To want to pay for wedding guest's accommodation?

[KensingtonLou]

DP and I getting married next year. We live in the UK but are planning to get married in his home country (Northern Europe) the majority of guests will be from my side as I have a large extended family, and will be traveling from the UK.

My question is - AIBU to want to pay for people's hotel accommodation for the weekend? It's my choice to have a destination wedding and I know it's a big ask to ask people to book a day off work, pay to fly there etc. I don't feel comfortable asking them to cover hotels as an additional expense. And I want them to actually come!

Or is us paying for Friday-Sunday of food/drink/entertainment in a great venue enough?

FWIW I have consulted some bridal forums and the consensus is "Forking out for a hotel room is the least someone can do for your wedding" and "Don't get tied up in nonsense. It's so easy to think that we should do more for our guests (I am guilty of it too) but really, this is YOUR day and remember you need YOUR money for YOUR honeymoon too! :) x"

It would be very considerate of you. I'd certainly have to think twice about the cost before accepting an overseas wedding invitation and this would be a help.

I think it's a lovely idea.

I think a lot of it also depends on how you view your wedding. I know people who viewed that their wedding was only for them. Their outfits, their food choices, their big day. Whereas for me my wedding wouldn't have been worth a jot to me if I didn't have certain people there. I think weddings are the only social occasion where it is acceptable to pretty much have no consideration for your guests at all. Which is fine if you are just inviting them, but if you view your invitation to your wedding, on a Wednesday in middle of July, in a field second left after the arse end of nowhere just because it's pretty, as an obligation then at least give the guests some consideration.

If you want them to come, and you can afford it then go for it.

FWIW we've had this kind of offer twice. The first time there was no way we could afford to go and our relation was desperate for us to go so we accepted. The second we were in a better position and were able to say "Don't be daft, we'll be there - send me the booking details."