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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this woman at soft play was totally out of order?

52 replies

hypermum1 · 12/02/2016 14:53

so, i was at soft play with my2 year old daughter this morning, its a session we go to weekly and have done for ages. Anyway, long story short, my little girl pushed another child. Before I could get to her to tell her off, the mother of the child shoved my daughter and shouted no at her! i let it go and took my daughter away and told her in no uncertain terms that it was not acceptable to push people and to play nicely or we would be leaving. Inevitibly we came across the child again and this time he fell over my feet but the mother thought shed pushed him again and went in to one. She told me my daughter was a horrible little girl (in front of her), and that I should teach her some manners and I was a silly bitch! I was so shocked I was shaking. we left immediately but I did go back when I d calmed down to make a complaint about her. She totally over reacted! Yes my daughter should not have pushed her son but she is 2! She is learning what is and what isnt acceptable. and I repremanded her immdiately! She has been on the receiving end of plenty of slaps, pushes and pinches from other children. It happens. Im still shaking now and am now really worried about going back in case this awful woman is there!!!!!

OP posts:
Hippahippahey · 12/02/2016 16:29

Think not honk!

ricketytickety · 12/02/2016 16:31

A two finger shove is pushing someone with your two fingers, usually shoulder or chest. Grown woman doing that to 2 year old is nasty. Calling you a silly bitch is nasty too. You did well not to engage and to complain instead.

sleeponeday · 12/02/2016 16:31

I can't believe there are people reading this who think the OP did anything wrong.

I'm really sorry this happened to you, OP. It must have shaken you up. Soft play can be Lord of the Flies at times when it's busy.

catsinthecraddle · 12/02/2016 16:44

the whole story does not make any sense at all.

A normal parent reaction to a 2yo being "shoved" by someone is to tell off the adult or child. If anyone pushes your kid, wouldn't you instinctively say at least "no", or "careful" and protect your kid? Most people would even be a lot more vocal than that.

It doesn't mean you don't tell off your kid later.

It doesn't make sense that someone would let that go, tell off her kid, go into another argument later, leave in a strop, come back and complain. It's really 2 parent as bad as each other here.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 12/02/2016 17:18

It can also be quite normal for someone to stand there shocked and be running thoughts thought their own mind like "did I really just see that,did that happen"

People react in many different ways to many different things.

I can remember once many years ago sat at a table in shock totally horrified questioning what I had just seen after watching an extended family member hold a crying childs nose and actual force a fork full of carrots into their mouth causing their mouth to bleed.

It took some minutes for me to react because nobody else did, I was questioning my eyes then my level of horror of the child had not had blood on their face it is quite likely I wouldn't have outwardly reacted at all

MadamDeathstare · 12/02/2016 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tanith · 12/02/2016 18:19

Agree completely, Madam - sorry if I didn't make that clear.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/02/2016 18:29

My goodness, she shoved your little baby, what a disgusting woman. Did you see that! Why did you not pull the mum up on that, it is totally unacceptable to assalt a child! I would make a complaint about it! It was unacceptable for her to push your 2 year old dd, and her behaviour was unacceptable. Next time get your mamma tiger on too Wink.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/02/2016 18:32

This behaviour is normal in toddles, they will push and shove one another, and op was onto it! What else is she supposed to do! The mum was out of order pushing your toddler, totally uncacceptable. The most she should have said to her was, "we don't push, its not nice", well you can see how some kids grow up, with parents like that!

sleeponeday · 12/02/2016 19:24

catsinthecraddle what makes no sense is anything you have posted, tbh.

Shock often means people react to appalling behaviour a little time after, and how you can decide that a parent expressing concerns about disgraceful behaviour in a facility to those running the facility makes them as bad as the other person... I'm sorry, but your postings on that front are just illogical to the point of stupidity. Someone swearing at someone whose child they have just abused, verbally and physically, is in the wrong. If the other parent did not respond in kind, then they are not in the wrong. This is not hard to comprehend, surely?

MadamDeathstare · 12/02/2016 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsinthecraddle · 12/02/2016 19:42

sleeponeday

I don't believe for a second the story happened the OP told it. Where on earth did you see anything about a child being abused verbally and physically in her story? If the OP was really concerned about someone physically manhandling her kid, she wouldn't have waited for another argument to react.
If the OP's kid had been hurt, she would have started crying and her mum would have comforted her instead of "telling her off" as she did.

The other woman obviously told off the OP's kid, the OP got stroppy, 2 harpies ended up having an argument in front of their kids. They obviously were both wrong. If you don't like your little darling being told off for hurting another child, then keep an eye on them. It's not that difficult, surely?

catsinthecraddle · 12/02/2016 19:43

or quoting the OP "told her in no uncertain terms that it was not acceptable to push people and to play nicely or we would be leaving"

You don't do that to a kid in tears who has been shoved by another adult, surely?

Devora · 12/02/2016 19:55

cats, if you think OP is a troll, do report it. But I have to say I struggle to understand posters who look for ways to prove an OP can't have happened, and construct their own fantasy scenario in its place.

Vintage45 · 12/02/2016 19:58

a two finger shove to the shoulder?

Chinks123 · 12/02/2016 20:05

I would of said something to her when she pushed her, it made my blood boil a bit imagining someone pushing my DD. When she was only about 14 months we were at a play museum with interactive sort of exhibits, my brother was showing her round I was sat close by and saw an older woman stood next to them and thought I saw her touch my DD. My brother ran over with DD saying the woman had said "naughty girl don't touch that and shoved her arm away" I was livid Angry ran over to find her and she'd gone. No excuse to shove someone else's child especially when they're a bloody baby.

Arkwright · 12/02/2016 20:06

She sounds unhinged, you should have reported her immediately. You should have been with your child though so she couldn't hurt another child. At that age they need constant supervision.

Chinks123 · 12/02/2016 20:06

That should read "naughty girl don't touch that" and shoved her arm away..

Chinks123 · 12/02/2016 20:07

P.s she was allowed to touch it, it was an interactive exhibit

Dollymixtureyumyum · 12/02/2016 20:19

Er Cat where in the Op did it say that the two mothers ended up having an argument in front of their children.
If you think the Op is making this up report her instead of troll hunting

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 12/02/2016 20:21

First of all your DD is 2 years old. 2 year olds push each other all the time. It's just a part of growing up. I can't stand parents like that. Always spoiling for fights over kids. It's ridiculous. If she's going to kick off every time another child pushes her little snow flake DS, She's in for a hard time.
Also she assaulted your DD by shoving her and screaming in her face. The soft play must have CCTV. I'd be pressing charges.

Gattabianca · 12/02/2016 20:21

I have the most placid child in the works so soft play can occasionally be difficult. If another child pushes him I only intervene if the other parent isn't around to do it themselves. I would say no very firmly to a child if they pushed mine but I would NEVER shove a toddler. The mum sounds awful. YANBU

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 12/02/2016 20:24

Well exactly Gatta. You might say Oh play nicely, but you wouldn't rant and rave like a banshee on freeeeeekin glue

PunkrockerGirl · 12/02/2016 20:26

Every time I read a soft play thread, I give thanks to the god of parenting that soft play wasn't a 'thing' when my dc were small. It sounds like the worst kind of hell.

sleeponeday · 12/02/2016 20:30

catsinthecraddle you are inventing your own version of events, here. There is nothing "obvious" about it.

And calling someone a "harpy" based solely on your own fevered imagination is rude and ridiculous.

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