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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DC posing with their presents

54 replies

mumzuki · 07/02/2016 18:09

Those pictures that people post, with a grinning child in front of all their birthday presents, carefully arranged - what's that about?

A) Look how lovable Harry is, in this bizarre materialistic world where stuff = love

B) This is how we're teaching Harry to brag about his possessions, because that's a healthy prop for his self esteem

C) We spent loads of money on Harry, which makes us better parents than you

D) Something else, that I'm too much of a cantankerous miserablist to get?

OP posts:
ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 07/02/2016 19:48

I've got photos of me in front of Christmas gifts in the 80s, it really isn't a new thing at all.

I can't get worked up about photos of happy and excited children in front of presents at all.

Adeleslostbeehive · 07/02/2016 19:50

The ones I've seen I like, from an aesthetic point of view. I like nicely arranged products. But I've not seen a baby one and one which includes gurning people probably doesn't look that good.

I wouldn't make a moral judgement on it though. But for most people it seems that's what FB is all about

Katenka · 07/02/2016 19:52

How is different from 'here's a photo of Harry on the beach in Florida?'

Aren't most photos on social media, bragging of some description?

jaykay34 · 07/02/2016 20:14

Back in the 1980s, every year at Christmas and on my birthday, my mum (who wasn't an avid photo taker) used to take photos of me opening my gifts and then a pic of me, grinning ecstatically, sat next to them.
I love these photos and it's given me a memory of all my old toys from my childhood.
I do a similar thing with my kids for the same reason. Some I have put on social media - not to boast but because I use it as extra digital storage.
It had never crossed my mind that these kind of images would make someone feel inferior, or make me look like I'm bragging or materialistic. They're just a snapshot of a time.
Admittedly, I don't do it with the older children now as I don't really want people knowing that we have a house full of gadgets - but I still take a few of them unwrapping stuff.
To be honest, I didn't know people paid any attention to the hundreds of Facebook Christmas albums that pop up - I always think they are a bit one and the same and don't browse them unless they are of other family members.

Adeleslostbeehive · 07/02/2016 20:22

Some people properly stalk Jay Kay. I know friends who spend hours looking through all the saved photos and check their friends profile in detail every week. They tend to be quite insecure I find and desperately worried about what everyone else is up to. Like you I only look at photos that come up on my news feed

jaykay34 · 07/02/2016 20:50

adeles I guess I'm a bit naive to that side of Facebook. I've got a couple of friends who have been stalky over new guys they met and will literally go through their whole profile - but I always think that nobody on my friends list, except close family and friends, would ever be interested in looking at/ analysing what I do.
I now have visions of work colleagues, mums up the school, and old school friends now going through my albums saying "look at her and her bloody kids on another trip to the zoo, thinking they're it !" Grin

SoupDragon · 08/02/2016 07:21

D) Something else, that I'm too much of a cantankerous miserablist to get?

This

ChubbyPolecat · 08/02/2016 07:26

I've got a woman on my fb who definitely does it for bragging. Her child sits in the middle of all her wrapped presents with them all piled up around her to show how many she got. She does the same at easter with easter eggs

milkingmachine1 · 08/02/2016 09:32

I'm with you OP, my SIL does this and in her case it's definitely to do with bragging. She's a real 'keeping up with the Jones' type. But then I can't stand her so that taints how I view anything she does!

SaucyJack · 08/02/2016 09:43

I don't do it myself, and I'm not that interested at looking at photos other people have posted of badly wrapped presents.... but I can't get my panties in a was about it either.

Most people use their FB as a glorified blog, and if you're a parent then understandably your kid's birthday is going to be the most noteworthy thing that happens in your house that day.

What do you want people to use FB for OP? Rather ten piles of presents than one lemon faced old whinger.

ZiggyFartdust · 08/02/2016 11:24

I just see a picture of a happy smiling child on their birthday.
Shower of miserable shites, its not about you!

Hihohoho1 · 08/02/2016 11:31

Perhaps they are just having a happy family Christmas and want to share the joy.

