to think that this is slightly odd and that a 13yr old should be able to be on their own for half an hour?

[ciabattav0nbreadstickz]

At uni last week and some members of the class were discussing with the tutor the possibility of changing one of the lesson times to suit the tutor a bit better.

It was mentioned that one person in the class would struggle with the later finish time as she had childcare issues. She has 2 kids, the youngest being a 4 yr old DD who attends the onsite nursery so I assumed it was this one who they were referring to.

Actually, it turns out that the problem is her DS who finishes school 15 minutes early on that day. Fair enough. Except he's 13! Apparently she does not like the idea of him being at home by himself until she gets home and apparently he 'can't sit quietly for half an hour' at the uni while she finishes the lesson. Aibu to think this is a bit odd? Are 13yr olds really incapable of being left on their own at home for half an hour? Do to the fact that she lives around the corner from the uni and the times that her/his lessons finish it really would just be half an hour at the most that she wouldn't be there.

Her ds has no SEN or anything that would mean he needs to be constantly supervised and when she speaks about him he sounds as if he's pretty sensible. Aibu to think she is being over the top about not letting a 13yr old be on his own for short periods?

They shouldn't be talking about him behind his back either. Can you imagine if they were talking about a black person, calling them a n**r or something? Referring to being violent as well?

Fuck that. Record them and go to their superiors.

Yes keep plugging away at this op. Surely there are other people on the course who will complain with you?

The woman sounds like an arse from your later comments about her bullying the 18 yo in the class - if she is an arse she may be using her child as an excuse to keep the class at a time she likes and not care what suits everyone else.

Normally a 13 yo should of course be able to be home alone for several hours.

If she is not just using the child as an excuse then it is possible he is very badly behaved in some specific way - capable but absolutely not to be relied on to respect the home/ property/ stay off porn sites on the internet/ bring less sensible friends home who might wreck the place or whatever (I do know somebody who sings the praises of her very capable and bright child but takes it for granted that he steals from her and won't see that this is not "normal" behaviour to be dealt with in an "oh aren't kids exasperating" way - I'd be unsurprised if she wouldn't leave him home alone for that reason, despite the fact that when she talks about him he sounds very sensible, bright, charming and wonderful too... )

The 13 yo could also be very anxious or anxious about very specific situations of course - whist still being a sensible lad. I remember a 19 yo at uni who wouldn't be in a house alone and spent a lot of time sleeping on friends' sofas if his house-mates were away, and left the house immediately if he realised all his house-mates had gone out, even when he had nowhere specific to go and essays to write... Quite a limiting boarderline phobia which I did always assume stemmed from never being left home alone as a kid, but maybe it was more than that

I am keeping records of the things they say, in case I need to refer to it later.

Hidden, exaclty. I'm sure they wouldn't pick on anyone else on the course in the way that they do to him but because he can't really defend himself they seem to think he is fair game. It really incenses me. They say things like 'shut the fuck up you dick' under their breath if he answers a question or, (and I'm paraphrasing here) something like 'I'm going to slap him if he doesn't shut up', stuff like that.

Others have definitely noticed and at least one other student said they would come with me and support a complaint.

Schwabi actually I think you may be on to something there. She has a big, loud personality and likes to be in charge. We are working on a group project at the moment and when she wasn't chosen to be the leader and assigned a more minor role she got very huffy and refused to show up to a class where we were working on it. Then complained that she was being left out.

My mum wouldn't leave me alone for any length of time until I was 14. Irritated me no end. I was very sensible. Some parents just don't like to leave their children alone.

I don't see why he can't sit somewhere else in the library though, but it is her decision.

Her attitude to the student with Aspergers doesn't preclude her own DS having something and her either being in total denial about it or having her own ideas about how to handle it that others probably wouldn't agree with.

As has been alluded to, though, there are all sorts of complex (and simple) reasons why some 13 year olds can't spend time unsupervised at home.

And you definitely need to re-iterate your complaint about that poor student's treatment in writing. Her and some of her colleagues need some rather severe retraining in equality and diversity.

Maybe he is a holy terror and she is scared he burns the house down brings in half the class or she just doesnt feel comfy leaving him all sorts of reasons just because she didnt share why doesnt mean the woman doesnt have good reason not to leave him.

Then the issue is with the women not the excuse she gave. Another woman with different attitude and behaviour she could give the reason for not changing a tutorial, as not wanting to leave her 13 yo and that could be perfectly acceptable. I think you probably need to leave the childcare thing alone and deal with the bullying as there are clear priorities at play here.

Omg op they sound vile.

Next time one of them makes a comment like that under their breath can't you loudly say so the tutor can hear 'would you like to tell the whole class what you just said'

I would in a heartbeat.

You say he doesn't has SEN but how sure are you?
Also, they may be hidden needs. He may be epileptic or have anxiety.
You do sound a little judgemental.....she obviously has a good reason.

Perhaps he is prone to good ideas

I love this.

After school is apparently when the most sex occurs between kids. Just saying..

..she obviously has a good reason.

Well, she has a reason, and without knowing the full circumstances, none of us can know if it's a good one or not.

Seems a pain, but everyone signed up to the course at the original time, so unless she agrees, I guess there's not much that can be done to change it.

Massive drip feed! Who cares about her childcare choices, report the bullying!

Sorry missed that you had already reported it but keep reporting it till something is done, especially if she's threatening violence. That's the bi issue here and the one you should have lead with, not that she's a bit overprotective of her son.

*big

my friend won't leave her 17 year old alone my 15 year old babysits her she is fine totally normal no issues etc at all its a bit odd really but the girl love spending time together so its no great stress