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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sell DP's stuff

44 replies

Crazypetlady · 10/02/2016 17:18

My d.p has spent a ridiculous amount of money on the credit card on points for one of his ps4 games . I am very tempted to LTB but as it's his first time doing something like this I think it would be a tad overreaction . I am not at all happy though and may stay at my mums for the night to cool off with ds. AIBU to tell him he has to sell some of his things/pick up a couple of extra shifts to pay it off?

OP posts:

Original poster

Crazypetlady · 10/02/2016 18:05

Are you on another planet Autumn Yes my d.p is the only earner but it was a joint decision being pissed off at him for spending money we don't have is not controlling. Single people with no responsibilities can spend their salary on what they like but people with families should be more considerate.

OP posts:

Arfarfanarf · 10/02/2016 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Crazypetlady · 10/02/2016 18:06

I don't mind being told AIBU but I am not being controlling

OP posts:

0pheliaBalls · 10/02/2016 18:14

You're not being controlling, Crazy. Yoir DP is behaving childishly and doesn't seem to want to face up to his responsibilities. £70 on a game (on a credit card too, so money you don't actually have to boot - let's not forget he's gone into unnecessary debt here) when your DS needs a buggy is unacceptable. You need to tell him as much and ask how he intends to cover the payments - don't forget that if you only pay the minimum every month there'll be interest walloped on top too, so it'll end up costing a good bit more than £100. I don't think you should sell his stuff, but you could point out that as DS needs a buggy and the credit you'd earmarked for it has now been spent, he might want to sell something voluntarily to cover the cost.

As PPs have said, £70 is a lot of money when you haven't got it. YANBU, at all.

0pheliaBalls · 10/02/2016 18:15

A good bit more than £70, sorry!

Lweji · 10/02/2016 18:20

If he's going to spend family money at that rate, then you'd probably be better off on your own with benefits.

I'd let this go but tell him in no uncertain terms that it was the last time.
I'd also ask how he was planning on paying for the stuff the children need. His cock up, he solves it.

Soooosie · 10/02/2016 18:20

You're not being controlling. Yes he needs to fund the £70 somehow. Not using family money

Littlef00t · 10/02/2016 18:24

That's horrendous! I would definitely be asking him what he intends to do in order to have the money to pay for ther other things you need, pointedly suggesting certain things to sell.

Original poster

Crazypetlady · 10/02/2016 19:01

Thanks all I have told him it's the last time he is going to do extra shifts. I am still angry but not sure what else there is to be done.Taking a passive stand and not cooking his lasagne for tea. He's having beans.

OP posts:

CakeNinja · 10/02/2016 19:09

I'd be pissed off it was money you don't have but then dp and I have one credit card that we use for booking car hire and flights etc which get paid off in full at the end of the month as they aren't real bloody money and it has to get paid back some time.
Spending CC Money on games is Imo irresponsible particularly when you need other things and money is so tight.

He must be feeling under pressure as the main earner, and everyone deserves treats from time to time, but you can't afford this, and it only benefits one person. Selfish in more ways than one.

Not sure how you deal with it though. He is technically an adult and shouting doesn't really help.

wannabestressfree · 10/02/2016 19:13

This is where mumsnet is a world away from some people's lives.
Some of us get it it's OK. Rant away :)

Original poster

Crazypetlady · 10/02/2016 19:16

He said he knows it was a dick move he was careless he didn't intend to spend that much money he just didn't think as like you said it isn't real money. We do usually pay it off and we will just have to scrape together to pay it now. With the extra shifts it should be fine. I will be buying ds a buggy regardless so if any shortfall he can make it up with his shifts. I get a final £200 maternity next week so that will cover everything.
Thank you all he does seem to know he was foolish at least.

OP posts:

ephemeralfairy · 10/02/2016 19:22

I would be bloody furious in your position!! £70 is a LOT of money for us at the moment. Don't rant and rave though, or threaten to sell his stuff- much better for you to keep the moral high ground.

Have an adult conversation about it and lay the guilt on.

0pheliaBalls · 10/02/2016 19:30

Glad he's admitted it was a mistake and it all seems to be sorted, OP. Hopefully he'll learn from this!

Natkingcole9 · 10/02/2016 21:26

Jesus £70 is a lot of of his wage. I'd be livid too!

Zeusette · 10/02/2016 21:33

I know this isn't the point of the thread but these pushchairs are great value
www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/4259273/searchTerm/Swirl+pushchair.htm

www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/3825251/searchTerm/Swirl+pushchair.htm

Original poster

Crazypetlady · 10/02/2016 22:38

I'm hoping he learns too. That pushchairs great some cheeky mare is selling the same one on facebook for more than it is in Argos. [shocked] I have to sit on my hands not to point stuff like that out I'm terrible.

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Abbinob · 10/02/2016 22:51

I have this pushchair, cost £20, bought it for a camping holiday last yead as I didn't want to wreck the expensive one on the beach and I now use it more than the other one because its small and less of a pain the the ass to navigate around town, DS (giant 2 year old) prefers it too

www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/9104213.htm

QuietWhenReading · 10/02/2016 23:06

Autumn I'd be furious if my DH spent £70 on points for a *computer game^ and our joint income is in six figures.

It's not controlling to expect your DP to stick to the household budget.

It's not controlling to expect a grown man to control his spending on nonsense so his child doesn't go without a buggy.

Crazy you are fine to rant on here as long as you are talking to your DP too (which it sounds like you are).

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