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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's just not possible to get housework done with a toddler?

60 replies

DarlingCoffee · 05/02/2016 12:37

I should probably add that I'm 35 weeks pregnant so interested also to know how/if people manage it with two!

I know everybody says 'just leave it' but I really can not stand a messy, filthy house so how do you do it if you do indeed manage it?!

All tips gratefully received

OP posts:

poocatcherchampion · 05/02/2016 13:39

We have 3 at home. Just potter around and do it.

Nap time is for me to relax.

Children don't watch telly.

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 13:42

I try and plan. I fail. DS3 is 19months. I rarely achieve anything unless the other 3dc are around or they are all in bed. I hate it. What I hate even worse is DS3s dad saying how easy he finds it to keep on top of household jobs when he has ds3 for 2 nights a fucking month and without 3 other children to contend with

EponasWildDaughter · 05/02/2016 13:44

Children don't watch telly.

Ah see mine will watch telly (24 months) but only for 10 mins max before coming to find me. I use this to glue her in one place while i do something like take the bins out/rush upstairs to get something without having to take her with me/do litter tray/go out to the car for something.

Anything i just need 2 mins for!

Daryan · 05/02/2016 13:44

I just kinda... do it. The child doesn't stop me. It's not like they physically retrain my arms. If they talk then I'll have a conversation, if they cry I'll ask them what's wrong, but I don't actually stop because of it.

I guess it's a case of getting used to ignoring them :)

Babymamamama · 05/02/2016 13:45

I found a play pen very handy for keeping dd out of harms way when I was hoovering.

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 13:47

Daryan I am trying my damndest to ignore ds3 but when his siblings aren't around he wants to be joined to me! All the fecking time!

How does anyone manage without tv? Genuine question? It gives me a precious 15mins where I scoot around like a lunatic to stop the house looking like it has been hit by a hurricane!

redskytonight · 05/02/2016 13:48

It depends on the toddler.

If they follow you about all day, screaming for attention, and mess up everything as soon as they look at it, and don't nap - yes it's very difficult.

It they sleep for large swathes of the day and are happy to amuse themselves or to "help" when awake - then pretty easy

Kokapetl · 05/02/2016 13:50

This is probably not good but when the toddler is being a pain (eg refusing to get dressed or throwing a tantrum over something ridiculous or impossible) I ignore him and use the time to clean/do laundry! Other than that, I try to involve him as much as possible. I think soon we'll organise a chart for him to earn rewards (like TV and laptop privilages) by helping out. I also have a 4 month old so OH does the big clean at weekends while the rest of us go out.

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 13:51

DD was born with talipes so she was in dennis brown boots until she was 18months old. They kept her fairly contained. I was only half joking when I said I should have kept them for the next dc. I really am joking before the PO jump on me.

BelfastSmile · 05/02/2016 13:52

Depends on the child and the housework. I can't do any vacuuming with DS in the house, as he's scared of the vacuum cleaner... If he's asleep, it'll wake him up. It's not worth having him howl the place down and cling to my legs! If he didn't go crazy each time he heard it, it would be fine to just get on with it, but I've given up for the time being and just vacuum when he's out.

He won't watch tv, so that doesn't help. But I can do certain things, like laundry, without too much trouble, by getting him to 'help'.

My mum is very good at coming round and either taking DS out or doing some housework for me.

catsinthecraddle · 05/02/2016 13:57

Do it with them, or distract them. I refuse to do any housework evenings or weekends, that's the only family time we have. (apart from the ironing in the evening, because I am paranoid following a friend's accident).

You can distract with their own hoover, the duster, toys, a box of clothes peg. It doesn't matter if the content goes everywhere, you do everything else and it takes 2mn to put away. A cupboard full of plastic pots, or a drawer full of socks keep mine occupied quite nicely.

Don't ask yourself if it can be done, but how? You will find a way. You can't carry a toddler when you are taking care of your baby, so the same goes with housework. They do get used to follow you around, or they disappear in their own room with their toys.

