Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Booking a wedding when not divorced

42 replies

PotterBot · 17/02/2016 07:50

Posting here for traffic and on behalf of a friend!

Soon to be exh is getting remarried very soon, but has done nothing to push divorce along despite my friends constant chasing/solicitor meetings etc.

It is now looking like divorce won't be finalised by the time of wedding.

Exh now screaming about suing for the cost of the wedding. This can't be right surely?

Solicitor doesn't seem to think so, seems to think it's consequential loss but what about small claims court? Any one have any experience.

I guess the aibu bit is to not book a wedding when divorce is not final.

OP posts:

Trumpton · 17/02/2016 08:55

I have two wedding certificates for my grandfather and his second wife. The first one is dated three weeks before his decree absolute came through in Engand. The second one on his home island ( not UK but still British Isles ) . We think that he probably told his second wife that they needed a wedding here as the UK one was not valid here 😀

This was in the 1940s and he had asked my mother (18 years old at the time ) to say that her mother had died ! granny lived until the 1970s but was hospitalised all that time ...so sad.

Sorry for slight detour there !

MadisonMontgomery · 17/02/2016 08:56

As long as she hasn't done anything to hold the divorce up I can't see he would have a leg to stand on. Think the moral of the story is don't commit adultery!

diddl · 17/02/2016 09:08

She's divorcing him.

What if she had to put a hold on it for some reason?

She is under no obligation to make sure it happens within a certain timeframe, is she?

He's an absolute arse, isn't he?

hereiamagain22 · 17/02/2016 09:11

It isn't possible for him to have got the marriage licence without proof of the divorce, so he hasn't booked a wedding, he's booked a party. Tough shit.

She should just ignore him and refer him to her solicitor.

blindsider · 17/02/2016 09:13

He hasn't a hope in hell of claiming his cancelled wedding from your friend. He deserves to be penalised for his indecent haste. What a numpty.

GruntledOne · 17/02/2016 09:15

It would be nice to think that his fiancée would see the light and regard this as a godsent revelation of what life would be like if she married him, and run for the hills. I wonder if he'd be twat enough to try to sue for that as well.

merseyside · 17/02/2016 09:16

Agreed, she could call the entire divorce off if she wanted to. He can't sue her for NOT doing something which she's NOT legally obliged to do.

What a dick. She's well shot of him.

Oysterbabe · 17/02/2016 09:22

You can't book a registrar without proof of divorce so they can't have done that yet.

diddl · 17/02/2016 09:23

How much of these records are online now?

Just thinking if he didn't declare his first marrige, who is to know?
(not recommending or condoning that btw!)

Do they check?

Obvs that wouldn't work in a place where he is known, but are they always relying on the people wanting to marry to be honest?

Original poster

PotterBot · 17/02/2016 09:26

They are getting married abroad as far as I know, Cyprus I think.

OP posts:

MsRinky · 17/02/2016 09:29

My parents once went to a "wedding" where the groom's divorce had not come through in time. They obviously couldn't have the actual ceremony, so a friend acted as "registrar" for the "wedding" bit which was followed by the full reception. They actually got married a few weeks later, once the groom was actually divorced.

It was apparently a very jolly occasion. Marriage didn't last long though.

MackerelOfFact · 17/02/2016 09:47

Sounds to me like the wife-to-be doesn't know that the divorce hasn't been finalised and he's panicking about how he's going to explain to her why they can't get married!

What an arse. I can't see how he can possibly sue anyone over this - not least because there is absolutely nothing stopping him going ahead with the party side of things!

ChristmasZombie · 17/02/2016 09:58

Does the new wife even know he's still married?
This was my first thought.
He sounds like an idiot, a nasty piece of work, or both. I think your friend should just step back and let the solicitor handle it now, and save herself the stress.

Original poster

PotterBot · 17/02/2016 10:00

I don't know what the wife to be knows or doesn't know. As far as she can glean the wedding plans have been full steam ahead for months.

OP posts:

jay55 · 17/02/2016 10:06

god I'd turn into a snail if I was her. As they're still married can she claim half the reception booze......

Rememberallball · 21/02/2016 11:28

DH and I booked our wedding before his divorce was finalised - it wasn't even in the process of being sorted in fact but that's another tale!!

We booked a September wedding in January and he sent off his paperwork the following day. There were a few delays along the way ancestors had to get a number of extensions on the date for submitting paperwork to the registrar. We finally had everything organised about July and then had the appointment with the registrar presenting his decree absolute which had been finalised 10 days previously.

The registrar did tell us that you usually have to have the decree nisi through before they allow you to book the slot so we were very lucky to have been allowed. It was the only stress in the run up to the wedding!!

LongHardStare · 21/02/2016 11:41

Does he actually want to get married again? It doesn't look much like it. Perhaps he is hoping it will all have to be cancelled and he can make out to his fiancée that your friend is the evil cause not him.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread