Turned 39 today and feel sad

[tattyteddy]

AIBU to feel so down?

I've turned 39 today and looking from the outside my life looks lovely. I've got DD(4) and DS(15 weeks) live in a nice area and home and have a job that I enjoy with a lovely DH.

However, I just feel sad all the time and right now I would love to go and hide away for a few days. Don't really want to talk to anyone and certainly not bothered about celebrating my birthday.

Why can't I just enjoy my life as it is, it's not even that I can pinpoint if there is anything missing.

Organise someone to come and look after the children for a few nights and go away with that lovely DH for a few days.

and start making lists of all the things you want to do, and get busy.

I have children from mid 20s down to 11, and does hit you sometimes that there is quite a few years ahead facilitating others,

So make a point of priortising yourself and DH occasionally , because it's really important that you pace yourself.

Did you feel like this before you had your DS? Are you getting enough sleep at the moment? It could be exhaustion, it could potentially be PND, it could be one of a dozen other things

You must be exhausted OP. It's so hard with a young baby and a little one. Do you have much support?

It does get easier

I turned 39 last week and have done serious work to do before I turn 40 - I feel like some sort of countdown has begun.

My two are 6 and 4 and I still feel like you do sometimes. Hang in there

Thank you for the kind replies. I know I decided to have children and do love them. I think it's the relentless nature of it that I sometimes find hard.

Unfortunately both my parents and Inlaws live far away so the lack of support gets tough too.

I do think I have pnd, I plucked up the courage and went to see GP a few weeks back and have an appointment with a counsellor in a few weeks time. Hopefully that will help me out of this negative frame of mind.

I'm 39 next month OP and I don't feel like you at all. I'm not saying that in some sort of uber smug way, it's just that I started young with my kids and have an almost 18 yr old, a 15 yr old and a almost 9 yr old. And that's my point - you don't feel like this because you're 39, you feel like this because you've got two really young dc and it's awfully hard work and very tedious a lot of the time. Good news is though - it gets better.

I am 39 next month too, I've got one 16mo DD, I'm glad I waited until my mid 30s, I loved the single life, going out when I wanted, lying in, please tell me I can do all that again when she grows up
Thanks for reassurance Northern Lurker.

15 weeks? long enough for the glossy glow to have workn off, not long enough for you to be getting any sleep.

I was really happy yesterday. today I hit a low... tiredness.

I think you're right it's more about having young children rather than being 39. To make it more fun DD was sick all night so is off school today and we're more tired than usual!

I'm 39 this year. No lovely DH and no kids!

I'm looking forward to my birthday though

The frustration, isolation, exhaustion and mind-numbing boredom of having small DC is enough to test anyone OP. Really, being 39 is fine (and certainly beats the alternative!), but being run down and fed up (and suffering from PND), is not. I'm glad you're getting help. Be kind to yourself. This stage of life is hard, but it gets a lot better, I promise.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I sometimes feel that everyone else is coping much better with motherhood than me.

I am 39 tomorrow actually. A good week for it I think! I hope the day is getting better for you tatty . Having young DC is bloody hard and I agree that it is life circumstance that is hard work rather than age I think. Can I say happy birthday?

I think that too tatty tbh. I think we are all good at putting on a good show but many of us feel as you do. We are rubbish at admitting it.

I feel very similar op although I am a bit younger. I have 3 yo dd and 7 month DS- they are both gorgeous and I am lucky but it this relentlessness of it all that wears me down if I think too hard. My way of helping is to try and get my pils or my dm to look after the children for a day or a night and me and dh go away. It's really restorative and makes you feel like you for a while

Ha! People put on a front to the world. No one saw the times my first drove me to tears! (I also think I had pnd but didn't get treatments.) We can only do the best job we can do each day. (And some days that's better than others!)
Being a parent is amazing, exhausting, messy, emotional and full of love and tears. And kids don't come with an instruction manual either.
We are only human. Xx

I'm 39 on the 23rd, sorry tour so blue. I feel like crying my eyes out today I am a pre -school teacher in a parish centre, this morning the church held a funeral service for a local 39 year old woman who lost her fight with breast cancer. My biological mum had cancer at 39. I hope you get the support you need hun for you

Ps I have other peoples kids all day but don't always cope with my own, at least you do your best.x

Thanks everyone I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. DH and I are hoping to go away for a couple of days for a spa. Just hoping inlaws agree to look after the children. At the moment both children asleep and hopefully no more vomiting! Furry animals your post made sad too. 39 is no age. Hope you're ok x