To apply for scary even tho he doesn't want me to keep the baby

[Mummystar123]

I found out I was pregnant and my ex Wanted me to have a termination. I have decided that I am keeping the baby and the advice on here and from my friends is to apply for child support but..... Is that not really harsh for me to do that when he wants nothing to do with our child. My ex husband and the father of my other children has a great coparenting attitude and it's never been a problem asking him to go halves on stuff for kids and he shares nursery fees etc.
I want to give me child everything they need and I'm getting varying opinions about this being reasonable or not

RudeElf

I not you blocked her

Wow she sounds nice.

All you need to worry about is yourself and your child OP. Don't be manipulated.

It's him she should be mad at not you op, she's a cheeky bitch.

Weird. What she does with her dc's is nothing to do with you, just ignore.

I've always thought that if I was a man I would always use my own contraception, whatever my partner was doing. Because if a pregnancy does occur, they don't have any say - which is as it should be. If my boyfriend went on the male pill I'd still keep taking my own birth control too!

Absolutely you should claim maintenance for him. He'd still be legally obliged to pay if you'd sneakily poked holes in condoms, but morally it'd be iffy. Morally he's obliged in your case because you discussed it, including the risk of ditching condoms and he chose to take that risk.

He wanted to stop using condoms for his own benefit. Now he has to deal with the consequences of that decision.

Ive had to block them and their friends and order a new phone number as when I blocked hi he just called me from a withheld number

Absolutely claim maintenance. The pregnancy took both of you. But a termination is entirely the woman's decision alone. The fact you don't want one has no bearing on his responsibility for your unborn child.

Just because nobody else has said it yet - if you weren't using condoms, you need an STD screen. My midwife offered me these as part of my standard antenatal care so it might be the same for you, I don't know. All the best

You wont get the nice coparenting situation your have the your exH.
But I would have no issue at all to ask for maintenance.

You might never see a penny though but it's worth asking. He took a risk by saying no to condoms and saying he would be happy with you keeping the baby which probably had more to do with the fact he didn't want you to know you were the OW He is paying the price of that risky behaviour.

I had a full STI screening when I had an early scan, I was bleeding and had to have one of those vaginal dildo scans😳 so I asked if they could screen me at the same time and it came back clear and bloods were all fine 😀
I have my 12 week scan on Wednesday! I heard my baby for the first time with the midwife this week too, this precious baby and my other doc are what's keeping me going just now to be honest.
My friends and family are supportive, they didn't like him anyway. Lol should have known.

Definitely claim maintenance. If you don't need the money at first, put it in a savings account. You never know what life will bring.

Definitely claim maintenance. He should financially support his child with you just as much as his others.

If his wife decides to stop him from seeing his kids then that's her problem not yours. She'll soon let him see them again anyway.

You just concentrate on your little baby and try to enjoy your pregnancy.

You'll probably have her trying to contact you again once your baby is born and you have out in a claim for maintenance, and her maintenance amount goes down as a result. Again this isn't your problem and if she can always ask him to pay the difference.

I'm sorry you're in this position. The baby is wanted by you and your friends and family, so it will work out somehow.

You sound like a lovely person OP and you sound like your a great Mum and I bet you'll be a great Mum to you new baby and your LO will grow up surrounded by love from you and your older children.

Claim through the CSA,he sounds like a right scum bag and keep them all blocked and honestly if you get any other hassle from any of them talking to a solicitor might be a good idea.

Congratulations OP I hope your pregnancy's an easy and happy one for you.

🍰☕️thanks for all your replies, I know what I have to do once baby is here.
I love this baby so much already and I have enough love for him or her that it's no matter he isn't there.
I think you are all right in confirming what I thought in that he should contribute to baby's needs financially, I'll get nothing in terms of child benefit or tax credits for this baby so why should I struggle with an extra mouth to feed on my own!?
Maybe one day he will be there for the child physically and emotionally too tho I doubt he will pull his head out of his ass long enough to do that😳
Thanks so much for all your replies both kind and practical😀