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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re drinking with DCs

39 replies

TickledOnion · 13/02/2016 21:46

I'm a single parent with 2 DCs age 4 & 6. A couple of times we have been to a party/family gathering at a particular family member's house. Both times she has suggested I have a few drinks and get a taxi home. I'm happy to have one drink before the meal but hate the thought of being too drunk to drive in charge of the DCs. Other family members think I'm a bit boring though there's never any pressure. They are all couples so maybe 2 drunk parents is less of a problem or maybe 1 stays sober. Even when there is no driving involved I don't think I'd enjoy putting my kids to bed feeling tipsy. AIBU?

OP posts:

Lurkedforever1 · 13/02/2016 23:01

My only concern about drinking and sole charge of a young child was the fear that without needing to be anywhere near the unfit stage, I'd be in too deep a sleep to hear a problem straight off in the night. I do think too there is a big gap between what I'd drink and drive, and what I can drink without any difference to normal behavior/ reactions. And its only occasionally that I've felt like drinking past the one for the taste level, so wasn't an issue.

That said, it's not boring if someone doesn't want to drink, or bad parenting to have a few as long as you're in a fit state if needed.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2016 23:02

Laughing here at 'men'

Xmasbaby11 · 13/02/2016 23:04

Yanbu. I would probably feel ok to have a few drinks but not be completely drunk. In worst case scenario we could get a taxi - they arrive within minutes - and be at children's a and e in 10 mins. It's only 3 miles away.I have a Dh anyway but we sometimes both drink at home and would be over the limit but not drunk.

AnnieOnnieMouse · 13/02/2016 23:04

I always stayed fit to drive when mine were young. It's a long way to hospital from here, and just as long back! We've had times when one adult went in ambulance with child, other in car, so we could all come home again, or dash home for supplies. As a SP, Op has no-one immediately on hand to do that. Around here you'd have to call a taxi to come from the city to take you there, that could easily take an hour. - Tho the cost of parking at some hospitals, 2 hours of taxi fare might be cheaper!
Also I don't see why these people think you ought to drink to provide entertainment for them.

Spaghettii · 13/02/2016 23:05

Altctrldel that must have been really awful. for you.

It must be every parents nightmare situation. Just out of interest, did that incident make them change the way they drank? Ie one stays sober if the other one is drinking?

Hope your brother has been fine since

SolidGoldBrass · 13/02/2016 23:23

You say they think you are boring, but there's no pressure. Could it be that you never shut up about the fact that you won't have another drink in case you have to drive? While it is entirely up to you to set your own limits, if your every visit turns into a discussion about whether or not a parent can ever have a sip of sherry in case they have to drive around the world for the sake of their precious darlings, then perhaps your family members have a point.

Muskateersmummy · 14/02/2016 10:36

The you soon sober up thing worries me as you may but your blood alcohol level won't so you still shouldn't drive no matter how sober you suddenly feel. So I guess people aren't meaning they would drive ? I do however that agree you would sober up enough to do what you needed to look after your child.

Drinking is a totally personal thing. I don't drink much out of choice, and I really hate the "your old and boring and no fun" pressuring comments from people like op's friends. Why does having fun have to revolve around drinking?

squoosh · 14/02/2016 11:31

But she said there isn't any pressure from her friends.

NeedSomePeaceAndQuite · 14/02/2016 11:44

If I'm out at a party then I just won't drink, I wouldn't be happy having more then 1 or 2 and then I couldn't drive and I don't see the point in paying for taxis for the sake of 2 drinks

I do however have a couple of glasses of wine when I'm home and DC in bed I don't get drunk and don't think much can go wrong if she was already abit off sorts or poorly I wouldn't drink anyway

Gobbolino6 · 14/02/2016 12:01

I drink with the kids present on occasion...my max is 3 but then it always is now I'm old .

Twinklestar2 · 14/02/2016 12:03

I never know if my son is going to get me up in the middle of the night! So I don't get drunk unless I'm staying away from home.

SmallBee · 14/02/2016 12:07

YANBU, if you don't want a drink you don't have to have one. Regardless of if you have two DC's to look after or are on a hen weekend or anything in between.
I hate this country's attitude to alcohol and that often people consider you no fun if you're sober. I don't drink because I don't like it and the amount of times I have to defend this decision is just silly.
Grumpy rant over

MrsJayy · 14/02/2016 12:14

Yanbu i wouldnt want to be in sole charge of little children if i had a few taking your car just makes sense to me having a few at home if they are in bed is different to trying to get home and get them to bed if you had a few

BolshierAryaStark · 14/02/2016 12:14

Yep, tipsy to sober is definitely lightning speed should your child need you & A&E, I can state this as fact unfortunately after a 3am trip there.
OP you should do what you feel comfortable with.

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