to speak to my neighbour about his disgusting habits?!

[shoeaddict83]

Hoping for some constructive advice or suggestions on how to deal with this!

We live in a semi-detached townhouse in a new estate, we moved in 2 years ago the day the build was complete, and our neighbours did the same the day after. They seem a nice couple with a young daughter, we nod and say hello if we cross paths outside and take parcels in for each other etc but are not on overly friendly terms, they are a polish couple which is only relevant in that they don’t speak English very well so communication really is at a minimum.

The only issue we have with them is that they both smoke, which wouldn’t be a problem at all, except the husband regularly (im talking 6 out of 7 days a week) smokes outside their back door in the early or very late hours of the morning and (not really sure how to describe this) but basically hacks his guts up for about 20 mins. He clears his throat and you can hear him gathering crap in it and spitting it out over and over again, it just sounds vile. Its that loud it literally wakes us up at all hours, in the hot summer were forced to sleep with windows shut to try to block him out but its that loud we can hear it thorough closed double glazed windows. I have tried slamming the windows shut when he starts to drive the point home that its waking us up but clearly has done nothing.
My brother used to smoke and when we both lived at home I remember always hearing him in the bathroom doing the same thing trying to clear the gunk and tar or whatever out his throat so im positive it must be due to the smoking.

We need to broach the subject as its not only absolutely disgusting to lay in bed listening to or to be woken up by, but some days its 3 or 4 am, so to be woken up by that then try to get back to sleep for work at 6am is causing us both to get very cranky with interrupted nights sleep. Sometimes its around the same time we have breakfast too and listening to that is enough to stop you eating.
Any suggestions as its not exactly as easy thing to go round and mention ‘excuse me but please could you stop hacking your guts up in your garden every day?!’ so not sure how to word it!!!

i read that spitting in public is against the law due to spread of disease-but doubt it applies to his garden? A window fan is good for disguising noise . Maybe check with health authorities.

thanks all you lovely MNers!. I will try biting the bullet and speaking to them and see if i get anywhere. Just sick of being knackered at work coz some inconsiderate t**t wants to cough his guts up outside at all hours!! If they still dont stop then guess will have to explore the things others have suggested.

probably not constructive, but i've been putting up with that shit from my neighbour for YEARS

i got so pissed off with it at one point as she was keeping my kids awake, i went around and yelled through the letter box at 2am something to the tune of 'if you don't stop that fucking racket i will force feed you my sons lactulose. Lets see you cough then, bitch!"

not my proudest moment, but well.. the coughing stopped for a while...

Look in some ways you have no right to be upset with him because you have not even told him this is affecting you sooo badly.

do that first and see where you get. they may be mortified that not only can you hear it but are so affected by it.

whether the cough is cultural or a smokers cough or something else is beside the point. is regular noise thats affecting your day to day life.

let him know - kindly - he doesnt realise his noise impact remember then go from there.

amouse i wasnt planning on steaming round there and acting upset, as i stated earlier i dont want to fall out with them i just didnt know how to word it given what the issue is, so was asking for help!
I am going to try speaking to them politely and explain its waking us up nearly every night and see what happens.

amarmai I hope people with lung conditions are exempt. Ive trained DS to spit in gutters and now he has a spit pot from the hospital.

As somebody who knows many many Polish people and visited Poland a lot, I can say that this is in no way a cultural thing. Not quite sure why anybody what think it was to be honest, never seen it done by Poles before.

Next time, open the window and ask him to be quiet. Repeat as necessary. You may not need to speak to him about it, hopefully he'll get the message from multiple shhhhhhhhes.

every time he wakes you up turn on the lights and open the curtains and look at him. keep light on until he goes back inside. keep it up for a few days. he'll realise he's waking you up.