Don't be a hater! Wink

Keeptrudging · 08/02/2016 11:34

I've taken photos of my DCs with (and opening) their presents at Christmas and on birthdays since before Facebook. Both events are huge/special events in children's lives. I'm sharing special moments with my friends and family, it's bog-all to do with boasting. Many of them are overseas/at the other end of the country and sadly can't be with us in person to share these events any other way. Some people should get off Facebook, since they clearly don't 'get' it.

deepdarkwood · 08/02/2016 11:36

d) This an exciting moment for my child, and s/he is chuffed to bits - it makes me happy so I'm sharing it?

I'm sure there's an element of pride/showing off in there, but isn't 60% of FB showing up
(Remaining 40% split between:
videos of animals being cute/amusing: 20%;

discussion of hangovers: 10%;

sharing random 'save cancer/win tenty-fiddlestick-million-pounds by clicking here: 10%)

Balaboosta · 08/02/2016 11:38

I don't have a single FB friend that does this. Just don't friend people if you don't like their way of doing things!

WonderingAspie · 08/02/2016 11:47

Here here ziggy. I have a photo of DS grinning from ear to ear with his scalextric that he desperately wanted. No in haven't posted it on Facebook because I happen to think that people on my friends list won't really give a shit but it isn't about bragging over what he's got, it's about how happy he is

Every Christmas I take photos of the unwrapped presents, then a photo of all their presents together in a pile when they are opened. Last year DD wanted to sit beside her presents. I like it as a record for me. I remember it being done occasionally when I was younger. But I love photos, I don't put many on Facebook though as I'm not usually interested in other people's and they probably think the same about mine.

LittleLionMansMummy · 08/02/2016 11:50

I agree it's a bit crass. The ones I've seen tend to be done in more of a 'thanks for my presents' way than anything though. For those who obviously can't be arsed to send personal thank yous.

caitlinohara · 08/02/2016 11:59

Actually, this IS the trouble with FB - the fact that it gets 'friends' snarking about each other's choices about what they 'share'. Most people are FAR too competitive and judgemental to just look at a photo and think 'oh that's nice' and then go about their day without feeling jealous or bitter. I guarantee that even though you may THINK you are just 'sharing' a bit of happiness, someone somewhere will take it to mean you are showing off.

PovertyPain · 08/02/2016 12:03

videos of animals being cute/amusing: 20%

It's obvious you're not on my Facebook list. My friends and I tend to post more pics of their pets than kids. let's face it, the animals are usually more amusing.

ZiggyFartdust · 08/02/2016 12:15

Most people are FAR too competitive and judgemental to just look at a photo and think 'oh that's nice' and then go about their day without feeling jealous or bitter. I guarantee that even though you may THINK you are just 'sharing' a bit of happiness, someone somewhere will take it to mean you are showing off

What a depressing and pessimistic viewpoint. Is it that all your friends and family are horrible, or are you just rather mean about everyone?

Xmasbaby11 · 08/02/2016 12:22

The only one that's shocked me was a photo of a Xmas tree with the most enormous pile of presents for the dc. It really was obscene. I don't like it but it doesn't necessarily mean the poster is materialistic.

deepdarkwood · 08/02/2016 12:26

PovertyPain - you may be right, I may have under-estimated the 'cats doing a funny meow' quota....

Tywinlannister · 08/02/2016 12:38

Oh dear, I thought of none of those things when I posted my DS with his far smaller christmas haul than many many other kids. My mum/grandparents don't have whatsapp. I can't send them a picture. They do however have FB. I don't even have the email address/phone number of some family. Again - they are on FB!

I have a friend who gives each child 4x what my son received. How am I showing off that I give my son less?! I just want the people that bought him stuff to be able to see his happy little face.

I have a before opening/after opening picture of me in 1981 aged 10 months old. i love it!

caitlinohara · 08/02/2016 12:40

Ziggy I am not on FB. Actually I think my friends and family are nice, but I have lost count of how many times someone has mentioned that so and so posted something or other that makes them appear an absolute bellend, and the number of similar threads on here backs this up as well. Do you not agree that people pretty much always come across better in real life than on their FB profiles?

ZiggyFartdust · 08/02/2016 12:45

I only have nice people on my FB, so I wouldn't know!