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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go and buy a lock?

84 replies

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/02/2016 08:39

For my fridge.

To stop my 12 year old stealing food and lying about it. With his mouth full of said food. All smeared round his face and dropped on the floor and over the clean laundry that was waiting to go in the drier...

It's not a hunger thing. It's a cheese thing. He can eat his dinner (generally a good eater, not fussy) then as soon as I leave the room, he is stuffing his face with cheese.

I try not to buy it too often, as he just eats the lot. But if we have pizza or baked potato, I buy some.

OP posts:
Buxtonstill · 13/02/2016 13:58

Why should you stop buying cheese? I don't think that is the biggest problem tbh. He needs to be taught that his behaviour is not acceptable, either the consumption of foods when you have asked him not to, or lying to you.
You need to punish these actions, by witholding privileges, or PC/games time so he understands there consequences for his actions; for his own sake. If he steals and lies at school/work the consequences could be a lot graver. You have to teach him its wrong.
Sweets/Crisps in shops are locked down - imagine how awful you would feel if you got a call from the police to say he had been caught shop lifting.
It is your responsibilty to teach him right from wrong. Fitting a lock to the fridge is not an answer.

Buxtonstill · 13/02/2016 14:01

sweets are 'not' locked down

LongHardStare · 13/02/2016 14:27

You're taking about bags of cheese OP - does that mean you're buying ready grated? If so, the convenience of it might have something to do with his choice. Is it the only food in the kitchen he can grab and eat? What about buying blocks of hard cheese instead and at the same time having lots of easy and ready to eat snacks like fruit and crudites available which he is allowed to help himself to.

DirtyHarrietOnABike · 13/02/2016 15:53

Always amazes me when people brag that they live on a (say) £50 grocery budget. Here is a good example how they do it - by underfeeding their kids. Who said hunger only existed in Africa?

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 13/02/2016 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2016 16:11

What if she cannot afford to sustain that level of eating?

Chicagomd · 13/02/2016 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2016 16:25

'Then surely she should cut out other things from her life to provide a level of food that means her child is not hungry?'

Sometimes that is not possible. Plenty of people all over the world don't have access to insane levels of food and are not harmed by this.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 13/02/2016 16:26

It's not punishing that is wrong to be hungry, it's wrong to steal food allocated for something else and then lie about it Hmm

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/02/2016 16:29

We had just got in from a sport last night.
Ds grabbed a pot-noodle thing and asked if he could have It as he was staaaaaarving.

I said yes, go and put the kettle on. I will take dd to the toilet and join you in the kitchen. And put your sport kit in the wash as you are going there...

Came out of the bathroom, fell over abandoned kit. Found him by the fridge, cheese everywhere.

Ther is always fruit, bread, carrots, potatoes, cans of beans. Baby bels, other individual portion size cheese.

Plenty of stuff to snack on. Especially when you are about to have a pot noodle!

Yes, I had bought some ready grated cheese for pizza.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 13/02/2016 16:35

So what's the repercussions of lying and not doing what he is told. The issue isn't the cheese, it's his behaviour...

DirtyHarrietOnABike · 13/02/2016 16:37

Children sometimes lie to avoid consequences. Hungry people sometimes steal food.

We don't know enough to judge this situation. Just guessing.

My guess is a lock on the fridge or further restrictions are only going to make the issue worse.

OP, your son's behaviour has a reason. Find out that reason and deal with it. Do not leave your child hungry. This is not the solution in modern day Britain.

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/02/2016 16:50

I wasn't leaving him hungry. He had eaten a meal before sport and was preparing himself a pot noodle!

The repercussion is no phone.

What more do you want to know?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/02/2016 16:52

Is reason is "I like cheese. I can eat it all, as you are in another room and didn't see me"

I can get away with it, because I want to.

OP posts:
Buxtonstill · 13/02/2016 17:03

You would not be punishing a child for being hungry, you would be punishing for disobedience, and deceit.

'I can get away with it, because I want to'

and because you let him...

Chippednailvarnish · 13/02/2016 17:13

Totally agree with Buxton.

MsJamieFraser · 13/02/2016 17:23

Mabey, its just me, but this would not bother me, he's a "teen", and a growing one at that.

MsJamieFraser · 13/02/2016 17:26

sorry but a processed pot noddle type dish is not going to fill an active child.

the cheese would not bother me, but the pot noodle processed shit would, its not a substantial meal!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/02/2016 17:43

How can you possibly punish a child and teach them it is wrong to be hungry?

There is a school of thought that it's incredibly wrong to teach a child that they need to eat an entire pizza as a snack before a normal dinner,or that they need half a loaf of toast after a bowl of porridge.

Both health and emotional wise.

Pidapie · 13/02/2016 18:03

Maybe he's an obsessive eater rather than a "selfish, lying child" like some other comments here says. I am an obsessive eater and I will just eat 1 particular item until I feel sick, because I can't stop myself. It's not greed, it's not being selfish, it's a problem that needs fixing. He's probably not eating out of hunger, but to kill whatever he might not want to feel. If that makes sense at all.

jay55 · 13/02/2016 18:07

Freeze it. Grated cheese freezes really well.

MummySparkle · 13/02/2016 18:14

Are you buying grated cheese or blocks of cheese? Grated cheese is very easy to 'just eat a bit' and then realise there's none left... Blush

A block requires much more effort! Could you perhaps buy him some babybels and say you'll buy a certain amount of them each week and it's up to him to spread them out evenly, or eat them all in one go and wait a week.

I went through a phase of eating slices of ham straight out of the packet as a teen. Didn't last too long though

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/02/2016 18:27

We have baby bels. We have plenty of other snacks.

The pot noodle thing was only a start, he had eaten 3 meals already yesterday!

No idea how he eats them, they are awful!

It should have kept him full enough for me to find something better! Less than 10 minutes. He usually has beans and toast.

OP posts:
abbsismyhero · 13/02/2016 18:28

didn't the op say he had cheese of his own he could have eaten?

punish the lying

while its technically not stealing to eat food when you're hungry in your own home its a piss take to take food without asking and especially when you have your own my dd has chocolate in her room if she unilaterally decided to walk into mine and scoff her way through mine because she felt like it i would be pissed off and she would know about it

and make him rewash the washing and clean his fucking mess up while he is at it no need for this shit at 12

Original poster
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 13/02/2016 18:28

I bought grated, specifically for the pizza.

He knew that. He chose it!

Usually buy a block... But the grated was on offer.

OP posts: