaning out every other week as a minimum.

They make terrible pets for children due to them being nocturnal and hence no fun until the kids have gone to bed. Sadly a lot of people don't realize this when they buy them and the result is a lot of unwanted Hamsters after the novelty wears off

HelenF35 · 17/02/2016 21:21

Bearded dragons are lovely pets but difficult for a child. There really is no need to be scared of them though, they are generally very docile. How about a leopard gecko? They are much easier.

hiddenhome2 · 17/02/2016 21:21

Do you think people are more sophisticated than that? I don't. I think it's extremely commonplace for people to treat pets as disposable.

I think the people on this thread aren't coming across like that. What type of forums do you usually hang around on?

lavenderhoney · 17/02/2016 21:40

70, i just thought ds needs to learn if he wants to outsource his pet care it costs money:) Interestingly, I said " if you ever have children will you get them a rabbit or two because they love bunnies and promise to care for them etc etc?"

And he looked at me as if I was mad ( he laughed, actually, quite incredulously) and said "No way, but er, thanks mum"

Sometimes we job swap and he gets dd breakfast ( he is almost 9) in return for rabbit duty.

Original poster

Fink · 17/02/2016 21:42

Thanks everyone. I think the consensus is no pet for the moment, although some of the ideas were very tempting. I don't mind being primary caregiver for something I'm neither scared of nor allergic to (chickens, hedgehogs ...) but I do wonder a bit what the point is if dd is unlikely to be engaged for very long. We already have a load of bird feeders up, a resident fox (one of the reasons why chickens probably wouldn't work), a few frogs, and a recurring problem with mice so maybe that's enough fauna to be going on with.

OP posts:

lavenderhoney · 17/02/2016 21:47

Get her to do the bird feeders and get a bird table/ bird bath. Homework will ramp up soon, or maybe she can do ballet or something instead?

I dug a small pond for the dc and we now have frogs, a toad, wild garden, veggies, no hassle except for organising a neighbour re the bunnies if we do go away.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 17/02/2016 22:00

They don't make fish like they used to.

I remember winning goldfish at the fair. The first one, I brought home in a plastic bag and decanted it into my mums best salad bowl. He duly got transferred into a proper fishbowl brought from the pet shop. The following year he was joined by a friend (another prize in a bag). They lasted years.

Unlike the namby pamby ones we bought for DS2 a few years ago - along with all the proper stuff like filters and suchlike. We did it all by the book but they were determined to die....and they did. Within weeks 🙄

TooOldForGlitter · 17/02/2016 22:11

You're going to have to find someone else to have a bunfight with hidden. If you'd like to see the disposable nature of pets then look at the many many threads on here going back as far as you care to go, look on facebook, gumtree, preloved, pets4homes, any local rescue centre, shop adverts etc. I fail to see why you have a problem with me pointing out that getting a reptile/pygmy hedgehog/labradoodle for a child might not be wise but what do I know. I'll leave you to it.

Stratter5 · 17/02/2016 22:18

Can I just dispel the myth that hairless animals are hypoallergenic. They're NOT. You might be lucky, and not be allergic, or you could very easily become allergic.

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