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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think I've blown my job today, would you have done the same?

156 replies

ilove · 05/02/2016 21:48

I'm a supply teacher/cover supervisor through an agency covering primary and secondary across Yorkshire, I work adhoc days to suit what fits in with my own kids and family and we also foster.

U agreed to work today in what is a decent secondary not far from home. My husband was also working overtime (we've had a very tough January money wise), but because his car is broken he got a lift in at half five this morning with someone who works on the same site but in a totally different area. I had my car at school with me.

Right at the end of P3 (I'd already taught Y7 and Y9) I had a Y11 class, teaching geography. As we packed up I noticed my phone flashing madly and looked at it - missed calls, texts, whatsapp said, messenger and emails all saying URGENT, CONTACT ME OR SCHOOL, SERIOUS INJURY and missed calls from my kids school too.

I rang my husband to be told that our youngest had had a serious head and mouth injury, bleeding, teeth forced backwards, blood from his mouth and face and could I get there now...

So I went straight to the supply department, told them, said I was leaving and went. Rang school and said I was on my way, then rang my husband to say I was too, and rang my agency to explain and apologise.

Just to say, we have NO family help. None. My in laws are six hours away and my parents both work and are over an hour away but wouldn't have come anyway. My eldest son is 90 mins away and works shifts. There are no neighbours at home who could have stepped in, we really are on our own and that's why I do agency work.

The agency were clearly very poised off with me and told me I should not have left the school (the school, by the way, were lovely - told me to go and not to worry and took all the handover stuff straight off me)

My boy isn't good, he has split top and bottom lip, ripped his frenulum and looks to have broken the muscle in his top lip as well as pushing his two front teeth right backwards so his teeth don't close together properly. He is a ? Concussion and needs waking every three hours tonight. Dentist on Monday unless he feels worse tomorrow and will then get an emergency appt with 111. Hospital were lovely, and surprised an ambulance hadn't been called as the child he bumped heads with was in just as bad a state but has my sons teeth marks in his head (apparently it was a game of tag!!!)

So WIBU to have but my son first? WWYHD? Sat here fretting :(

OP posts:
gandalf456 · 05/02/2016 22:03

Of course yanbu. I just cannot believe some employers

trixymalixy · 05/02/2016 22:04

Fuck the agency. You did absolutely the right thing. I would have done the same. Anybody that thinks otherwise is a dick. Your poor DS, that sounds really sore.

notquitehuman · 05/02/2016 22:04

Politely tell the agency to go fuck themselves. There are hundreds of teaching agencies who are desperate for supply teachers. Don't let these unsympathetic assholes make money off you any longer.

EchoOfADistantTide · 05/02/2016 22:04

TheCarpenter, OP said her husband got a lift into work as he didnt have his car.

I think it was a case of he couldn't leave work, not wouldn't leave work.

Original poster
ilove · 05/02/2016 22:04

Re DH, he would absolutely have gone had he not heard from me within minutes - the time between him messaging and me picking them up was three minutes, he was on landline, mobile and pc getting messages to me but he knew I would be there far faster than he could be - he would have had to get from one city to another through roadworks. If I hadn't responded within five or ten minutes his next rational thought would have been to ring the school I was at and get them to find me, while trying to get someone to take him - however he works somewhere that is not easy to leave, and he works in a very specialised area alone so worlds have needed to get someone to cover HIM - no him or the equivalent of him means lives are put at risk, his company have scaled back staff to such an extent it is barely safe

OP posts:
Soapmaker34 · 05/02/2016 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ollieplimsoles · 05/02/2016 22:05

Screw the agency, your poor ds Flowers

Ginmakesitallok · 05/02/2016 22:05

Of course you did the right thing! I've left important work meetings for less, when the school call.

Hope your son feels better soon, poor love

Soapmaker34 · 05/02/2016 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCarpenter · 05/02/2016 22:06

As per my previous post....

Hands up here who wouldn't lose a few hours pay to take a parent to their seriously injured child when the other parent was not contactable.

