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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder where all the kids from the baby names are?

380 replies

Abbinob · 09/02/2016 16:24

Was browsing the baby names forum doing a bit of daydreaming about a future not yet existant tiny squishy baby, as you do..
Algernon.
I have never in my life met a baby algie

OP posts:
stumblymonkey · 10/02/2016 16:15

I've met adult's called Tyrion, Christabelle, Felicia, Sylvie, Kamla, Genevieve, Elliot...I didn't know Elliot and Genevieve were considered unusual until I joined MN.

I don't really know why people get theirs knickers in a twist about unusual names....you just accept what someone's name is don't you?

NeedACleverNN · 10/02/2016 16:16

I know adults call felicia(goes by fliss) and Cassiopeia (goes by cass or cassie)

MrsKoala · 10/02/2016 16:20

Crystal, silly is the same really.

What i am trying to say is that i don't believe that the decisions on what sounds silly or ridiculous are made in a vacuum and there is more going on subconsciously when people hear a name than 'that collection of letters sounds silly'. It sounds silly because why? do you think some other words which are not names are silly words and don't use them for the everyday objects they represent. i doubt it.

It is no coincidence that the words that people think sound silly are those they aren't used to and are therefore 'other' to them. Their response is to defensively dismiss them rather than challenge their own perception and their motivation for deciding the word are silly.

There are no silly words really. We aren't born thinking something is silly, our culture and society affects our decision making process.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 16:22

Okay then.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 16:28

Let me say then that I sometimes roll my eyes at the cultural signals that people sometimes try to convey when choosing their kids' names.

MrsKoala · 10/02/2016 16:36

Do you think they are trying to convey cultural signals? Or do you think they really like that name? Do you think i thought about the names of my precious children and thought 'i know i want people to think i am posh, so i am going to choose a posh name?'

It's normal that people choose names from their own cultural circles - we are tribal animals after all. But i'm not convinced people select their offsprings name with such a clear agenda. Which is why names change with fashion. I think people just choose what they like, and they happen to like (subconsciously) what makes them similar to their tribe. Not liking another tribe is normal and good for the preservation of your own type. But i don't think people should be disingenuous and say they just happen to randomly dislike all the names which they find alien. That would be too much of a coincidence i think.

usual · 10/02/2016 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 16:48

Do you think i thought about the names of my precious children and thought 'i know i want people to think i am posh, so i am going to choose a posh name?'

Well seeing as you mentioned vacuums surely you must agree that no-one chooses a name in a vacuum?* I don't know what your kids' names are but if they're of the Peregrine and Tarquin variety well it's hardly a coincidence is it? You are posh, or want your kids to appear to be posh, or you're enthralled with all things posh. You weren't choosing them on the sound alone.

There is a celeb who named his son after David Bowie. He couldn't call him David though as that wouldn't have declared to the world how hip he is. Only 'Bowie' would do that.

*Except maybe Chinese immigrants choosing their 'English' name. They seem to choose on sound alone and often plump for something very much out of fashion.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 16:50

But i don't think people should be disingenuous and say they just happen to randomly dislike all the names which they find alien.

Did anyone say they dislike all names which they find alien? I frequently come across beautiful names which are completely new to me.

MrsDeVere · 10/02/2016 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hopefully · 10/02/2016 16:56

I have a Persephone (usually shortened to Percy). Gets a lot of blank looks on first introduction, and I'm sure she'll be just thrilled when she starts school and has to write it, but on the whole I get incredibly positive reactions, and lots of people I know well have said they wish they had been brave enough to go for names they loved but felt were a bit out there. We live in Devon, so definitely not city slickers, but in an area with a real mix of types of people, so she has far from the weirdest name in town! DS1 and 2 have slightly uncommon but not unusual names too,

MrsKoala · 10/02/2016 16:58

I thought i covered that in this paragraph

It's normal that people choose names from their own cultural circles - we are tribal animals after all. But i'm not convinced people select their offsprings name with such a clear agenda. Which is why names change with fashion. I think people just choose what they like, and they happen to like (subconsciously) what makes them similar to their tribe. Not liking another tribe is normal and good for the preservation of your own type. But i don't think people should be disingenuous and say they just happen to randomly dislike all the names which they find alien. That would be too much of a coincidence i think

I chose the names i liked for my children because i liked them and they were part of my 'tribal' identity. So yes i am x. Which i agree with. But i don't think people choose them because they want to appear in a certain way to the rest of the world. I'm just not convinced people are that thoughtful. I think we are more simple creatures than that. I would like people to be more self aware and honest about why they don't like names, rather than 'it sounds silly'. More like 'it sounds silly to me because it is different from what i am comfortable with within my tribe'.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 17:01

I would like people to be more self aware and honest about why they don't like names, rather than 'it sounds silly'.

No. You'd like people to say 'Yes Koala, you're right'. Different thing entirely.

MrsDeVere · 10/02/2016 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 10/02/2016 17:07

What usual said.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 17:07

But i don't think people choose them because they want to appear in a certain way to the rest of the world.

All names give signals.

Thomas - I like classic and classless names

Peregrine - I want people to know I'm posh

Conchobhar - I want people to know I'm Irish but what's more I'm a scholar of Irish names. None of your common Conor for me

Spike - I want people to know I think I'm a bit of a rebel, a bit rock n roll.

MrsKoala · 10/02/2016 17:11
Confused

Surely everyone feels they are right when they are having a discussion with someone who has a different opinion. But to say my only reason for having this opinion is so people say i am right is more than a little reductive. It also doesn't actually address what i have said. Which is a classic case of deflection.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 17:13

Deflection? I already addressed what you said.

But i don't think people should be disingenuous and say they just happen to randomly dislike all the names which they find alien.

And I responded with

Did anyone say they dislike all names which they find alien? I frequently come across beautiful names which are completely new to me.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 17:15

But you ignored that.

Original poster
Abbinob · 10/02/2016 17:15

Should have put light hearted in the title Wink

OP posts:
CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 17:17

Well OP I've never met an Algernon either. Except in those Five Find Outer books by Enid Blyton. Frederick Algernon Trotter if I recall correctly, Fatty for short. Poor bugger.

But that's Blyton for you!

MrsKoala · 10/02/2016 17:20

Of course all names give signals. I have never said they don't. What i dispute is the reason parents choose them are that they are desperate to give those signals or that that is their main agenda. As is said i think people often just choose what they like, which obviously does give signals (we have to name our children something after all!) but not necessarily as cynically or intentionally as some people think.

MrsKoala · 10/02/2016 17:30

Sorry, I didn't see that sentence Crystal and i think that probably is a bit different actually. I am obviously speaking very generally here, but mainly because i think people are often okay with tribes which are completely different from them and see them as exotic and interesting. But those which are a bit closer to home and 'challenge' them a bit more, results in a more defensive response to what can feel like an attack (ie they have chosen names a bit different from my tribe, does that mean they think my tribe is wrong/bad etc).

As i said i think peoples responses to names are a lot deeper than they realise. Obviously just my opinion. I certainly don't want to get into a bun fight about it. I just find musing on it quite interesting which is why i love name threads and names in general.

MrsDeVere · 10/02/2016 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrystalMcPistol · 10/02/2016 17:36

I certainly don't think I'm so special and different that I just chose a name I liked the sound of!