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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School uniform - I agree with uniform and I realise I chose a school with a uniform policy, BUT ....

148 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/02/2016 10:42

.... sometimes I feel they are making a mountain out of a mole hill, and wasting too much time and energy on it:

DD(14), wore a collared white school shirt yesterday, top button done up, with a skirt, and we had a letter home.

She should have worn her open neck white shirt, as she had a skirt on. Had she worn trousers then the buttoned up collared shirt would have been fine, with a tie. Not allowed to mix the two.

Detention will be given if it happens again.

Only another 16 months to go ...................

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 09/02/2016 11:26

OP I think it's a daft rule but why didn't she put a tie on if she knew she was supposed to be wearing one?

Pipistrella · 09/02/2016 11:27

That's really daft. I have issues with uniform, myself, especially in primary school as I think it's generally unsuitable for playing in.

Secondary is different - but you would think a school would have bigger fish to fry than this.

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/02/2016 11:28

Suburban - not allowed a tie with a skirt!

OP posts:
PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 11:28

Oh wow there's a Pippistrelle...Smile

Hello! Were you here first, or was I?

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 11:29

As you can see I am operating a two name policy right now Grin

DragonboysMum · 09/02/2016 11:29

That's absolutely bonkers! Shock

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/02/2016 11:29

Unless you're one of the few who are given a 'golden tie' in year 11 for being on target with every single subject. You're allowed a tie and a skirt then.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/02/2016 11:30

This isn't a private school, state high school.

OP posts:
Yourarejokingme · 09/02/2016 11:31

I agree over school uniforms but that takes the biscuit.
I'm Scotland so it isn't conpulsory for the kids to wear one but is encouraged.
Doesn't matter what shade or colour as long as it's a school uniform mainly black and white some grey thrown in too.

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 11:31

Right, advanced search suggests you have been here way longer than me. I will therefore defer to you and keep with the Pippa version, and ditch Pipistrella.

My humblest apologies for the hijack!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/02/2016 11:32

A gold tie for being on target in every single subject. That's surely discrimination against children with SN.
They can't all be little Einsteins.

jay55 · 09/02/2016 11:33

That is bonkers and a waste of time and money.
As is the primary school socks issue, coloured toes are so darn useful for matching after washing.

leccybill · 09/02/2016 11:34

I'm usually all in favour of strict uniform rules but I've been teaching at a small multicultural primary school lately with lots of refugee children (with more arriving daily). Rightly, the uniform rules are quite relaxed. I was looking at them all in assembly in a hotchpotch of polo shirts, formal shirts, ties, cardies, jumpers, skirts, pinafores, trousers in grey, black, navy, you name it.
But they all sat proudly and looked thrilled to be at school. The learning in this school and the attitudes are fabulous. It made me think really - it doesn't really matter does it.

pippistrelle · 09/02/2016 11:35

(Hello PippaHotamus -are you also Pipistrella? If so, I've noticed you around. I've been here with this name for a while, but I'm not a prolific poster - not in AIBU anyway - too fighty.)

stealthsquiggle · 09/02/2016 11:38

I am going to miss DC's school when DS leaves next year. Dress code rather than uniform. An ethos in which second hand clothes are cool. Space to express themselves, and be comfortable, but they all look reasonably respectable and there is remarkably little brand awareness.

OP your DD's school really needs to find more important things to worry about.

PippaHotamus · 09/02/2016 11:39

Pippi, yes - I've PM'd you! Smile

I avoid AIBU too, most of the time. I agree it's hideous, and have it hidden though I get drawn in via trending Grin

Topseyt · 09/02/2016 11:44

That is ridiculous OP, and other posters are also giving anecdotes of pettiness over school uniform.

I am all in favour of school uniform as it looks neat and saves a lot of grief for parents over what their child can/can't wear every school morning. Not when it is enforced to ridiculous degrees though.

When my DD1 (now almost 21) was just about weeks from doing her GCSEs her school was forced to change its uniform because the supplier went bankrupt. DD's year were to be allowed to finish off their time at the school in their existing uniform because they only had about 6 weeks left of needing it at all. All fair enough, except my DD was outgrowing her skirt at the time as she had suddenly grown taller and it became too short.

I tried to prevent trouble by calling the school to come to some arrangement, even offering to take DD to M & S at the weekend to buy a standard dark skirt which would do the job instead. They tried to insist on brand new uniform and wanted to give DD a detention at one stage. I then made another, this time very sharp, phone call to the school (not something I normally would advocate doing at all, but I was out of options by then) in which I stood my ground and said I would NOT pay out £100s for something which would only be used for a few weeks so we MUST come to an agreement. They backed down and then said that they probably had some stuff in their former second hand uniform store cupboard. I never did work out why they didn't offer that in the first instance. Surely it was the obvious solution, and sure enough DD found a skirt there which I paid £5 for.

The other bugbear is that schools should not be allowed to set a uniform which is only available from one or two particular suppliers. That means a captive market and those suppliers can name their price. It bumps the cost up.

pippistrelle · 09/02/2016 11:50

gold tie for being on target in every single subject. That's surely discrimination against children with SN.

Not seeking to defend school uniform craziness, but I'd assume that targets vary depending on circumstance so it's not about being top of the class, but about doing well according to your own strengths.

Mistigri · 09/02/2016 11:53

You can't help but wonder what some of these head teachers are taking ... Whatever it is I definitely don't want any of it Grin.

Meanwhile DD14 went off to school happily this morning in jeans and trainers and a jumper, as usual. Clothing is a total non issue in her school (except for the bizarre rule that they can't use their scarves to cover their heads if they are awaiting outside in the courtyard in the rain).

Namechange02 · 09/02/2016 11:56

the school said if they allow girls to wear trousers boys have to be allowed to wear skirts

and this matters because?

Sigh.

Dreamgirls234 · 09/02/2016 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pippistrelle · 09/02/2016 12:06

Loving the random scarf rule, Mistigri. I think if I were a head teacher that's the sort of random rule I'd go for - adds character!

ouryve · 09/02/2016 12:07

Wouldn't it have simply been less work to say "undo your top button please" than to send a letter home? Confused

Inertia · 09/02/2016 12:08

That's ridiculous.

Uniform is fine, but the bizarre levels of pettiness just defy belief.

Would it be the end of the world if boys did start wearing skirts? Even the royal family wear kilts occasionally.

Inertia · 09/02/2016 12:09

DD's high school won't allow boots, which I think is harsh as so many pupils walk to school.