Ilovenannyplum · 05/02/2016 22:07

There is nothing on this earth that would have stopped me from getting to my son if he had been in an accident and he needed me

YANBU and I really hope he's on the mend soon

TheCarpenter · 05/02/2016 22:08

My apologies OP. From the volume of messages and calls from DH and School I assumed a longer time period had elapsed and you hadn't seen them as you were teaching.

Original poster
ilove · 05/02/2016 22:09

I keep looking at the messages - EMERGENCY. HEAD INJURY. CONTACT ME NOW.he needs some lessons in diffusing situations when I then have to drive, lol.

His bloody car needs repairing asap. Hate it when he isn't "there" iykwim.

I'll have to deal with the agency next week. On of the placement staff left there last year for another agency and he used to be my placement worker, I wonder if it would be "off" to text him and see if they are recruiting...

OP posts:
Ackvavit · 05/02/2016 22:09

Best bit of OP is that "school were lovely". So clearly they are ok with it and clearly they care about the child. They should be commended. Hope DS is ok.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 05/02/2016 22:10

I would absolutely have done the same. Your poor wee boy. Please let us know how he goes on and what the dentist says on Monday.

Mrsmorton · 05/02/2016 22:10

Get to the dentist ASAP. Monday is too late. Ideally it would be within 8 hours to reposition the teeth.

altctrldel · 05/02/2016 22:11

Of course YANBU. Id give you a pasting if you did anything put. If the agency cause trouble- make sure you cause it right back.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/02/2016 22:12

TheCarpenter give it a rest. That was imply not the case. Are you reading the same thread as me? The OP's DH was frantically trying to contact her as he knew that she could be there far quicker than him, whilst at the same time trying to put into place the safety requirements necessary for him to leave if there was no alternative. Not everyone has a job where you can just leave without there being safety critical implications.

MissWimpyDimple · 05/02/2016 22:12

Agree re getting to the dentist fast. Those teeth have to be sorted ASAP.

I would have done the same as you.

Original poster
ilove · 05/02/2016 22:13

No TheCarpenter it fell just at the end of me teaching a lesson, and my phone was on the top of my bag as that's where it sits, it was the screen going mad that made me click on it as the kids packed their stuff up. I then released them and rang before I left the classroom myself to find my supply manager - as I spoke to him I emailed her to say I had to leave in case I couldn't have found her - my aim was to throw the stuff at the first member of staff I saw and it happened to be her as I was working in the classroom next to her office.

Believe me if he could have got there faster than me he would have done. I was 4 miles away over a village lane with no traffic, he was 15 miles away with no car in another city. However any of his colleagues would have taken him yes, when I rang him I could hear someone in the background saying to him "is it I love?"

OP posts:
iseenodust · 05/02/2016 22:15

You did the right thing by your child. The school were lovely. IME as a manager (not in education) I have said 'Go' to staff when there is a family crisis. The agency have zero people skills which is actually quite funny.

Original poster
ilove · 05/02/2016 22:16

I rang the dentist after the hospital and there was nothing they could do today, and said as they are not loose Monday will be ok but if he is in more pain over the weekend to call 111.

Should I try and get him seen in the morning?

"Safety critical implications" is exactly the phrase without giving too much away. He works in a COMA site and they are on purple alert for "incidents" etc...but not enough of them now. It worries me that if HE had an accident, it could be hours before he was found.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 05/02/2016 22:17

YANBU. Hope your DS recovers well. I would NEVER work for that agency again though, if I were you. Just ignore them from now on.

Original poster
ilove · 05/02/2016 22:18

Oh, and I did tell the dentist what had happened - I had to leave a message as they were shut for lunch, they called me back after (apparently) speaking to the dentist herself

OP posts:
Catanddogmake6 · 05/02/2016 22:20

To be honest, I don't think I would be happy with a teacher teaching my child who didn't react exactly as you did. Of course you had to leave.

Also it is not in the slightest bit 'off' to contact the other agency. It wouldn't be in the normal run of things - in this case I think it's essential. Life is to short to work with/ for people who think leaving a seriously injured child alone is acceptable.

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