To give up on nursery and early years education...

[SexDrugsAndSausageRoll]

(Worth noting, there is no other provision I can get her two around the school run, even if they did have spaces. I've REALLY looked. This place or at home, she's been there since September)

For these reasons:

-feedback is always simply in relation to development matters, e.g. quote such as 'can use media...' rather than day to day she's happy/ can make friends/ talks/ joins in... the stuff I actually care about. I ask but the whole set up is not condusive to chat, hard to collar staff who are all busy in roles. Ofsted is good, all the boxes are there, but there's not a real care I feel

-on full days I get back a disturbed rather than an eaten packed lunch (they know she eats no breakfast usually refusing it) without a comment. That's until 3pm with only snacks. But I found out she doesn't often agree to snacks either, only told as questioned, I presumed that the kind of thing I'd be told. She'd cry on the way home hungry and tired (when mentioned it's do yout need a referral to a dietician...see below)

-dd is behind, I know, the feedback is only ever 'do you need a referral to...', well fine but with MASSIVE waiting lists I'd like to actually discuss here/ now and have a way forward/ work together. If they looked they'd see I told them many referrals had already been made prior to starting!

-she's got very little speech, but is apparently 'happy' there. Yet she sobs when taken and I've NEVER heard her utter a word when I'm there. One day over a term in I was told 'she's made a friend now!'... so noone bothered to tell me before she didn't interact (she does a bit elsewhere so I didn't think to ask).

I don't feel like trying to work through it anymore, it's not compulsory and I'm confident I can provide all the opportunities through playgroup/ local places/ friends etc. I want an honest normal discussion on how she is, just the day to day is she happy and care. It feels like the children are just jugs to be filled with 'opportunities'/ 'skills' from a tick box but even if that child doesn't fit they just plow on the same nowadays. E.g. it's not a measurable outcome that she doesn't know the name of a single child r adult after 5 months

Yet it seems to be a big thing that I'm not going to access early years funding and I'm not therefore going to meet needs

(I guess I'm ranting)

I wouldn't bother if you don't need to for work, far from essential.

I don't think you're BU. It's the fact that she seems unhappy there. It is true that on average, 3 year olds do best when accessing some provision, but that doesn't mean all 3 year olds will. As with so much regarding parenting choices etc, 'if all else is equal x is best'... but all else is never equal is it! Children are ready for group care/education at such different ages. She can socialise with other children at groups, she's happier with you, so go with your gut.

Do you have contact with a family support worker to help you access the SENCO/SALT if you are struggling with that? They might have some recommendations for childcare provision.

When is she due to start school? If you think she may need extra support when she starts school it may be more difficult to get if she has not attended nursery because of lack of evidence.

Is it a school nursery? Any learning issues are dealt with much better than a daycare setting Imo.

You nursery (though it sounds more like a playgroup) isn't very good.
feedback is always simply in relation to development matters... - Emotional and social development is the main plus point of a nursery. If they dismiss that they're just not doing their job.

That's until 3pm with only snacks. But I found out she doesn't often agree to snacks either, only told as questioned, I presumed that the kind of thing I'd be told. She'd cry on the way home hungry and tired... - That's lack of basic physical care. A child needs to be feel safe, content and happy before ANYTHING ELSE.

dd is behind - Then what are THEY doing about it? Are there IEP (Individual Education Plans) in place?

...so noone bothered to tell me before she didn't interact... Lack of honesty/communication.

Most nurseries aren't good. Unfortunately there is no effective monitoring to identify the good ones from the bad ones. Bad nurseries thrive because parents/customers can't tell good from bad, or are so desperate for any care they put up with bad nurseries.

Have to stop now as I'm starting to envisage finding this nursery and smashing it up with an axe. (Outside working hours of course)