to not pursue asd diagnosis for 12 yr old?

[cabsarehere]

Hi,

I'm posting here rather than the sen boards for a wider variety of opinions.

My 12 yr old DS is currently on the waiting list for an asd assessment. We have been waiting since oct/nov so I think we still have a good few more months of waiting yet.

I am really torn as to whether pursuing this is in my son's best interest. I am concerned that the assessment process will be stressful and make him feel like there is something wrong with him and that if he did go on to be diagnosed that he wouldn't take it well at all and it could actually make things worse.

He is coping relatively well at the moment. He is prone to outbursts of anger, these have been occuring maybe twice a month since starting high school in sept. Only at home not at school.

At primary he did have angry outbursts at school but only about once every 5-6 months his behaviour at home was mostly ok during this time.

His schools have never mentioned asd as a possibility it has all come from me, I suffer with anxiety and worry that I have just read too much about asd (on munsnet mostly) and have convinced myself there is a bigger problem than what there is.

He is at such a sensitive age and his self esteem is so fragile.

I also wonder what support is actually available, he would be at the much higher functioning end of the spectrum and I'm not sure what could be offered that would be helpful.

I myself fit a lot of the criteria for asd, I think that if I had been told at age 12/13 that I had asd I wouldn't have pushed myself to do things that I have.

This is just going round and round in my head, I am driving myself crazy!

Any opinions/advice would be much appreciated.

DS got a diagnosis for ASD at the age of 10. He is high functioning, and has problems with anxiety, social interaction, some sensory issues, although he mostly functions OK.

We have found the diagnosis extremely helpful in accessing any support that he needs, particularly in secondary school.

In fact, When we were choosing a secondary school, all of the learning support people that we visited talked about being in a stronger position to support a child if they have a diagnosis, given how scarce their resources are. Might be worth talking to your future secondary school(s) to get their take on the situation.

Sorry OP, just re-read your thread and saw that your DS is already at secondary. Still would advise going ahead with the diagnosis - it can bring support, understanding and compassion.

I wish I was diagnosed as a child. School might not have been hell. And I might not be a absolute wreck of a person now. In short he will get help to cope. Although I now have a diagnosis. It doesn't mean as much now.

cabs
If your child exhibits non-typical or challenging behaviour they will get a label and it may not be a good one. For example, both of my DS are dyslexic (one is also dysgraphic) and I decided to get them diagnosed at primary age. Part of my logic was I would prefer my children to be correctly labelled as dyslexic rather than incorrectly labeled as "thick", "disinterested" or "lazy".

Getting a diagnosis doesn't change who your child is, nor does it affect the condition they have but it can make living with that condition easier because people understand your child's needs rather than making negative assumptions about their behaviour.

I've wondered about this for my DS. He has definite autistic traits which have got worse since starting high school. He was assessed age 7 and were told he didn't meet the criteria. He is recognised as SEN though and does get a lot of help at school. Therefore, for him, I don't believe a diagnosis would be helpful and it wouldn't change the support he gets.If your DS isn't getting enough help at school then it might be worth pursuing......