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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be umming and ahing about asking dp if we should try for dc2?

9 replies

littlejolee · 08/02/2016 20:57

More of a wwyd probably.
Before I had DS, who was a surprise baby, I was 100% adamant that I don't want any children at all. Then when I was pg I was all about never wanting to be pg again because it was honestly the most uncomfortable and stressful nine months of my life.
After DS was born until I'd say about 6 months ago (he's 2.4 now) I was vehemently against him having a sibling.
But now I'm all broody, for the first time ever! So I don't know. He's said to me in the past that he wants two. I was an only and a very very happy and well loved child, dp there was him his mum and his sister.
DS has just started nursery and I'm a sahm so a fair few things would probably have to change if we TTC dc2. I guess I'm just torn between sort maybe liking the idea of DS being a big brother and finally getting some baby free time now he's started nursery (also not sure we could afford dc2 tbh, we probably could but would be more of a stretch obvs)

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 08/02/2016 21:30

It's such a personal decision! I always assumed I would have 2 kids. My daughter is now 6 months old and there have been plenty of moments when I've thought I'm never doing this again!' But it gets a little bit easier (or I get more used to it!) every day. How would you feel about repeating the last 3 years of your life but with a 3+ year old child in tow? I guess that is what you need to ask yourself. And I think talking to your husband might well help to clarify things. Maybe even ask your DS what he thinks!

Original poster
littlejolee · 08/02/2016 22:10

Ds is only 2 so I don't think he'd really understand if we asked him but he's a lovely gentle little boy and he does very much seem to like other babies :)
I think with regards to the last three years, is maybe where I'm having reservations, but I think part of why I wasn't as keen on the baby stage is the fact that ds was unplanned (though very much wanted when I found I was pg, there was no doubt in my mind about keeping him) and I didn't have the slightest clue where to begin. I feel a lot more comfortable around babies now and I'm blessed that ds really is a very good easy going kid and I almost feel like it wouldn't be any more difficult second time around because I have so much more confidence and I'm less panicked by babies now iyswim? I'm probably massively kidding myself here though.
That being said if we were to expand our tribe I think we would have to move out of our tiny little two bed ex council house!

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ridemesideways · 08/02/2016 22:15

How long have you been feeling like this? Is there a pattern? E.g.I 100% don't want any more, apart from around the time when I'm ovulating - stupid body tries to trick me Angry

ridemesideways · 08/02/2016 22:16

So wwid - wait until I was sure it wasn't my fertility talking, and then have a good hard think about the pros & cons

Original poster
littlejolee · 08/02/2016 22:18

Haha definitely more around ovulation! Not that long in real terms really, about 6-7 months. I dunno. I just think ds would be a great big brother tbh

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MissWimpyDimple · 08/02/2016 22:19

How would you feel if number 2 wasn't a laid back child. I'm sure you would love them all the same but believe me, having an "easy" first child followed by a high spirited second is a real eye opener.

Xmasbaby11 · 08/02/2016 22:22

Don't ask ds - it's not his decision!

I have 2 with 2 year age gap. They are 2 and 4. Hard work but they are amazing and we're so lucky we both wanted 2 children. I feel the family is complete and no broodiness. It's a really nice feeling.

Are you getting bored at home with one? Only asking because i would be! Might be nice to have another one to liven things up.

Original poster
littlejolee · 08/02/2016 22:27

I wouldn't say ds is easy as such, well behaved for a 2yo boy if we stick (fairly) rigidly to a routine, but very sociable and loving. He certainly wasn't an easy baby by any means, very spirited and too clever for his own good sometimes (but I am really loving the toddler stage and think I might be finally starting to get a handle on the whole being a mum thing touch wood). I think if was really difficult or unruly though I would probably think twice tbh. But he's not. Just headstrong and independent

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Original poster
littlejolee · 08/02/2016 22:30

No Xmas he's not long started nursery and quite liking the peace tbh! I doubt that will last though, can fast see boredom creeping in

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