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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Valentine's card from daughters

84 replies

thisismypassword · 07/02/2016 14:51

Is it weird to send a cute card from my toddler and baby daughter to their dad? My family didn't do this but I thought it might be nice for my 3 year old to pick out a card and a cuddly toy for him.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/02/2016 18:40

Of course not, Mackeral, but surely they can do it every single day, dozens of times... without Hallmark's endorsement?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/02/2016 18:42

Yes but they can do that every day surely, without waiting for Valentine's Day?

I think it's weird personally but, each to their own and perhaps it will just evolve into a 'family' thing like everything else.

Adeleslostbeehive · 07/02/2016 18:44

There are lots of cards available now to daddy on Valentine's Day. If your DH would like it (mine would) go for it. No harm done.

Personally I wouldn't do a teddy, not sure what a grown man would want one for

Lucy90 · 07/02/2016 18:52

My DD has a card to give her dad, I think it's lovely. When I was 14 my mum got divorced and I bought her a card and some flowers for Valentine's Day and she was so touched I do it every year now

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/02/2016 18:53

Totally agree Lying

Children can demonstrate love for their parent in oh-so-many-ways.

Why can't their mum and dad celebrate their love for each other (solely) on Valentine's Day! Which is what its meant for Confused.

Valentine's day is not for father/daughter mother/son.

OP - if you had DSes would they be sending a valentines card to their father? No? Well, there's your answer.

herecomesthsun · 07/02/2016 19:24

you could make heart shaped biscuits together maybe, that would be sweet

CottonFrock · 07/02/2016 19:57

Flip the sexes, OP, as someone else suggested - would your young sons be making a Valentine's card for their father at your instigation? If not, why not?

And for god's sake, none of those godawful pink and red cuddly toys with twee slogans - they smack of total desperation and a random dash around Clinton's Cards, and no one likes them.

SaucyJack · 07/02/2016 20:04

Nah, I wouldn't.

I think it's quite cute when kids spontaneously make their own cards for their parents/carers. I got 7 from DD1 one year. Just an innocent gesture.

But I certainly wouldn't take the kids out specially to choose a card for DP. Anything I get him is sent from me, unsurprisingly enough. I'm his girlfriend- not the kids.

MackerelOfFact · 07/02/2016 20:08

The two things aren't mutually exclusive though, are they LyingWitch? You can tell someone you love them every day and still get them a Valentine's day card.

FWIW I don't do Valentine's day personally, but I struggle to care if other people do or not!

oobedobe · 07/02/2016 20:10

I am in North America and Valentines is celebrated by everyone, not just 'romantic partners' - all the little kids at school trade cards (mini ones you buy them in a pack) and decorate paper bags to bring their goodies home in (cards, stickers, lollipops etc).

I usually get the DDs a card each (from the dollar store) and a little gift (candy and some shopkins).

The DDs will usually make cards for me and DH.

Me and DH trade cards and go out for dinner.

I just see it as a bit of fun, my kids enjoy 'special' days and this is the only one between Christmas and Easter.

Last year we couldn't afford a big meal out so I did a special valentine's menu for us and the kids, 3 courses with a chocolate fondue for dessert. It was fun.

But obviously if you and your kids couldn't care less then don't do anything [shrug]

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/02/2016 20:16

I don't much care either, Mackerel but we were both sufficiently interested to post on this thread about it.

No, the two things aren't mutually exclusive but some things were supposed to be or at least intended to be. Perhaps Parents' Day will usurp the separate Mothers and Fathers day traditions.

Perhaps I'm a bit of a purist but I don't think Valentines Day is for partners either, it was anonymous, for unmarried, un-coupled people. Seems a bit fatuous to send a husband/wife a card with a '?' on it... but definitely not for kids.

The times they are a-changing. Grin

UmbongoUnchained · 07/02/2016 20:17

My dad used to buy me a card every year because I was upset that I was the only one in the house without one!
He also said its because I'm the only girl he will ever truly love unconditionally. (Until my little sister was born obviously)

Olddear · 07/02/2016 20:27

I think Valentine's Day should be kept for adults really. Kids can give cards/gifts on Mother's Day, Father's Day etc. As a pp said, kids don't have to be involved in everything

cuntinghomicidalcardigan · 07/02/2016 20:36

My DD (3.5) asked if she could choose a card for her daddy. She asked what all the 'love hearts' where for in the shops so I told her about valentines day when 'mummy is going to choose a card to give to daddy because she loves him ' (I know, I know). She says she loves daddy too so she wants to give him a card. I've told her we will make one instead as Daddy will love that.

She wants to give her daddy a card because she loves him. How can that be a bad thing? Ds is only 15 months but I was thinking of making a handprint card with him because he likes to be just like his sister Smile

I wouldn't get a soft toy though. My dc will give their dad some new hockey gloves, because he needs some and will enjoy/use them.

usual · 07/02/2016 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 07/02/2016 20:48

Those saying the op wouldn't give one if they had a ds instead are just strange! Ds cut out a picture of fireman Sam and stuck it on a heart to make a badge for dh last year - dh wore it to work. It is a celebration of love.

thisismypassword · 09/02/2016 11:13

I think the problem is is that many people are seeing Valentine's Day as just sexual. But you can see it from another more innocent angle! You've put me off now. I'll only give my husband something from the girls if they make them at nursery/toddler group!

OP posts:
whois · 09/02/2016 11:16

Your valentine is meant to be the person you love in a non-family brother/sister/mother/father etc relationship. Giving a valentines card from a child to an adult is not appropriate.

You have Father's Day and birthdays to express love from your DD to her father. Not Valentine's Day.

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2016 11:20

I think the problem is is that many people are seeing Valentine's Day as just sexual.

Why is that a problem? You asked what posters thought-most people think it's about romantic love. You don't have to agree.

You're welcome to celebrate in any way that you want. I will be celebrating keeping my money in the bank and not giving in to the enforced soppiness and pinkness of Valentine's Day. Smile

ClashCityRocker · 09/02/2016 11:24

Oh I used to always get a Valentine's card from my dad. I always thought it was sweet. Certainly nothing sinister about it.

We call Valentine's Day 'obligatory shag day' in our house. i think it's an odd holiday, but harmless enough.

Imagine trying to explain it to aliens....'one day a year, everyone buys steak and £5 bottles of Cava as well as cheap chocolates to give to their beloved in the hope of getting ones leg over'

ChipsandGuac · 09/02/2016 11:30

God some of you are uptight! There's no rules about Valentines Day. It's whatever you want it to be. OP, let your kids make a card if they or you want to. It's not weird in the slightest. It's a harmless way of spending half an hour doing some crafts with your kids.

Arfarfanarf · 09/02/2016 11:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marniasmum · 09/02/2016 12:27

my dd makes me a valentines card

neversleepagain · 09/02/2016 18:49

We are making a heart shaped piñata cake for dh.

Ineedtimeoff · 09/02/2016 18:59

DD gave her teacher a valentine card last year.
it was a sweet thing to do and why not.

As a previous poster said, do what makes you smile!

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