Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To not 'push' my 18 month old

42 replies

AliceInHinterland · 04/02/2016 17:28

I really see DS as a baby still, but I sometimes wonder if I need to start making more of an effort to help him get a head start on things.
He seems pretty average (in a good way) with walking, talking (in words only we understand!) and happy to feed himself (messily).
But I don't enforce strict table manners, not started potty training, generally cart him about in the pram rather than letting him walk (work FT so no time for dawdling), and definitely don't try to teach him anything beyond what naturally comes up in the course of the day.
So - do you think that he is still young and we should just carry on as we are, playing, reading easy books, weekend trips to the park, soft play or the farm? Or have you successfully challenged your little one with the result that they have become an all round over achiever?! Should I be teaching him his colours, alphabet and numbers in more than a half-hearted way, encouraging excellent table manners, and toilet traing him now? What amazing things could your little ones do at this age?!

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 04/02/2016 22:59

Just keep talking to him. Look there is a green leaf. Look at the yellow flower.

Look two stones one two that is how typical kids learn things.

Let him walk when you can eg on weekend.

He will pick it up.

You can get a potty let him sit . Without pressure.

Frazzledmum123 · 04/02/2016 23:00

I really think the best thing you can do is just give your child time and interact with them the way it sounds like you are doing already. You sound like a lovely mum and I think you are probably doing more than you realise without having to push him. I bet if you really paid attention to the things you say you are probably teaching him anyway - counting as you go up the stairs or play hide and seek, pointing out things on walks, mentioning body parts as you get him dressed, you don't need to particularly teach him things imo

My little boy was only just potty trained before he started school (he did have some issues with this) and I was so worried but he did it in his own time. We didn't teach him to read but we read to him and he is doing amazingly well at school with reading (if I do say so myself!) - again he did it in his own time as did a lot of the other kids in his class

The only thing I personally think is important is teaching manners and to share and play nicely with other kids - I had a friend who thought her little one was too young to teach that too and to be honest, it showed! He was horrendous at sharing :)

Just enjoy him and don't worry about what you 'should' be doing. If he is happy and knows he has you to rely on he will learn when it really matters

Frazzledmum123 · 04/02/2016 23:01

Sorry I really do write too much in these things!!

Original poster

AliceInHinterland · 05/02/2016 08:39

No that's lovely frazzled, it sounds like everyone has done a great job with their toddlers - and very good point on the social skills, they really are so important!

OP posts:

ApplesAndPears1234 · 07/02/2016 22:47

Just place marking for later.

Maisy313 · 08/02/2016 08:44

Cripes, this has worried me a bit. My son is 18 mo and I hadn't thought of doing colours or numbers yet. He's really good at feeding himself is a confident walker and has lots of single words (will put two words together like hi mummy, hi daddy, night, night daddy' but there's no way he could get himself dressed! He had a really horrible start with lots of worrying predictions so this has made me feel a bit anxious. But he seems on the same wave length as his peers... He's done two poos on the potty but that is mainly because he's a bit constipated so will say poo with quite a lot of notice and doesn't like doing it in his nappy...

Maisy313 · 08/02/2016 08:49

Ps - I think he understands a lot, will get shoes, books, puts things in the bin on request and can take socks off! He's got a good memory when it comes to finding things etc and is very social with family, friends and strangers but mainly likes to be held by people he feels close to. He plays well with older children but this involves chasing each other round or playing with a cooker etc... Although he does share reasonably well in classes etc not so much with his older brother.

Original poster

AliceInHinterland · 08/02/2016 08:51

Whereas mine won't put two words together at all despite me insisting 'say "bye-bye daddy"'. I guess you don't know how much they are taking in and when they will suddenly start doing something!

OP posts:

Original poster

AliceInHinterland · 08/02/2016 08:53

I think this was triggered by an article by someone who was teaching their 18m old to read (with flash cards etc)! Probably not a very 'normal' example by the sound of it.

OP posts:

saoirse31 · 08/02/2016 08:59

You sound lovely op, and your ds is lucky! Agree with others, engaging with ur ds is the most important thing, parks r great, throwing sticks in river, wandering around, as someone said pottering round... Physical play is important I think, we used to have lots of 'play wrestling' etc which ds loved. Also reading, and u don't have to restrict yourself to age appropriate fiction. Things like childens animal encyclopedia s were big success in my house, childrens books about space etc with pictures. Think while they wont understand everything its the act of reading to ds thats important, engaging with him while ur reading. Crashing toy cars into each other also a madly popular game!!

saoirse31 · 08/02/2016 09:02

Interesting to see the differences in 18 month olds... Hadn't even thought about potty trg at that age, not till well over two. Also was nowhere near dressing himself at that age... Or for a lot longer

AnotherCider · 08/02/2016 09:09

One of the best bits of advice my MIL gave me was to not try to rush a child's learning. Particularly with 'school' subjects. It is far better for them to be initially taught at school, and then you can give some extra help/encouragement afterwards, so that that WAY they learn is the school's method which they will continue to use rather than yours, and they don't get all muddled up.

DSs are in yr 4 and yr 2, and they did need extra help with certain things, but by letting the school take the lead and giving extra support at home its working out really well. There are LOADS of activity books that you can purchase that meet the requirements of the curriculum, and its much nicer for the boys focussing on the things they are finding tricky rather than trying to teach everything.

AuntieMaggie · 08/02/2016 09:35

When I mentioned potty training to my childminder she said she would let me know when she thought ds was ready but in her experience that would be when he was about 2 and a half. There are a couple of mums from my baby group that started potty training dead on 18 months... they spend their lives nagging at their toddler about whether they need the toilet, being in the toilet trying to get them to go and getting cross when they have an accident and I just feel sorry for them. There's no way I would even try to get ds to potty train now - I'd rather enjoy this time with him as he'll soon be grown up. Mind you he did purposely wee on my floor the other day between nappies

I also work though only part time so when I need to get somewhere ds goes in the buggy but if we're not in a rush I let him walk sometimes but I still have ongoing pelvic issues and we drive most places so buggy is easier. And if he sees a puddle he likes to roll around in it!

DS is a messy eater but at this stage I'm more concerned with what he's eating than how he's eating.

With other stuff I take him out like you do and talk to him about stuff but I don't push him too much. I guess my opinion on all this stuff is to encourage and expose them to stuff but don't force it on them.

2016Hopeful · 08/02/2016 09:42

I don't think you need to push him at all. If you are reading with him, playing, teaching him songs, counting stuff you don't really need to do anything formal. It's all about learning though play. If you are working full time he probably does a lot at his childcare provider anyway. No hurry for potty training unless he looks like he is ready.

Just enjoy the weekends with him doing fun stuff like park, farms, swimming etc.

TurquoiseDress · 08/02/2016 09:43

You sound like you're doing great!

Mine is just 2 now & we've got a potty but have not started proper potty training yet.

Definitely going to wait til at least this summer!

I work almost FT in a demanding job, so I'm always getting him in the pushchair as I simply don't have the time to let him meander in the morning.

I'll admit to not having too many 'mummy friends' so in some ways I don't feel the pressure of constant comparisons of each child's progress

ijustwannadance · 08/02/2016 10:04

Whilst I don't agree with pushing a child to learn, I do think as they are learning constantly at that age that things like colours/numbers etc are easy to throw in as a normal part of conversation.

cestlavielife · 08/02/2016 13:25

Just keep describing things look there s a blue car. Down the steps one two three. They will learn

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread