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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour and fence WWYD

55 replies

Vickymumof4 · 09/02/2016 12:27

Bit of background. We have a very tense relationship with the lady next door going back a long way. She is an absolute nightmare .. A real neighbour from hell but we try to keep things civil to avoid escalation of any situation as has happened previously, ie things like not allowing her to attach her extension to our wall as it would mean that her extension would be in our garden and not agreeing to move the fence so that she could gain 2 feet of our garden, resulted in night after night of music blaring till 3am, police being called etc and many many other rediculous situations over the years. The fence in between our properties blew down last week with the high winds. It is a double fence meaning she has hers and we erected a new fence alongside as she stated she owned the original fence and wouldn't allow us to paint 'our' side to match the others. So her fence blew down bringing our fence down with it. she refused to erect another fence unless we paid half so we agreed to keep the peace, however we did state very very clearly that we could not pay half this month and it would have to wait till March as we have just had a huge bill for our car and have no spare this month. All agreed but I have come home to find new fence has been put up and an letter from the fencer through the door saying he will call this evening for payment. We don't have the money and I'm furious that she went ahead anyway. I have no idea what to do as I cannot produce £300 by tonight. I'm actually quite scared of confronting her and am waiting for my husband to come home but he won't be in till 7 and I don't want to just fob the poor man off who thinks he's getting paid tonight. WWYD.

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 09/02/2016 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/02/2016 13:50

If her fence damaged yours then shouldn't she be paying for your fence to be repaired Confused
I'd be very wary of agreeing to pay half in March until you know if it is reasonable etc because if she won't let you paint and you need to pay for your own repairs you might find you're admitting responsibility by offering.

SisterMoonshine · 09/02/2016 13:54

More fool him for expecting payment from someone he's not had any agreement with.
Perhaps phone him before he comes over.

HairySubject · 09/02/2016 13:55

I agree with talking to the fencer, show him the texts and ask to pay in March, if he demands immediate payment then refer him to the neighbour.

Does anyone remember a fence thread where the neighbour repeatedly leant over the fence to pain the other side or did I imagine that one?

CheesyWeez · 09/02/2016 13:57

You could ask the fencer in, give cup of tea etc. Explain situation: That she's a nightmare, her fence knocked down yours, etc, and you had already agreed to pay half of new fence in March. I would do this so that you can make sure the bill you have is actually HALF and not ALL of it. Is it exactly on the boundary? Does it look nice?
He will be ok with being paid next month. He will have to be, you don't have it! Ask if she has paid her half yet?

I'd be wary that SHE posted the bill through the door, the bill for ALL of it!

sorry this has happened to you OP...

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 13:59

Sometimes you just have to suck it up; the people we bought our house from apparently paid for the RH fence, which wasn't theirs, because they thought it was.
So the LH fence which was completely shattered, with huge smashed holes in and sections missing entirely, was something no one wanted to pay for.

The people on the left are lovely, but far too laid back to bother, and their dog kept coming over and shitting on our lawn while we were doing renovations.

We just bit the bullet and got a proper, decent fence, before we moved in. Dog problem solved without a word, but if the neighbours had been arseholes and it had been their fence, I don't think we would have been happy to pay £800 to sort it.

I think your neighbour will never be nice whatever you do. You can only try to avoid making things worse.

limitedperiodonly · 09/02/2016 14:00

Why not give the fencer a Creme Egg OP? And your neighbour too.

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 14:00

But yes paying for half of it won't make it half yours.

NoSquirrels · 09/02/2016 14:02

Don't stress too much - if there is a number call the guy about the payment and explain reasonably before he has a wasted trip this evening. If you don't have the money now, you can't pay him, can you! I expect he will be reasonable, most people are even if your neighbour is not. As PPs have said, his contract is with neighbour not you, so he can't really get too annoyed about it. If he wants paying now, he needs to chase her and you give her the cash in March. I would suggest that to him, TBH.

And yes, you prob shouldn't have offered to pay for half the fence but sometimes it's better to pay to get rid of a problem than to face the stress, so I understand.

Original poster
Vickymumof4 · 09/02/2016 14:13

There are a couple of texts, but mostly agreed verbally. The texts were sent after the verbal agreement really to ensure that she didn't back out of her half of the bill and clearly state that yes we were happy with the quote for the fence but as we had already paid out for the car we couldn't afford to go ahead until March. Verbally I asked her what she intended to do as her fence had damaged ours and she said that it wasn't her fault, it was an act of God so we should both have to pay equally or she would just leave the fence as it was. Both fences had fallen into our garden and were laid on our patio and was an absolute mess. She wasn't bluffing about leaving it either .. Her garden is a complete mess so she isn't bothered about not having a fence, where as I am bothered! I didn't want her to be able to harass/ talk to me when I'm in the garden, so the best solution was to agree to pay half, after 3 quotes, which she got, but I have seen them all. I am happy to pay, that isn't the problem, just that she shout have gone ahead before the agreed date. There is a number on the invoice but goes to voicemail 😐 so will just ring him later and explain what has happened.

OP posts:
PegsPigs · 09/02/2016 14:18

I would show him the texts and ask for his bank details or postal address to transfer the money/post a cheque in March. Then you're showing willingness to pay at a future date. Should make you feel less bad.

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 14:21

Wow she's lovely isnt she HmmGrin

I can see why you went for it

I'd be putting up something ten feet tall with spikes on if I lived next door to her, if I'm honest.

Good luck and remember to get a proper invoice from the guy.

Collaborate · 09/02/2016 14:27

But yes paying for half of it won't make it half yours.

Yes it will. Why wouldn't it?

OP - make sure you pay the guy direct, and get a receipt as proof.

diddl · 09/02/2016 14:32

Well you could just have replaced yourown fence & left her without one!

Can see why you thought that this was the way to go though.

Presumably it'll be the same as before though, that you can't paint it & will end up putting yourown up as well at some point?

DoreenLethal · 09/02/2016 15:06

If it were me OP - I'd have just got my side mended and left her to her own devices.

ratspeaker · 09/02/2016 15:23

I'd also double check that the fencer is only wanting half from you not the whole amount.

OzzieFem · 09/02/2016 16:03

I'm not sure about in UK but you should check your house insurance policy as fences can be included, in which case the fencing repair should be paid for by the insurance company.

YellowTulips · 09/02/2016 16:08

I'd also get the contractor to confirm the TOTAL bill.

Given her form are you sure you are being charge for 50% of the bill....

cuntycowfacemonkey · 09/02/2016 16:12

I don't understand why you didn't just mend your own side? If the workman comes he can't insist on any payment from you and he is a fool if he thinks that's how it works.

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 17:25

I assumed that the boundary fence would still belong to her, or whoever owns her house in future - no matter who paid for it?
Whose responsibility is it if the OP has paid half? Does she now have to maintain it too?

The whole thing sounds a bit bonkers.

Stratter5 · 09/02/2016 17:32

No Pippa, the boundary belongs to the person, doesn't mean a fence paid for by someone else also belongs to them. The fence belongs to the person who paid for it, the responsibility belongs to the boundary owner.

Stratter5 · 09/02/2016 17:33

And yes, get the fencing guy to confirm the total amount before you cough up anything

RandomMess · 09/02/2016 17:37

Hopefully the guy will be reasonable about it. Tell him what date you can pay him - after checking the total cost.

At the end of the day if he took it to small claims court he wouldn't get the money any faster!

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 17:53

Oh, Ok. Thank you Stratters. I could never be a lawyer Grin

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 17:54

If anyone asks in future, I own my children, but I'm definitely not responsible for them.