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 14:00

cats I would have said the same with dc1 & 2. Dc3 could be persuaded. Dc4 will not be put down. I have 5 minute bursts where I can get stuff done. I am a lone parent. The evenings are where I restore calm and order to my house.

lornathewizzard · 05/02/2016 14:02

DD 18mo is fairly good at pottering about herself, but also obsessed with Octonauts! So she watches that while I'm doing dishes / wiping kitchen tops. Other rooms she just potters after me, and bigger stuff like floors gets done when DH is here too (or ignored). I have low standards of housework though ha!

poocatcherchampion · 05/02/2016 14:06

Sorry not being smug but we never really think of putting it on. They play.

On days they are insufferable I get nothing done.

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 14:09

poo do they play together? All mine are 5 years apart so they have all only ever been at home on their own. I am their only company.

HoggleHoggle · 05/02/2016 14:09

Seriously, one of the reasons I arranged for ds to go to nursery one day a week is so I could do a proper clean once a week without an interruption or having to bribe him to amuse himself.

If he misses that day through illness etc then I ask dh to take him out for a couple of hours over the weekend. Or ask my mum to watch him for a little while so I can get 1 or 2 jobs done.

He will watch tv and use the iPad but I try to avoid using these for cleaning if at all possible...a proper clean takes a good 2 hours and I don't want him on a screen for that long.

He will let me vacuum midweek as long as he can play with it afterwards. He does love a vacuum cleaner and I plan to remind him of this when he's old enough to do chores

It's hard though op, I also lose my mind in a messy house, and well intentioned friends etc who say 'just leave it' have no idea how much it affects me.

Artandco · 05/02/2016 14:13

My two would always just play together, but they are close in age. They find Dh and I fairly boring in terms of playing with them (excellent!)

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 14:16

Artndco that is where I went wrong! I think ds3 finds me boring when his older 3 siblings aren't around to play with hence why he screeches at me so much when they are at school! And also why when any of the others are around (especially the 16 year old) I can blitz the whole house! bleddy kids

catsinthecraddle · 05/02/2016 14:19

I prefer to do the housework everyday, only a couple of hours first thing in the morning (before dropping to school, going to playgroups etc).

If you prefer to stick to one day, you can match it with the day you swap toys: I've split all the toys in 3, and I rotate every week or couple of weeks. Whilst they are busy rediscovering their toys, I get things done.

I mop the floors just on my way out, so it has time to dry when we are out.

Artandco · 05/02/2016 14:21

Oh, we also have a cleaner

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 14:23

I think that is where I am going wrong. I am over and done with playgroups. Done them for 15 years. I don't want to sit and discuss blw or what colour poo they have that day. Or have to explain my complicated family situation - and people are nosey, whatever others say on here. I spend too much time just me and ds3 on our own.

Baressentials · 05/02/2016 14:25

Artandco I worked out the 2/3 cheap bottles of wine a month I consume would pay for a cleaner. trying to work out which I would prefer!

Cindy34 · 05/02/2016 14:38

Funny times... Are you saying there is a correct time to do things? Am I meant to washup breakfast things in the morning? Morning tends to be washingup last nights supper!

Jw35 · 05/02/2016 14:40

Going through the same thing! Only 15 weeks pregnant though with a 13 month old. They're so demanding and need you all the time. If I'm washing up she cling to my legs whinging. I tried standing her on a chair next to me but let's face it, it's not practical and takes forever!

How long does he nap for? Mine is down to one nap for 2-3 hours. We do a toddler group most mornings and she has lunch and goes to bed. It's exhausting cleaning then as I'm also tired but I get the main stuff done.

My standards have slipped a lot in the last year though! Another way is to put them in the highchair with a snack for 10-15 mins. TV doesn't work for us for long, she's not bothered about it.

poocatcherchampion · 05/02/2016 14:44

Yes the play together. Dds are 3 And 2. Perfect for it!

And the newborn is just like another dolly to them

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